I am writing you a love song
because, well, I don't really know
why, I think it's mostly because
I love you. It would make sense
to write a love song for someone you love,
but I AM AN ARTIST, and some artists use
beat-around-the-bush phrases
to express emotions they have
never, ever, EVER felt before
because they are lonely narcissistic pricks
who are probably gay or neurotic or both.
Thankfully, I'm only neurotic, and since
I love you, that means I am not lonely
and most certainly not gay.
BUT I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
and if some crazy, alternate-dimensional
scenario were to have me be
one of those ARTISTS, I would say that
"You are the warm summer wind that
whispers in my ear
the sweet emotions that the sun emits
FROM IT'S ASS CUZ THIS IS CRAP"
But this is my love song, not some alternate-dimension
heathen's spewing of filth, this is me,
spewing my own filth, only my filth
will make your heart melt, just like
Kitty Amazing.
And here it goes:
OH ERIC I LOVE YOU
MY HEART PALPITATES FOR YOU
MY BODY EMITS PHEROMONES WHEN
YOUR BODY EMITS THEM TOO
AND WHEN YOU GET ALL WIGGLY
I GET ALL WIGGLY
BUT MOSTLY ALL DANCEY DANCEY
AND YOU WIGGLE MORE
THEN WE MAKE LOVE
BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER
AND I LOVE YOU
And now I am done with this
beautiful, deep, extravagant, intelligent
emotional verbal release of all of the
desire and compassion my heart emits for you.
K BABE I LOVE YOU SEE YA SOON <3