As promised, here is my honest comment and critique on your debute writing chapter:

A crisp and well written chapter, easy to follow even for a non native english speaker like me, without any lengths. You come straight to the point, where the story takes place, you root it allready into the franchise of SW with the mentioning of the Exogorth worm living in asteroids and the hint with the Cantina scenario from Sw 4 A new Hope.
I am looking forward to your next chapter. Garm Lykos appears to be an interesting young Shistavanen.

Well done job on the debute here.

Thank you so very much for the feedback. I’m happy to have made an interesting story with a good protagonist.

The start is allready interesting and leans towards action, so the course for the story is set allready.

It would be cool, if you could describe your Shistavanen hero a little bit more detailed in terms of design next time. But don´t do it as a simple description. It is far more interesting, if the description is embedded into the story. For example, he is described through the inner thoughts of a second person present at the moment or maybe he could pass a mirror or mirroring surface to take a look on himself for a moment, perhaps in a moment of reminiscing things, that have happened in the past.

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll add more descriptors in the future.