I… I try my best to be happy with what I have… I try. But sometimes my efforts just aren't enough. The result… well. ._. It isn't pretty.

What a beginning to the year… Things were just fine. Then I got back home earlier and something happened. I apologize… I'm hysterical right now. I… I can't help it… I just can't. Everything falls apart and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You can only watch and listen as every piece you once held dear falls away… It's just not fair. I know life isn't fair… I know. But why? Raiyou doesn't understand… ._.

I wish I could shut out the rest of the world, and I'd never have to hear or see the things I do. My head never stops, and neither does the world.

Certain things stick with you for life, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot get rid of them. They follow you around silently as if they were your own shadow, jumping out when you least expect it. It still makes me squirm in pain and cry. Even after all these years, I'm still traumatized. It will never go away. I'll always hear it, I'll always see it, and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I hope I die young.

I drew this because I needed to get it out of my system and stop thinking for a while. When I get like this, I can't help it… I can't eat. I can't sleep… I'll throw things. I'll make noise. I'll go out and do dangerous things I definitely shouldn't do. I have to do anything other than think about it. -.-

And please don't ask what. Please. It hurts too much. Raiyou has been through enough already… There's too much at stake… too much expected of him. He just needs a hug right now. ._.'