Someday, I want to be a dad.

Okay well, I know that's impossible by "traditional" means but that's how I've always felt. More paternal than maternal- wanting to protect, guide, encourage and be the strength of the family etc etc cliche bullshit but it's how I grew up..

So laddiiieesss, I like kids :D

This was inspired by Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are when K.W. (or, the duck footed monster) tearfully says to Max "I'll eat you up, I love you so." It's not necessarily vore, nor do I like vore, I think it's probably the sweetest term of endearment.
There's a saying in my family "I love you to pieces". I used to say that to a lot of past friends/lovers and it'd turn heads because it's such a strange sort of idea of affection. It simply means, each part of you is loved. Like "eat you up, I love you so" would perhaps be construed as a compliment only because of how highly people (and monsters) regard food. Or some analytical bull shit @_@

Also, I took a very dark turn on my mountain path of life last year and one of the only things to get me out of a funk such as that is often to picture my future which hopefully includes the pitter patter of little paws. I just find having kids to be a very positive idea when one may be feeling like "This is it. I'm never moving forward from this point because it's SO bad."
That simply, is just not true.

This song is also about pushing past boundaries and traditional norms. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. Taking this path on my mountain journey of life, it's definitely breaking new terrain I never thought it would and this gives me a sense of knowing that everything will be all right.

I may not be loved by others now, but someday (I hope) I know my kids will.

And really, that's all that matters.

Inspired by "Wiegenlied, Op. 49, No. 4 (or otherwise known as Brahms Lullaby)", By Johannes Brahms and "I'm Yours" by Jason Meraz, I humbly submit for your listening pleasure:

Eat you Up



I know that we had you far too soon
your arriving cry awoke the moon
and as she rose we held our breath
because we knew we'd love you to death

Despite the scorn and persistent glares
I held you proud I did not care
She reassured me not to feed their demand
for those hate a love they don't understand

O' silent nights and bed time woe
We'll eat you up we love you so
easy breathing and not a peep
but the wounds from words, causes me to weep

Let your lips brush along my eyes,
adjust to darkness, illuminate the skies
make my heart beat as calm as yours
shield me from the windows, lock the doors

I can't understand why we conform this way,
following rules of a debt we cannot pay
responding in defense is the righteous reaction
though in reflection , we cannot believe our own actions

Holding her is like cradling our hearts
We've kept them inside, they formed apart
but now we've embraced,created a new
a lil' bit of me and a lil' bit of you

So we'll be fine, you mumble in doze
kissing her forehead, cheeks like a rose
I watch you with love, peace settles my mind
because those who search for love will have more to find