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Headed off to TFF, but here's this week's page. May do a bit more with the shading whence I return, but for now I've gotta go. Enjoy!
This is a collaborative comic between Rukis and Alectorfencer. Red Lantern will be premiering weekly right here on FA, and at http://www.red-lantern.net/ . The free version of the comic will tell the entire story. The eventual printed release will have extra content, and adult content.
This comic is rated R for adult language, adult situations, violence, and themes of war, prostitution, and slavery.
rukis is responsible for all writing, and character artwork/color
alectorfencer is responsible for all background elements, scenery, and landscapes
Headed off to TFF, but here's this week's page. May do a bit more with the shading whence I return, but for now I've gotta go. Enjoy!
This is a collaborative comic between Rukis and Alectorfencer. Red Lantern will be premiering weekly right here on FA, and at http://www.red-lantern.net/ . The free version of the comic will tell the entire story. The eventual printed release will have extra content, and adult content.
This comic is rated R for adult language, adult situations, violence, and themes of war, prostitution, and slavery.
rukis is responsible for all writing, and character artwork/color
alectorfencer is responsible for all background elements, scenery, and landscapes
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 891 x 1188px
File Size 1.96 MB
Listed in Folders
Drakes!! Man, if they breathe fire, both sides are done. Hrm, but what if they're in league with the Cathazra. I bet the Mataa sail market is quite the racket. "Oh, drakes tore up your sails, huh? Guess you're stuck here 'til you give us ... oh, say ... ONE BILLION DOLLARS! (pinki to mouth) Muahahahaaa! Muahahaaaaa! Muahahahahaa!!!"
I think they'll need something other than swords to fight against drakes. After all the drakes could just attack from the air by dropping things and such. It'll be interesting to see how the crew will fight back. (Bows? Firearms? Cannons? Nets?)
Plus it'd be real bad if the drakes went for their sails to disable them--so that those pursuing them could catch up....
Plus it'd be real bad if the drakes went for their sails to disable them--so that those pursuing them could catch up....
This is a really engaging story and everything and I'm really liking it so far, but this is the second page in a row that took me two attempts to read correctly due to being confused by the speech balloon layout/order. Instincts are to read left-to-right and also top-to-bottom, so when the line you intend to be read first is slightly above the one you intend to be read second but also way to the right, it's... unclear. For the last couple of pages, I've basically trial-and-errored it, where if I read the lines in a certain order and it makes no sense to me, I try again in a different order, until the "oh, there we go" reaction happens. I'm certainly capable of puzzling it out, and will keep doing so because I am interested in the story and all, but... you know... from a design/layout perspective, you probably should consider making the dialogue order less ambiguous.
Basically, the main problem seems to occur whenever you have two characters and the one on the right is speaking first, since a reader with a left-to-right, top-to-bottom reading order gets mixed signals when the intended starting point in the upper right corner. Basically, you need to make sure in cases like that that the person on the right's dialogue is directly above that of the person on the left so that there isn't any confusion, which you actually have done to great effect before. Compare panel one of this page (the most confusing example I've seen yet) or the bottom left panels of page 18 (not as bad, but working it out still wasn't quite as instant for me as in other panels) to the second panel (upper right corner) of page 17 the character on the right is speaking first again but this one is perfectly clear and unambiguous; more dialogue layouts should strive to be like that.)
This is very late, but I'd like to point out a few things that may help. I read the last dialog bubble as a shout. But when I tried to make a connection between the bubble and the artwork, I feel as though the expression of fear as well as a warning shout wasn't pushed as hard as it should have been. He would be yelling and I feel that his mouth should be open a bit wider. Comics kinda have the same need to express actions the way you would while storyboarding and creating an animatic.
I feel that a lot of your drawings need more of a push with expressions! It will really help your comic read, so that no matter how someone reads - text then picture or picture then text, it will read just as effectively.
I feel that a lot of your drawings need more of a push with expressions! It will really help your comic read, so that no matter how someone reads - text then picture or picture then text, it will read just as effectively.
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