FA+
Shop
343
Views
Views
13
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1024 x 2276
File Size 2.54 MB
Report this content
★
More from thatBIGdragonstory
Listed in Folders
psa: don't read this description if you don't want to be sad! sad warning :c
2 weeks ago I came on here to write a journal because I was sad and afraid. A part of me just wanted to vent, but I read it over a few times and then I decided I'd erase all the sad stuff and just keep what was marginally hopeful. But the truth is, hoping for cancer not to be cancer.. doesn't stop cancer, as much as I'm sure everyone in the world wishes it did. Uni hasn't stopped either. I've just had to push through and "be okay". So, this... this is a vent, which I may or may not delete later.
2 weeks ago my dog diagnosed. We tried to manage him as best we could, and we had some hope that he might feel better with palliative care. We could keep the nausea at bay for a week, but after that he declined rapidly and stopped eating and drinking altogether. Last week I said goodbye forever. I miss him staring at me at 6am, poking me with his nose until I got up. I miss him blending into the giant stuffed dog on his bed, making it hard to tell if he was with me or not until he stretched and rolled. I miss him getting excited about doing tricks, and refusing to come to bed until I took the time to brush his teeth so that he could get his routine treat.
I had to put my dog down and go home to write a presentation that I was expected to give the next day to a small audience who would be marking me on a scale from FAIL to EXCELLENT. The day after, I had to turn up to a shift where I had to be in the room while someone else's 1 year old dog went to the permanent sleep just like my old boy and I had to be okay because I was being marked on a scale of FAIL to EXCELLENT. The next day I had to write a presentation on another type of cancer on another dog because I have to get feedback on the stupid thing before I present it to an audience of 80+ people for a large percentage of my grade in 2 weeks' time. The next day I had to admit another animal to the hospital for death, and he was the only patient I saw that day, but I couldn't say no because I was being marked on a scale from FAIL to EXCELLENT. I'm sad. On a scale of fail to excellent, this week has been a fail, and I have been doing marginally.
Things are going to get better. I cherish the time I had with my friend, and I will remember him every day. Gone but not forgotten.
2 weeks ago I came on here to write a journal because I was sad and afraid. A part of me just wanted to vent, but I read it over a few times and then I decided I'd erase all the sad stuff and just keep what was marginally hopeful. But the truth is, hoping for cancer not to be cancer.. doesn't stop cancer, as much as I'm sure everyone in the world wishes it did. Uni hasn't stopped either. I've just had to push through and "be okay". So, this... this is a vent, which I may or may not delete later.
2 weeks ago my dog diagnosed. We tried to manage him as best we could, and we had some hope that he might feel better with palliative care. We could keep the nausea at bay for a week, but after that he declined rapidly and stopped eating and drinking altogether. Last week I said goodbye forever. I miss him staring at me at 6am, poking me with his nose until I got up. I miss him blending into the giant stuffed dog on his bed, making it hard to tell if he was with me or not until he stretched and rolled. I miss him getting excited about doing tricks, and refusing to come to bed until I took the time to brush his teeth so that he could get his routine treat.
I had to put my dog down and go home to write a presentation that I was expected to give the next day to a small audience who would be marking me on a scale from FAIL to EXCELLENT. The day after, I had to turn up to a shift where I had to be in the room while someone else's 1 year old dog went to the permanent sleep just like my old boy and I had to be okay because I was being marked on a scale of FAIL to EXCELLENT. The next day I had to write a presentation on another type of cancer on another dog because I have to get feedback on the stupid thing before I present it to an audience of 80+ people for a large percentage of my grade in 2 weeks' time. The next day I had to admit another animal to the hospital for death, and he was the only patient I saw that day, but I couldn't say no because I was being marked on a scale from FAIL to EXCELLENT. I'm sad. On a scale of fail to excellent, this week has been a fail, and I have been doing marginally.
Things are going to get better. I cherish the time I had with my friend, and I will remember him every day. Gone but not forgotten.
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1024 x 2276px
File Size 2.54 MB
Listed in Folders
I am deeply, truly sorry you've had to deal with this. Having had to experience this problem myself very recently I know how much it hurts to lose a member of the family like that.
It's something you carry with you for the rest of your life. But as you said you'll also always have the memories of your friend.
I hope things get better for you soon, you deserve that.
It's something you carry with you for the rest of your life. But as you said you'll also always have the memories of your friend.
I hope things get better for you soon, you deserve that.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is just absolutely devastating. But I'm sure he would be so proud of you for getting through this week. I know I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm glad you were able to use this platform to vent sometimes that helps a bit to just get it off your chest. My therapist tells me that future is guaranteed to feel different and even though I'm sure this pain will only numb and never go away, I hope you take the time to take care of yourself and know that things will feel better eventually.
Comments