I think I might have already said this once before, but I had originally planned for Alana to be much more of an adversary to Ciara than she turned out to be. She was never supposed to actually be a villain. Even then I had it in mind that she was sort of Ciara's not-so-evil twin. Alana is what Ciara might have become if she'd stayed at home instead of being sent to Oseille. But that was the point. Just because someone is working against you that doesn't mean they're necessarily evil. Of course, I ended up making her more like Ciara's big sister because that was just the dynamic that worked better for them. But I do like her sense of mystery here, and the idea that she could be somebody to watch out for if she decided she didn't like you.

I remember you liked the marketplace scene from last time, too. I wish I'd done more with it than I did. Oseille is set up as a market town so much, and I just kind of glossed over it for the most part. But maybe I can bring some of that back with a few of the short stories I've been planning to write for Ciara and Niamh's lives after the war. I love the little jewelry mouse. I've never been able to think up a name for her, but she's one of my very favorite minor characters in the book. As for Niamh, I thought it was important to establish that she could be every bit as stubborn, and tough, as Ciara, and that she truly did love Ciara, as early as I could. I would imagine that some readers would find it hard to believe that a rabbit could go off on a quest like this, but I'm very much a believer in the idea that love can overcome all obstacles. Sappy as that might sound. That and I kind of liked the comparison between Niamh's standing up to her grandmother to Ciara's constant fighting with Deirdre. And even Niamh's attitude toward Deirdre later in the book. Poor Mom, she doesn't get a break from anyone!

keep em coming this is a great story !! ',..,'

I shall, and thanks so much!

I loved that chapter. Much longer than the previous ones, but it didn't feel like it. The sparky dialogue was, again, the highlight for me. I like Fiachra, I have to say, even if he might not quite be in the right about this one. Good for Niamh, though. Not that it surprises me that a rabbit would make the choice she did (but that may just be me!) but although I did always think she'd go where Ciara went, I wasn't certain how sure of herself she'd be. I'm glad she was so certain of herself when it came to it, though.

I really wasn't sure about Alana. I don't mean that there was anything at all awkward with her portrayal, just that she seems a very ambiguous character. Either she's going to turn out to have a heart of gold or she's going to be a hugely dangerous spy. Possibly both. Or neither. But something tells me that she's not just in there as a bit of incidental colour to fill up the tavern.

I'm trying, incidentally, not to read Eliki's comments on these chapters, since he's obviously paid more attention to this story than I have the first time round so is going to be mentioning things I'd forgotten. As I said, I'm trying my best to read this as if for the first time. And greatly enjoying it!

I'm so glad you liked it, and I'm very happy you liked the dialog. I thought it actually worked fairly well myself, and I enjoyed writing it. That's a rarity for me, when it comes to dialog. I'm glad you like Fiachra too. He was a bit tough to balance out, so that he came across as a concerned older brother rather than just a jerk. He's a bit overbearing at times, but he means well. As for Niamh, that was another delicate balance and I'm not sure I always got it right all the way through the book. I wanted her to be recognizably more cautious than Ciara about things, because I think any rabbit would be a bit more likely to think carefully about her next move. But it was important to establish that just because she's a rabbit, that doesn't mean she's scared of her own shadow.

Since you mentioned that you're trying not to read Eliki's comments (and presumably my responses to those comments) I won't say much about Alana at the moment, except that she does come back and you do find out more about her. But that uncertainty you felt about her was kind of what I was aiming for. I tried to keep all of my characters from being too black and white as much as I could, but I think that, here at the beginning, Alana is one of the most successfully ambiguous characters I've ever managed to create.

Thanks again for reading, and all of your comments! I really do appreciate it. And it's great to know you're enjoying it!


Incidentally, I do plan to read the stories you've put up before too awful long. From what I remember of the story you were working on a while ago you're a very good writer and I'm actually looking forward to seeing what you've done with those stories. Thanks for putting them up, too.

Oh, I definitely get the "concerned older brother" thing, since that I have plenty of experience of myself. I know I've been overprotective in similar ways myself, so I have a lot of sympathy for Fiachra. One of the reasons I liked the way you wrote him there was that I could see myself reacting in a somewhat similar way to some of the things that were going on.

and presumably my responses to those comments

Correct. I'm not worrying so much about other people's comments, though, since in general those Eliki and you exchange are much the most detailed, and in any case many of the other readers presumably have no knowledge at all of the rest of the story yet.

Thanks again for reading, and all of your comments!

You're very welcome. It's very enjoyable, and despite what you've said about perhaps doing some things differently if you'd been writing it now, I still think what I've read is very good. I'll probably carry on reading at about a chapter per day on average, though I doubt I'll stick to that absolutely religiously.

Incidentally, I do plan to read the stories you've put up before too awful long.

Thank you, and if and when you are able to do that, I'd be more than interested to hear any thoughts. I've got absolutely no requirement for those thoughts all to be positive, though. It's not a perfect story by any means, and the first part at least is eight years old now, so it's hardly going to upset me.

the story you were working on a while ago

Ah, you mean A Leap in the Dark? Well... this is a bit of a scoop, but that's not actually dead. It was, but now I have this place available I'm thinking again. I got up to chapter six as far as published chapters went, but actually I've written chapters seven and eight as well. No promises, but you never know.