I think I missed the punchline. D:>

Ooooh, okay, satire, I got you, thanks.

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helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women helpless women

i'm going to recommend this to EVERYONE. everyone. no mercy

no murrcy

haha, aw, i actually kinda like sabrina

all the more reason for him to mock it

?

her, btw:)

...... nah, I'm pretty sure that's a he *nods* look, his icon has a beard o.o

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/616255/

...doesn't mean anything. the character is female. besides, there are plenty of girls with male that represent them.

*male characters

mmmmmmmmmnah, I still don't believe it. Lies and deceit. You people just want my money and social security number

do ozy and millie PLEASE

do "better days" plz

KEVIN AND KELL.


RIGHT NOW.

do them all


and never ever change

"We each have an eternal torrent of tears gushing from our eye sockets! Because Hell is not fun."

columbine

child rape

MURDER

MURDER

Sometimes I'll just be walking on my merry way when suddenly, I exclaim:

"He was raping KIDS. KIDS with CANCER."

Then I will laugh for many, many minutes.

Oh god, now you're gonna make me start doing that.

One time me and my friend were at a red light with our windows down, and right before they turned green I shouted, "We KILLED people back there man! WE FUCKING KILLED PEOPLE!"

you have neatly summed up the jack experience, now I never have to read it again!


(but I will)


(because I hate myself)

I forgot to mention the psychic who makes fortune cookies but OH GOD NO ONE HEEDS THEIR WARNING

holy shit I just had an epiphany, CONSTANTINE RIPPED OFF JACK

ahahaha I REMEMBER THAT

I'd say I only remember the really really overwrought storylines but they're all like that, aren't they

Meh. Constantine sucked 'cause it had nothing to do with the Hellblazer comics other than the guy is called John Constantine.

I so wanted to make an anti-fan comic of Jack where I made the writing not horrible. But I don't have any art skills. Ah well. It was a doomed project full of masturbatory writing and pointless in totality in any case.

Just like the real Jack, come to think of it.

I also vote for Better Gays.

Er, Days. Unfortunately, it's already been done...

"I FUCKED MY SISTER!" *puke*

"Dongs."

XD

you forgot the part about 9/11 FOR SHAME

Hamfisted :( The fingers upon this hand are entire pigs, nailed to a ham, still living, squealing in pain. And producing webcomics!

Jack is weird. Bad quality in every sense, but tickles curiosity. :3

911?
School shootings?
A very not creepy grim reaper that looks liek the grinch with no teeth?


yes dude. yes.

and the rapist demon that looks like Violator from spawn

ech, i tried reading jack once. it was really confusing/badly writen wth lotz of typoeees.

more like.. write-os

As Ritts can assure you, I am an angsty whiner.

Yet not enough of one to read Jack.

Also, I am literate.

Therefore, I masturbate instead.

Dude, you gotta do the dolphin rape scene next!

"THEY WON'T STOP RAPING ME!"

What dolphin rape scene? :o

Dees one: http://pholph.com/index_a.php?Strip=20

Hamfisted? More like...side of beeffisted. Exploded whale chunksfisted. Staypuft marshmallow man only made of meatfisted.

please do share all the lovely hate mail you get from jack fans

i've gotten a few and they are PRICELESS

If you look back in the archives from like 2001 there's a REALLY SHITTY GUEST COMIC he asked me to do for that strip. I was friends with his girlfriend at the time...

... and still I lolled. Heavily.

http://www.pholph.com/arcview.php?ID=259

is this you? i'm guessing yes because it is the only good strip in jack's entire run

Nope, but that's the girlfriend I was friends with.

http://www.pholph.com/arcview.php?ID=110 THIS is me. In my defense, I can only take credit for the sloppy lineart. He got someone else to color it.

You thought I was just being hard on myself when I said it was bad. xD This was like... eight years ago mind you.

...OH MY GOD

CHIBI ANIME SCHOOL GIRL WHO EARS AND PAWS YELLING FOR KAWAII THINGS

yeah, you're right, that is pretty bad. but it only makes your current work that much more impressive knowing your sordid past. also, i totally sucked onl, like, two years ago so i can't judge

Of all these webcomics you're parodying, I've only read Jack. And this is pretty much spot on.

Lols were had.

That is all.

I've really only READ READ Jack myself, it was one of the first webcomics I stumbled upon way back whenever the hell I got on the internets.

Didn't have to read much of the others to know they were terrible, though.

I read maybe 30 pages of it before I realized that it was making less and less sense, and the plot eventually revolved around; SEND IN THE NEXT RAEP VICTIM!

>.>

I was young, and naive to the ways of the internets.

No commentary on the fact that EVERY GOD DAMN CHARACTER IN THE COMIC CRIES CONSTANTLY? I guess it beats having to draw different sorts of emotion, just slap some blue across their cheeks and call it a day.

Side note nobody cares about: I made a drinking game out of seeing how many comics didn't have a single tear in them, and I stayed fucking sober. My body metabolized the alcohol far faster than I was taking it in.

Fuck that shit.

Everything is just pure gold around here. ^.^

i always wondered why the art never improved. it's got to be hard to improve the writing, since it's starting from a tired premise. but you'd think the dude's drawing skills would have matured.

I actually love love Jack hardcore, since for me its easy to get past surface appearances. But a good joke or stab at things SO SERIOUS as Jack is pretty funny.

Hey, Jack's not so bad! I think it's a pretty good comic actually. Oh well *shrugs*

WOW YOUR ARGUMENT HAS TOTALLY CHANGED MY MIND

what about it is good, exactly?


the hackneyed writing?
the art that somehow manages to get worse every year?
the frighteningly infantile moral quandaries that hopkins sets up?

also, I see you're also fanatically arguing about the very same subject on PoE. Don't you have a job, or something? :'(

I'm just expressing my opinion. There's no need for that kind of language. I don't know why you hate Mr. Hopkins so much, but you should know that his work has really touched a lot of people and changed peoples lives! But you wouldn't know anything about that. *shakes head* Some people just want to wallow in hate.

I am more mystified by the fact that you seem to be on some kind of crusade defending the honor of worthless webcomics, really.

Well, you read Portal of Evil, so obviously I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Mother Theresa ain't got SHIT on Hopkins.

case and point. win

Thank you.

It's not that bad. Granted it's melo-dramatic, assumptive, and kinda preachy, and I wuold have thought taht in it's duration that the writer/author would have improved more dramatically...

But I found his iteration of the afterlife to be very interesting. I liked how in heaven people were allowed to create anything they wanted. Kind of like that one movie with...oh jeeze...I think it was Robbin Williams...I think, and he has to go to hell or something to save his wife's soul. That was a good movie. Kinda. >.> LEAVE ME ALONE! D:<

never was a truer comic drawn
you've seen "kate" right?

God this is like five hundred times better than the real thing

I would actually read this.

Do Dume!