“Well hello there!’, - Adam said, sarcastically waving to Charlie who appeared at the opposite of his table in the form of a hologram: “Long time no see!”.
“Only two days have passed, to be exact”, - Lute grumbled, glaring daggers at the princess.
“Uhh, yeah”, - Charlie averted her gaze, feeling quite awkward, but then cleared her throat with a cough, and spoke, trying to keep up a polite tone: “You see, we parted ways on a rather… sour note. Feels underwhelming, don’t you think?”.
“Maybe it does”, - Adam smirked, narrowing his eyes: “What do YOU think?”.
“I think… our meeting DID end too early on back then”, - Charlie said: “And I felt like we didn’t have a chance to discuss one more possibility this hotel of mine would mean to you! On a more personal level, that is. I mean, it could change your life as well if you’d let it do that!”.
“Come on, get to the point already!”, - Adam asked impatiently: “Tick-tock, we don’t have all day!”.
The princess felt her stomach rumble strongly. A sweat drop ran down her face, but she tried to play it cool. She was just glad that her bloated guts were protesting quietly and didn’t embarrass her with a loud growl. Charlie clenched her buttocks as hard as she could to prevent gas from escaping.
“I was hoping you’d perhaps be interested in…. joining the hotel? Yourself?”, - Charlie said, her voice breaking slightly on the last word. She wasn’t sure what she was doing anymore.
Silence fell in the room, before Adam shattered it, practically roaring with laughter.
“Holy fuck!”, - he panted, hitting the table with his fist: “This is even better than all the shit I’ve expected you to say! Fucking gold!”.
Charlie just stood there frowning, tired of being ridiculed by him.
“Alright, alright, FINE!”, - Adam finally said, still chuckling: “Don’t make such a sour face, girlie! You did get me interested! Look, I think I’ll even personally descend into that hellhole of yours. So that we can have a real talk!”.
“Oh! This is real progress!”, - Charlie thought, stealthily rubbing her stomach beneath the table in hopes of soothing it.
“Really?!”, - the princess asked, her demeanor instantly lightening up: “You’ll do that?”.
“Uh-huh, sure”, - Adam nodded. Then his expression turned sly, and he extended a hand towards her: “Just a small friendly handshake first, to seal the deal~”. Charlie stared at his hand, and then back at him gloomily, not buying into his prank this time.
“I’ve made you a bit smarter when we last met, huh?”, - Adam cooed cockily, and then there was a burst of clouds, that blew Charlie’s hair back, and bright heavenly light that made her cover her face with both arms.
In mere seconds, Adam and Lute were in the same room with her.
“Now let’s clear things up”, - Adam said, thoughtfully pressing his index fingers together and pointing them at Charlie: “This hotel of yours is all about redemption and you babying sinners and stuff, right? Now tell me, why would I want to get involved in all this? Hmmm?”.
Charlie finally lost control of her extremely loaded colon, and a loud fart slipped out of her, echoing in the room. Her eyes grew wide.
A moment that felt like an eternity passed by.
The princess expected both exterminators to start laughing at her, but they simply sat there, dumbfounded… and staring. And that empty silence somehow made her feel even worse.
“Um”, - Charlie squeaked: “I’m terribly sorry for that… I didn’t mean to…”.
“Wait…”, - Adam finally spoke: “So, those rumours about denizens of Hell getting this… farty disease… Were true?”, - he looked at Lute, who shrugged.
“Y-yes…”, - Charlie rubbed her arm, feeling like she wanted to sink through the floor: “They were… I'm.. sorry... about this”.
“Yikes”, - Lute said, grimacing.
“Well… Let’s follow up, everyone”, - Adam said dubiously, with a blank look: “About the hotel, I mean”.
At that moment he felt pressure in his bowels and fidgeted in his chair. “Stupid ribs”, - Adam thought discontentedly. But then he looked like a light bulb switched on in his head.
“I tell you what, sis! I’ll give you four tries at convincing me about joining the hotel myself. When you run out of those – it’s game over for you”, - Adam dramatically declared. Then he slouched in his chair, drumming his fingers on the table: “Go ahead”.
“Alright”, - Charlie inhaled and gave it her first shot: “If you try working at the hotel, it could become a valuable experience. Because being a commander of exterminators must have become old by now”.
Adam raised a leg and let out a deep wet fart. Now it was Charlie’s turn to stare at him dumbfounded.
“That’s a miss!”, - Adam said, unfazed: “I’m perfectly content with being an exterminator. I fucking LOVE it in fact!”, - he showed the rock hand sign: “Next!”.
Charlie sat still for a moment, still puzzled by the fact that Adam farted in her presence. Then she raised one eyebrow and said: “Okay. But still, you could consider broadening your career possibilities. Surely you have a trustful person to leave as a substitute…”.
Adam farted loudly again, startling Charlie. “A miss again! No, I don’t”, - he said: “I’m irreplaceable, and without me everything will fall apart, doll face. You have two more attempts to go”.
Charlie sighed, a bit angry now: “If you see the process of reforming sinners with your very own eyes, you’ll personally make sure that they can become better people. Because they really can!”.
Another fart came from Adam, signalizing that Charlie has failed to persuade him yet again. “Third miss”, - he said: “I’d never come down to this disgusting hell of yours to actually live there! Just being here right now, in this meeting room, is over the top! Stop fucking pulling my leg!”.
Adam watched Charlie fume and get red in the face and continued to give her a mocking smile. Lute meanwhile stood there, lips tightly shut and trembling, her cheeks puffing, as she struggled to hold back her laughter.
“Could you stop… passing gas, please?!”, - Charlie resented through gritted teeth.
“Why?”, - Adam spread his arms: “You ripped ass earlier, so why can’t I? It’s disrespect for disrespect, babe~”.
Charlie blinked, shocked by his bluntness, and a bright blush soaked her face.
“Come on, try one last time”, - Adam encouraged: “I can’t wait to gas it up more~ There’s plenty in my tank to offer!”.
Then the gas that he had already released, reached Charlie and hit her hard. She recoiled from the spicy stench of spoiled meat and covered her nose. Adam laughed crudely at that.
“Fuck, I can’t breathe!”, - Charlie groaned, tears in her eyes. Lute meanwhile was secretly inhaling, enjoying the smell.
“Eh, that’s how a real manly fart should be!”, - even though Adam was a bit flustered about the stench he created, he still acted cool: “It’s not a real deal unless it fills the whole room! Hahah!”.
“Fine”, - Charlie growled getting up and looming over the table: “How about this – you could try learning not to be such an insufferable jerk! I could surely help you with that in my hotel”, - she said venomously, having already given up on properly persuading him.
Her bent-over pose didn’t do her good as a huge fart burst out of her rear. The princess' demeanor changed from anger to frustration, and she groaned softly in shame.
“Oh yeah?”, - Adam fumed and bent over the table too, his face close to hers now.
“Who are you to judge who’s a jerk and who’s not, then?”, - he breathed out in anger: “You are defending sinners, for fuck’s sake!”.
With that, Adam let loose a huge fart, which made him bite his lower lip and look a bit embarrassed as well.
Suddenly, Adam’s stomach started growling very loudly. He pulled back, held it with both hands, and doubled over, moaning. “Uh, you okay?”, - Charlie asked carefully.
“Sir…?”, - Lute said, touching her boss’ shoulder.
Then a very large fart exploded out of Adam’s behind, lasting for about 12 seconds and sounding like a duck drowning. It got wetter and wetter every second, Adam froze, staring down at his stomach in disbelief. Charlie drew back and froze too, not believing what was going on.
When the release ended, Adam whispered: “W-what the fuck?... Did this ALL really come out of me?!”.
“I guess… you’re not okay after all”, - Charlie awkwardly said, fanning the air to get his thick fumes away from her nose.
Then both Adam and Charlie noticed that Lute was holding her growling belly too. After that Lute unexpectedly (for herself, primarily) ripped a fart, adding her gases to the already vile atmosphere of the room.
“Lute!”, - Adam gasped: “You too?!”.
Lute blushed, her back straightened and stiff. “I... I think it’s time to end this meeting. It’s not going anywhere at this rate”, - she said hastily.
“R-right”, - Adam stammered: “Let's call it quits before we all fucking suffocate here”.
“It’s too much already even for me”, - Lute grumbled, holding her nose, a croaky bubbly fart blasting out of her ass. Adam gave her a weird look. Lute blushed more, realizing she had almost revealed her attraction to his gas.
Both exterminators then soared up, preparing to fly off, but then they slowed down to look at Charlie.
“So, since you failed to persuade me about this hotel shit of yours again…”, - Adam said: “…tough luck, doll! Expect us in six months, as we promised you two days ago! Have a good time preparing for that!”. Adam then laughed so hard that he farted. He stopped laughing and looked uneasy again.
“And don’t you dare pester us ever again”, - Lute came to his aid, looming threateningly over Charlie: “Or else you might just hear about the extermination date shifting three months earlier”.
“Yeah!”, - Adam exclaimed, pointing at Charlie: “Or we might strike the very next day even! Why not?”, - he smiled at Lute, and she nodded with a cruel smile of her own. But then another fart burst out of her, ruining the moment.
They both bolted upwards, and clouds erupted all over the place, blowing Charlie’s hair back again. She was left alone in a gas-filled smelly room.
“That was the weirdest meeting I’ve ever had in my whole life”, - she slowly said out loud and then shouted, throwing her hands in the air: “What the actual hell just happened?!”
*****************************************************
Adam and Lute landed in front of the Heavenly gates.
“What is wrong with us?”, - Lute panicked, her butt releasing a series of small popping farts. She cringed from the acridity of her own gas.
“Why the fuck are you asking me?”, - Adam cried out: “I don’t know!”. A powerful fart shot out of him, fluttering the back of his robe.
‘F-fuck, now that’s just nasty”, - Adam grumbled, crossing his arms: “It’s not like my usual gas! I never rip ass THIS much!”, - annoyed, he wafted his gas away from his face.
“Could it be…”, - Lute said, realization dawning upon her: “We have the same disease as Hell’s denizens?”, - she clutched her head with both hands, an expression of dismay on her face.
“That’s impossible”, - Adam frowned and waved at her dismissively: “Why would we have a disease that’s normal for those sinful rats? We’re in heaven, bitch! Something like that is NOT happening here! Not in a million of years!”.
“Y-yes, you’re right”, - Lute nodded with a blank look, entering the stage of denial as well: “We’re probably just especially gassy today. Just the both of us”.
‘How romantic”, - Adam joked sarcastically about her last words: “But yeah, us up here are so fucking lucky to not have all those lame diseases Hell is suffering from!~”.
When approaching the pearly gates, they noticed that Saint Peter was not there at his usual place. “That’s weird”, - Adam said: “Looks like the prick decided to skip work. The higher-ups will be super happy to hear about this”, - he beamed deviously, eager to tell on Peter.
The moment Adam and Lute walked into the heavenly city, they were met with the sight of everyone panicking. Some angels were openly weeping their eyes out.
Emily flew up to Adam and Lute, a grimace of fear on her cute face: “Guys! It’s a disaster! Everyone in Heaven is sick! A lot of angels are passing gas non-stop!”.
Emily let out a small squeaky poot and sank to the ground, blushing bright red and covering her mouth with both hands. “And I’m sick too”, - she squeaked, on the verge of tears.
Saint Peter approached them all, flying as fast as a rocket. As soon as he landed, a massive rumbling fart slipped out of him before he could say anything. He stammered something unintelligible in embarrassment before getting his thoughts together.
“Emily! The healing angels said they don’t know what to do about this… gastric disease!”, - he blurted out frantically: “They couldn’t heal me! Oh, how EVER am I supposed to be meeting people at the gates now? I’m Heaven’s face! I can’t be farting in everyone’s presence!”, - Peter dropped to his knees dramatically and pressed a hand to his forehead. With perfect timing, a wet fart blared out of his ass, making him go wide-eyed.
“Oh, shit….”, - Adam and Lute said in unison.