I like the shower of cherry blossoms. Though Zoff looks a bit like a human with a mouse head. Plus, the proportions are off. Torso's long, legs are short, head could be bigger; especially if you want to make him look young.

To be honest, it can be extremely difficult to transfer a character from your head into one on a page. I've only gotten it right on the first try a slim handful of times (Tasasha comes to mind. But I couldn't draw Lexi right for years!) My advice is to draw Zoff a lot. Do different poses and expressions. Really study drawings from other artists. Also, sketching the shapes out lightly in pencil first is helpful, then going over your lines with a darker pencil or pen once you're satisfied. You'll have to practice a lot and you'll have to erase a lot. Don't be discouraged. Your hand did not evolve for drawing; you have to train the muscles to do what you want them to.

"Though Zoff looks a bit like a human with a mouse head"
There is an in-story reason for that, hope that you might be able to pick up on it.

"Plus, the proportions are off. Torso's long, legs are short, head could be bigger; especially if you want to make him look young."
Well I wanted the proportions to be off because biologically he's in his mid teenage years and a person's body usually looks a bit awkward at this time but as
for the head being a bit small, I get that a lot, ...maybe it's some sort of unconscious instruction to myself not to get a swelled head
(Yes the pun sucks...)

<chuckle>

Oh, another tip. I dunno where you start from, but for me, the eyes of a character are so important I always draw them first and build everything else around them.