oh look its a picture of a creature forming a logical defying circle with its own body structure, accomidated by some heartfelt emotional or psychological babble

wow im such a fucking tool

Well anyway, since i said its coming uhm. Shilo. yeeeah. I can't for the life of me draw her in any of my hedonistic bullshit like sex or whatever. Like its seriously mentally disgusting to do that to her. And what i draw of her i feel like im connecting a lot to my childhood. Love, fun, butterflies, video games being something fantastic and unknown, not just a hobby. Stories interested me, and I didn't care about the silly sarcastic screaming-prone anime bullshit. Thinking back to how excited I was to have my first sip of ramune ever. Life's kinda heavy right now. I wouldn't have made it anywhere if it weren't for my boy, Fay, or my parents.

but lately something's really been bothering me more than normal i guess. no job, no socializing locally, fuck i dont even care anymore thats what bugs me. I used to find the idea of going out in town and just sitting on a bench in the middle of a park the best thing ever. Being "alone" from home and the net, and being out with people. well I'm not a minor anymore so I can't go to Youth Outreach anymore, where a lot of the socializing I had as a kid was. like if i were still in school i could go visit but nooope. Man I just need to do something social to get my butt up. I feel so mopey. and by social i mean like seriously. Roadtrip/field trip.

I wanna go somewhere with people I barely know, trusting that we're going for simple fucking casual relaxation, not like "oh here, we have no money and now we're stranded or" fuck i dont know



there should be a beach convention

we should all go to the beach

thats what i want

the beach

yeeeeah

=(