Great writing John! I'm so happy to learn my art has inspired you to write a whole story..! Hopefully everything works out for mark and Eddie in the end. ^^

I dunno... Maybe it will be single story about them.

Hmmm, that's a powerful concept you introduce into the story immediately, that the parents of Mark's romantic interest are against their mating. That is a very difficult hurdle to overcome, especially at such a young age. This sets up the story quickly with adversity mechanics.

I like the concept of what you have done here, crying in the rain. It makes it impossible to determine if the wetness on Mark's face is his tears or the downpour of rain. But, the torrential fall of rain is exactly how Mark actually FEELS in the moment of his viscous breakup.

Haha, I love how the weasel "hums" in response to the first park of Mark's story. "Go on." hahahahaha.

Luckily it seems this Weasel knows more about breaking up based on sexuality issues than Mark originally anticipates. That's a good plot advancement.

That's disturbing that Mark says "You saved my life" when thanking Eddie for hanging out with him. Does that imply that Mark was contemplating suicide before meeting Eddie at random chance? That's a horrifying concept for sure, yikes... If that really is the case, maybe the rain storm is a poetic metaphor and symbolism for the decision to end his life, but he was saved by a chance meeting with Eddie. That's actually really, really scary...!!

Mark being on the threshold and precipice of possibly killing himself, it makes the entire story that much more thrilling to comprehend, but this is just my personal interpretation of the characters.

Hmm, honestly... I did not lay such an option, but thanks to your analysis of my mini story, I was able to find a way to edit the text. Indeed, Mark thought about suicide, but I did not turn it on, so as not to injure anyone. And I think to continue this story, but first I will rewrite this one.

I mean, that's how I interpreted it, the mournful sadness in his thoughts and pessimistic worldview for his own personal future. Maybe I was going too far but I think it adds a certain level of fatal realism to the story. According to research from The Trevor Project, 50 percent of homosexual teenagers consider attempting suicide at least once between the ages of 13 - 17. That harrowing statistic makes the tangible possibility that Mark is thinking about ending his life due to the difficulties of living with such an assigned sexuality.

It makes the story deeper and more complex, in my opinion. It gives off a very 'noire' feel to it, gritty and realistic.