Atticus Lark’s Journal - Part 2
Well, fate certainly has smiled on my lot! Those lads I mentioned before, the fruity unicorn, the cagey fox, and the cackling gnoll have waltzed through the door together not once, but twice since I last wrote! That alone would’ve been more business than I reckoned we’d ever have again.

Each time, they came to rest after chipping away at the sweet-smelling bandit hideout, loaded up with more loot to spend, and more “wondiferous” ingredients and foods he insisted on sharing. If only all this… “wondefiousness” hadn’t gone straight to my waistline… My shirt’s been straining more and more since our first encounter, but I find it hard saying no to that excitable equine!

I should’ve known there was a catch to all of that - I mean, all I needed to do was use my eyes and look at how that party was starting to round out, but, then again, tis’ only natural for a good innkeep to have a bit of weight to him, and Lord knows tis’better than starving!

The first time they came back, they were worn out, but looked more well-fed than I would’ve reckoned given their dungeoneering exploits - especially Kelton! Alongside Garum, Lucile and I, another traveler was in - a slippery weasel, and oh boy, did that belly catch the newcomer’s attention! Kelton looked like he was hiding a watermelon under his fur. While I normally wouldn’t notice him with how he stuck to the shadows, his awkward gait and taut belly gave him away the moment he waltzed in!

It was a gurgling, sloshing thing, but one that held itself high n’ proud! It stuck out like a sore thumb, and he’d need more than a shadow and a hood if he wanted to try blendin’ in again! His belches didn’t help neither - he always brought his fist up to stifle it too late. Something told me he’d get the hang of it before long.

I mentioned this to Jorji, who erupted into a bout of chucklin’, making Kelton blush as red as a cherry. Poor fox looked like he wanted to up and vanish! He very well may’ve, if Kahvie’s guffawing form hadn’t grabbed him from behind and gave his belly a furious shake. “What, this? You noticed our assassin’s Ample Apron?”

Jorji, between laughs, barked out, “It’s - hehe! - a fine- HAH! - piece o’ gear!”

Kelton tried again to shy away, nervously blurting out, “NO! No, it’s not armor, it’s just-”

Kahvie continued, grip firm, “It’s his first enchanted piece of armor! It gives the user an enormous appetite, terrific belly gurgles, and overwhelming aura of cuteness!”

I reckon Kelton would’ve screamed at this point, if it weren’t for the fact that Jorji forced a sprinkle-caked cookie into his mouth while Kahvie eagerly massaged his taut belly. The flavor, albeit stale, was enough to distract him when paired with the soothing rubs.

“Nomf! O- mrmph… Ohh…” The bloated fox said as he slowly melted into a stool, his belly pooling in his lap like butter on pancakes. Ah… pancakes… that’d be delicious right now… Since I can afford the groceries, maybe I should make some right no- Nevermind, back on topic!

While getting their friend some more refreshments, courtesy of my ale mixed with some of that “wondiferous” stuff, they explained that the source of the sweet smell in that hideout was a slime hive before the lair proper - one that Kelton stumbled into with his mouth open at just the wrong time! A big, sweet slime shoved its way into his mouth, knocking him out cold!

The other two fought their way back out, with a few smaller slimes worming their way in them too, although with Jorji, it sounds like he gobbled one up on purpose. After a short rest, enough for their foxy friend to wake up and digest a little, they decided to return to the inn - mainly to let Kelton blast through the five stages of grief for his woefully widened waistline.

That weasel I mentioned seemed to get a good chuckle out of the chaos, and thanked me for the… “fatass funnies” and mentioned telling some friends about this place. Apparently he assumed that I had something to do with this… If those friends do show up, maybe I won’t have to water down the beer so darn much!

Flash forward another day, and they all returned, with Jorji and Kahvie getting matching guts to go with Kelton’s! Apparently they felt a bit envious of his new look, and couldn’t resist “falling victim” to some slimes themselves! The hideout was, in the end, revealed to be directed by the infamous Delle Valle bandit clan who were developing some sort of scheme involving threats sent via fattening slimes.

These aspiring adventures managed to get the slimes to turn on their master, Joro Della Valle, and blimp him up into a much more manageable state! They promptly alerted the lone guard in our ghost town about the blobby bandit, who, after some futile attempts to roll a very fat rat away, resolved to put a set of iron bars on the entrance.

The crew even secured the bandit lord’s signature rose and swords as souvenirs, and were kind enough to mount them on my wall, as proof of their first adventuring achievement! It’s just a shame that Kahive’s valiant entrance was interrupted by his horn thunking against the beam - was quite a spectacle for our other patrons to see, especially with his newfound flab flying from the impact! He muttered something about being distracted by the taste of his new cigar, resolving that smoking wasn’t the habit for him.

Still, he couldn’t help but offer a round in celebration of the new trophy, much appreciated by all, including myself. I certainly don’t mind being paid for eating my own food! It’s a pleasure to host trophies again, far better than the dreary animal heads and that odd bee-thing on the wall… but I’m beginning to worry about that slime he brought in. He insisted it was a pet and necessary mascot for the team, which he proudly placed on a shelf.

Before I could protest, I had a bear hulk demanding a keg of ale - any ale! Thank the saints he didn’t care about the watering down… if anything, it just made him order more! I threw an extra log on the fire this evening in honor of all the new guests.

I overheard Garum muttering something about those “oafs spoiling the plan,” but he was overly focused on the special meal Kelton bought for him. It seems that the fox took a liking to him… or was there something more devious in the fox’s eyes when he brought him his dinner? And did Kelton swipe a rose from the half-rat when he wasn’t looking? And… did Garum always have a gut that round? Course, who am I to talk…

Seems like things are looking up for my little tavern… Eager to see what adventures this lot gets into next! I think I might add some of Kahvie’s suggestions to the menu - although the stowing away of his “pet” was a bit… peculiar. Hmmm… I‘ll think more about everything when I get to bed - after a midnight snack, that is.

—-

This commission is one of the most important pieces of art I think I’ve ever worked on. The post for this is coming very late, as I originally worked on this commission all the way back in 2021, but, after waffling back and forth on the story and presentation of it for literal years, it’s time to bite the bullet and get it out.

I present to you all… Dungeons and Doughballs. A story of three heroes and the inn they base themselves out of. Over the course of this sequence, the party, and the tavern they call home, will change drastically - especially when it comes to food, drink, and of course, fat!

This piece was commissioned by my dearest friend  Jiskcar, and it features his characters Kahvie and Jorji, as well as Kelton, a character I made from an old D&D game I ran with him and some other friends called Bountiful Bloodlines.

This commission was produced at a rocky time in my life, and although there were a lot of bumps in the road, both in regards to the commission itself and my life at the time, I think this piece represents some of the best of my work. I’ve never used quite the same shading style for another piece, mainly because of just how complex it is! I did learn an awful lot from this commission in particular though, it occupies a special place in my heart and has influenced my art greatly.

Posting this piece after all this time is a great kind of relief, and I’m very pleased to share it with all of you. I wanted to give a huge thank you to my friend  Jiskcar for commissioning me to illustrate such a wonderful idea, and I thank him also for being such a dear friend for all these years. He is a constant inspiration to me, and I’m not sure I’d still be in this fandom without him.

I hope you all enjoy this piece, and thank you for taking the time to read this.