Atticus Lark’s Journal - Part 5

I’m afraid the inn’s too busy now for me to even properly write an entry - plus, it’s a little too hard to get my journal to stay level when I prop it up on my gut. T’aint an even surface, especially when I’ve been gaining at this rate!

My toes are a distant memory now, and if it weren’t for that handy enchantment Kahvie put on my work outfit, I’d rip through an apron every day - cutting back is out of the question… I deserve to flaunt how well I’ve done, and heck, I couldn’t stop eating even if I wanted to!

Tis’ impossible not to eat and drink yourself into oblivion and back when my star heroes are around - those blubbery behemoths have a downright corrupting influence on anyone who walks through the door! Just this last week, I saw a skinny weasel bard walk in at the start of the night, and by next dawn, he was flailing at the main door, his immense, marshmallow-like body firmly wedged! All it took was accepting one of Kahvie’s pastries, one of Kelton’s meals, and one of Jorji’s drinks… and his waistline was doomed forever! Luckily for him, we have loading bay doors now, for when he inevitably returns…

Swollen with pride, honor, and zeal (code for food, drink, and slime), those three lads have left their mark on the world - and I ain’t just talking about the craters they leave when they waddle about, har! Kelton, Kahvie, and Jorji should hardly be called adventurers anymore - they’re closer to glaciers at this point! Beyond enormous and slow-moving like those distant hunks of ice, different only in two key ways - their incredible warmth and uncanny softness!

Each one of their titanic rolls could work as a quality five bed, and hell, some patrons prefer em! At this point, even sleeping on the rolls is bound to swell yer gut… It’s like magic, I tell ya!

Kelton’s weight is mostly owed to his behemoth of a stomach, which spends most of its days swelling and spreading across my main floor. Jorji’s weight has gone to his sea of rolls sagging down from his front, his alarmingly inflated arms, or his mammoth of a rear! Both of those heroes-turned-lard-boulders are fairly matched in weight, if not proportion, but then there’s the last one…

Kahvie - oh, dearest Kahvie. I may have been put off by the beatnick’s flamboyance at first, but now, the Lamplighter is the joy of my day and spirit of my tavern. The best part is, unlike the other two, he rarely takes up any of the floor space! At some point, he learned to levitate… And thank God for that, since Kahvie’s bulk is in a league of its own! I’d reckon that greedy blob of a unicorn weighs about as much as the other two put together, now!

You’d never guess he was burdened by even a pound with how quick he moves around the place though - whatever magicks he has are most powerful! Of course, he’s the main culprit behind both the liveliness of my bar, what with his floating lights and all, AND the burst belts all around! He’s all too eager to provide free rounds of food and drink and magically deliver them into the maws of all of em’!

Bah… my hands are starting to cramp, trying to write while I eat. Tis’ impossible to stop now, since Kahvie won’t leave me alone with that enchanted plate of brownies… Oh, they are simply divine… If I’m ever able to reach my pen again, I may write further - but in the meantime, it’s time for me, the great Atticus Lark to live up to a more fitting nickname that Jorji gave to me - Fatticus Lard!

I’ll keep things brief to finish - those three lovely, lard-laden lads, are the best thing to have happened to me, my inn, and even this land - but they are the doom of all moderation, fitness, and dieting! So- in my book, they’re bloated balls of blessings all around! Now, onto the 3rd feast of the night!

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This commission is one of the most important pieces of art I think I’ve ever worked on. The post for this is coming very late, as I originally worked on this commission all the way back in 2021, but, after waffling back and forth on the story and presentation of it for literal years, it’s time to bite the bullet and get it out.

I present to you all… Dungeons and Doughballs. A story of three heroes and the inn they base themselves out of. Over the course of this sequence, the party, and the tavern they call home, will change drastically - especially when it comes to food, drink, and of course, fat!

This piece was commissioned by my dearest friend  Jiskcar, and it features his characters Kahvie and Jorji, as well as Kelton, a character I made from an old D&D game I ran with him and some other friends called Bountiful Bloodlines.

This commission was produced at a rocky time in my life, and although there were a lot of bumps in the road, both in regards to the commission itself and my life at the time, I think this piece represents some of the best of my work. I’ve never used quite the same shading style for another piece, mainly because of just how complex it is! I did learn an awful lot from this commission in particular though, it occupies a special place in my heart and has influenced my art greatly.

Posting this piece after all this time is a great kind of relief, and I’m very pleased to share it with all of you. I wanted to give a huge thank you to my friend  Jiskcar for commissioning me to illustrate such a wonderful idea, and I thank him also for being such a dear friend for all these years. He is a constant inspiration to me, and I’m not sure I’d still be in this fandom without him.

I hope you all enjoy this piece, and thank you for taking the time to read this.