Dear me:

I know what you have been through. You suffered, you cried, you have experienced emotional lost and at the end of the year you were at the bottom of the bottom. Luckily, thanks to the help of people you could survive. These things that took place opened some old and new wounds, and had consequences. Some of those consequences will heal over time and have solution. Others won´t be the same. The path won´t be easy, but you have to really learn the most important lesson of life: love yourself. You are a wonderful soul who deserves to be loved and cherished as much as you love your friends. You love big, really big, and you must be really sure who you want to love big. If some of those cherished friends react in a way you don´t expect, remember that everyone has their background and traumas and maybe you have to stop listening that voice inside your head and say the opposite: you aren´t guilty of what traumas people have when they throw a fuckton of negative energy at you.

It hurts. It really hurts. But you have to breathe, understand, and forgive their reactions while also not blaming yourself for that. As people say, "sh*t happens", and that goes with life. If that friend isn´t by your side when you are down, maybe it´s because he wasn´t much of a friend that you thought. Because, Joma, FRIEND is a strong word with a strong meaning. Don´t call anyone a friend until you have analysed who truly stays by your side at the bad moments. And if you expected someone to be by your side and they aren´t... maybe it´s time to let go. Not with pain. Not with anguish. Just let go like a butterfly from your hand and a smile on your face.

Don´t hesitate to ask for help. Don´t bottle up things until they explode. Believe the compliments the people tell you because you are way more worth than you can think. Different people from different countries have told you the same: you are caring, you are intelligent, you are sweet, you are basically a good person. Trust those people and change that inner dialogue that is always destroying you. This time, you have to truly change, because you almost faced death. And now you are facing how people that you thought they loved you don´t love you as much. You lost your partnet. You lost closed friends. This musn´t happen again and what we have to do is go up. This time, December will be much better than this last one. Why? Because you deserve it.

Let go of the pain. Like a butterfly. With a smile on your face. Accepting that it happened and you learned for next time. Accepting with love and empathy towards yourself.

I love you a lot, Joma. From the bottom of my heart. You can get through this and brighter times will come. As someone who still cares about you said: "Your new opportunity is like a blank painting. And the paints you have are precious"

Fulfill those new years resolutions, you promised yourself to do it. Be proud of yourself because you will be able to fulfill them. You still have a lot of people who love you to help you move forward.

Love you a lot. A thousand. A million. Infinite.
Joma

Pd: Thanks for for the commission. I love working with you and hope to work more in the future.