Hi guys! It's been a long time, I think this has been the longest I've spent inactive (around 3 months...wow...) and finally I feel much better and comfortable to share my personal situation with you ( psychologically )
"Why was I offline for so long?"
Where to start? The beginning of this year was complete chaos for me, I thought it couldn't be worse but... yes, life tried to destroy me, but I won! Or at least Ii try to keep going~

1- "Bella"
This is the most important reason that I stop posting (because I have been working despite everything that happened to me, I have about 30 pending drawings to upload)
Oh wow, I really don't know how to start with this, it's hard for me, well guys.... Crystalberry is again made up of just me, Oliver
When I started creating my fursona (2019) I was still in high school, was afraid of the future and I wanted to ensure my life being productive in case I didn't get into university, I started to selling commissions and it really worked for me, just a few days of my graduation (June 2019) I was very established and happy to be welcomed into such a nice fandom, I had practiced my style a lot and I felt that my fursona would look good with a "partner", that's how Bella's design was born (FIRST BELLA SKETCH), as time went by I didn't draw her again until I talked to Evan again
Who is Evan? My ex bf
I met him in high school and at that time he had a girlfriend (A) and I had mine (F) we had stopped talking when we graduated (his gf was very insecure and asked him to stop talking to everyone) and because of my best friends who are a couple ( Tona and Has ) we met again after 2 years (2021) since he first day we met we had a very nice connection, we were both single and the relationship quickly became a couple, we were in the middle of the pandemic, online studies was horrible for Evan and I was still trying to get into university, he felt unproductive for not studying or not have a job so I decided to support him and he became my right hand for 2 years of drawing linearts and coloring.................. yes, Evan was Bella
Actually our relationship worked very well, we had moved to live together, traveled, went to festivals/concerts, and I even got him to go to university again, I thought he was the person I would spend my life, but... he just changed, started to be very abusive, to be extremely jealous and possessive of me, started to stop supporting me with work but he demanded money/loans, he even didn't give me any linearts/coloring for 1 month, sometimes delivered his work that I had previously paid for it, there was a notable decline in terms of professionalism in delivery time that to this day I try to recover...My best friends showed me evidence of text and voice messages where he spoke badly about me behind my back, was in charge of making me look like I was exploiting him at work, said that I was cheating on him with more boys or girls, he referred to my physique in very rude ways and even tried to get me away from my best friends (friends relationship for more than 7 years) with more lies; godamn he came to lie to me that he had been 4ssault3d, b3aten and more sick sh1t but he was physically fine and as if nothing had happened, he did not want me to mention this to anyone (to his family, Friends, etc about the situation, suspiciously), his story had no sense and it was impossible for me not to approach to my best friends to ask if they knew anything about it, my best friend asked me when and at what time it had happened, as soon as I gave him the information, he simply said "he's lying to you, he was with me at that time and the most suspicious thing is that he didn't want you to mention anyone else" and that was the final straw, why? Because a week before my mom had been a victim of 4ssault and he knew it, the fact that he lied so blatantly having knowledge of that made me angry and I complained to him but he made me feel guilty wanting to commit su1cid3 if I left him and for other personal issues, I was tired and decided to end the relationship because it simply wasn't healthy, the situation didn't end well at all, I took him out of work, my house, and my social circle 3 months ago, what hurts me a lot today is having lost his brother (B) his brother's girlfriend (M) and his best friend (G) really appreciated their friendship, (because of them I put off a lot of shit from Evan but it wasn't right) it's normal that they supported or only listened to the version he gave of our separation, (he is very good at lying and convincing) I was able to talk a bit with B and he understands but in the end he is his brother and we made it off, I couldn't talk to M and G but well...
He also tried to take Bella's design as his own but as I mentioned earlier, I created Bella and LENDED her the design to make her feel part of Crystalberry but here I come to explain that Bella is my creation, he can't just claim her as yours later of everything...
I have suspicions that he is resentful and has taken advantage of using Bella's role as a woman to speak baddly of me with some clients but I'm not really sure...if you have received questionable messages from him...well...
As a conclusion to the terrible person that he is and the damage he did to me, he left my life with a terrible breach of trust, breaking my personal owned, stealing, jealousy, manipulation and lies.

2- My pet
Evan and I broke all relationship ties a few days before my 22nd birthday (tremendous shit), my best friends never left me alone, I am very grateful to them and to another person who is very special to me G, I had a nice birthday despite everything but..... the next day one of my pets had an accident from which I still have not recovered, he was a small male guinea pig that I get like a gift me last year, He was quite full of energy and adorable but one afternoon I found his little body stuck in his hay dispenser, he passed away with a desperate little face that hurts a lot just to remember it, I feel enormously powerless for not having saved him in time, please if you have guinea pigs o small pets as a rodent and you have this dispenser model ( HERE ) remove the grid! It is for the safety of your little ones! He was very special to me and really affected me psychologically so I paused my work even more...💔

3- Trust
Seriously, it seems like this year he wants my mental health to be mashed potatoes, but... I'll finish this maybe another time, but I've known a guy since 2018, he was adorable, cute, practically talked to him EVERY DAY and I could hold my hands on fire for him, we entrusted personal things to each other, he was in my good and bad moments, he was just an amazing person but he was not what I expected, he lied to me all the time and was behind me with other intentions, to this day I'm still affected by him and I can't believe that this wonderful person is super fake and it seems that he never existed.....

4- Mental health
After everything mentioned above, you can know what happened to me mentally, I was devastated, without motivation and without the desire to move on, what I say is quite strong but you have to understand the situation I was in: anger, stress, anxiety, impotence and disappointment started to destroy my stomach and I already had physical consequences of discomfort, even so I did my best to try to keep in touch with all of you guys, with the commissions and working alone as I started, please guys, take care of your mental health, which is an issue seriously and they must give priority to something as delicate as mental health, I started going to therapy because I have to put certain things in order that torment my life with traumas and insecurities

5- Technical problems
Days after Evan left, he destroyed the graphics tablet he was working with this ( MODEL) and the power supply of my PC exploded....., luckily all the hard drive, files and important parts The internals of my PC are fine, I just had to change the power supply and the issue was fixed! But that bleed my savings lol but what a damn time I take to pause my work 🙃
Some customers did get to let them know about this situation~

I had seriously thought about leaving all social media and fandom but I can't, all of you are wonderful and I really want to keep going because giving life to your precious fursonas, scalies, avians, or directly creating them makes me very happy, this is what I want ...💖
Thank you to those who are still here supporting me, all of you have become a very special part of my life and a part of my motivation to keep going, ly guys
I will proceed to reactivate this account, I will not give up .....:')

NOTE: please, because of all the above, I don't want you to see Bella's character in a bad way, her design is simply that......her image
I will continue to use her as Oliver's partner 💙

An apology for the grammar, my main language is Spanish lol