Psyche Ward doodles enhanced in ClipStudio.

When I drew this I was coming to terms with him being gone. That is, acknowledging this is the reality I live in. I'm not in a fantasy, the last 20 years did happen and he is real and really dead. I'm still just as depressed because acknowledging it's real or not, I don't have my best friend anymore. The man I planned every step, big or small with. The man I kissed every morning and every night and sometimes just because. The man I let touch me (sexually and nonsexually) because I loved him enough for it to be ok. For it to be tolerable. For me to like it. The man who I admired. Who I aspired to be like. The man who showered me with affection and attention. The man who bought me things whether or not I asked for them because he thought of me. The man whose last text to me said, "I need my kitty." The man I truly loved more than anything.

Fuck "til death do us part."