eVo held on to the wildly spinning turret as he was flung in all directions of the alphabet. This was the only means to defeat a terrifying gatling tank, as he had learned in his forbidden training. Desperately trying to hold the turret still, eVo hoped to turn the gun upon the tank it was made to defend.

Managing to score a few hits, he realized the smaller caliber bullets of the machinegun couldn’t possibly dent the black adamantium plating. The tank was now going in reverse quickly, bringing itself and that green guy back into the massive chamber in which it was discovered. eVo had been hoping this would happen, knowing what was coming next.

Maintaining his grip upon the struggling gun, eVo rode the tank past the threshold of the tunnel and it immediately began to transform and roll out. Soon the machinegun was pulled into the metal of the main turret. Brave warrior eVo had to look for a new handhold before the hate machine was able to fling him off. Dodging a moving tread shifting itself to the Decepticon’s shoulder, he soon found a ridge in what was becoming the thing’s midsection.

Now standing upright, the full power of Stormcrash was visible again. His massive claw swiped at our hero, only managing to score several deep gashes in its own waist. Soon that wacky frog was jumping to the flowing purple cape, grasping tightly in order to pull himself further up. His stamina bar was at approximately 50% now, and he was wishing he had eaten more white lizards before this little escapade.

The colossal Transformer was spinning madly, impotently tearing at its cape in a vain attempt to stop that smartass eVo, who was now upon his robo-clavicle. eVo jumped and grabbed now at the synthetic fur on the back of the wolfhead this robot called a sensor array, and danubed up to its crown. You see, there was usually a weak spot at the top. Any nob knows that. If he was wrong, though, eVo was pretty much screwed, watching as his stamina bar steadily dropped past 15%.

Buttfrom this vantage point he could see all his effort would not go to waste. He gazed upon the fiend’s forhead, where a black smudge had now materialized. He carefully moved forward, keeping his footing as he drew his chiblade. The Transformer realized his location and began headbanging to an unheard tune, probably Tyranny of Steel. Regardless, it did a number on eVo’s stability, and he slipped, just barely hanging on to the robot’s head with his one free hand. Now that the gravity was rapidly shifting, it made this part a lot harder.

Nevertheless, eVo was able to make his merry way to the black splotch, which now changed into a crazy glowing symbol of the arcane, no doubt placed there by Xarok’s own hand to bind the Transformer to his will. To eVo, though, it just meant “STAB HERE.” And that’s just what he did. The chiblade crackled, hungry for spells to destroy, and was plunged two-handed into the mech’s metal skull. Black liquid sprayed from this wound, causing Stormcrash to roar at an ear-killing decibel. eVo’s ears were not killed, though, because, uh... ninja senses.

The great beast shuddered jarringly. eVo jumped off before it could collapse with him on top of it, landing on his feet. He now struggled for something cool to say as he sheathed his sword, and went with:

“Transform that.”

He immediately winced at the one-liner, knowing he had just nullified any respect he might have earned from killing a Decepticon. Great was his shame, but there was still one thing left for him to do.

To be continued....

(Fun fact: In order to restore balance to the universe, eVo would have to kill an Autobot to make things even. He’d probably take out a scrubby one that wouldn’t be missed, like Bumblebee.)