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The only reason I am even uploading this, is because this pic is the first Ever digital picture that I have made, and I need, for the sake of documentation, leave it here. The marching gears of time will, surely, bury this picture one day, but at least it deserves to be seen.
In fact, let me use this picture to ramble a little, because looking at it I start remembering how I felt back then.
It was a sunny summer day of 2012, my first tablet was on its way to me. I will learn to hate that stupid piece of tech and think that digital art was simply not for me, but I did not know that yet. I felt hopeful that, finally, I will start tackling art "seriously", even though I had no idea what serious even meant back then. I did not know I will live through multiple promises to myself that I will stop drawing, did not know that I will enroll into an art school and then art university later on. I was oblivious that art, like a thin silver thread, will bind my life to so many beautiful - and awful - people. That it will become the reason I will attempt killing myself multiple times, and the reason to live right before I did something very, very stupid. Art allowed me to find my partners that made my life heaven and then hell, then art separated me from them. That I will start as a self-proclaimed mecha artist, then devolve into drawing foot fetish art bc I liked the attention, then slowly start crawling back. Earn respect, lose respect, earn it back. Cry because of art, and laugh because of it too.
I was sitting in front of my computer, putting together this piece with a mouse, vector by vector, thinking that this edgy dumpsterfire was the coolest fucking thing on earth. Invader Zim was playing on TV, but I paid no attention - I have already seen that episode. About that kid who is constantly happy bc of a machine stuck through his head, that one? Yea. Vector by vector, I had no idea what I was doing, but all I felt was hope. Hope that art will be something I will be doing more in the future after my tablet is there. It will be so fun, I thought to myself. I had no fucking idea art will become my entire life.
In fact, let me use this picture to ramble a little, because looking at it I start remembering how I felt back then.
It was a sunny summer day of 2012, my first tablet was on its way to me. I will learn to hate that stupid piece of tech and think that digital art was simply not for me, but I did not know that yet. I felt hopeful that, finally, I will start tackling art "seriously", even though I had no idea what serious even meant back then. I did not know I will live through multiple promises to myself that I will stop drawing, did not know that I will enroll into an art school and then art university later on. I was oblivious that art, like a thin silver thread, will bind my life to so many beautiful - and awful - people. That it will become the reason I will attempt killing myself multiple times, and the reason to live right before I did something very, very stupid. Art allowed me to find my partners that made my life heaven and then hell, then art separated me from them. That I will start as a self-proclaimed mecha artist, then devolve into drawing foot fetish art bc I liked the attention, then slowly start crawling back. Earn respect, lose respect, earn it back. Cry because of art, and laugh because of it too.
I was sitting in front of my computer, putting together this piece with a mouse, vector by vector, thinking that this edgy dumpsterfire was the coolest fucking thing on earth. Invader Zim was playing on TV, but I paid no attention - I have already seen that episode. About that kid who is constantly happy bc of a machine stuck through his head, that one? Yea. Vector by vector, I had no idea what I was doing, but all I felt was hope. Hope that art will be something I will be doing more in the future after my tablet is there. It will be so fun, I thought to myself. I had no fucking idea art will become my entire life.
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 465 x 698px
File Size 59.8 kB
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