This is a poem and yet...it's like it's telling a story through as few words as possible...

I have failed

The gate of my shame is open before me

The doom of the world pouring forth from its darkness

But while I may have failed myself

And the hope of my people

I refuse to let this world suffer for it

That is very beautiful. "A realization of one's own shortcoming, yet a determination to set things right," perhaps? It makes me think of an anti-climatic section of a story where it seems like "what should have been" didn't happen, and a lot of people are progressively suffering as a result.

I love climax/anti-climax in a story/story like context.

I pull forth the sword of my greatest sorrow from within

And slash at the unleashed blackness

The doom of this world shrieks at the touch of my blade

Not able to bare the painful light

Step by bloody step I push the blackness back through the gate

Sensing its eventual loss the doom of this world turns its attention fully onto me

Rending me limb from limb... tearing the wings of creation from my body

Making no effort to defend myself I stoically push forward

Until the gate just recently opened is once again closed

My sword clatters to the ground while I collapse into a bloody heap

Death quickly creeping into my once Undying flesh

Determination to press onward, yet inadequacy to bring about the world's salvation? And excrutiating pain as a result? That is very beautiful...

But as the once eternal light of creation fades from me

As I answer the sweet sirens call of oblivion

Fate interposes its ever enigmatic hand

In the unlikely tongue of a small canine spirit

Licking the blood from my shattered face

Offering something I thought was forever lost to me

The tiny ever flickering light of Hope

Saved through a divine miracle?

In any case, this is a very strong piece of poetry. It makes me want to read it again, just to get the right feeling deep down. It's also very inspiring.

Like all poems this can have different meanings to different people... I try not to tell too much of my thoughts and feelings beyond the poem itself for this reason. I will say the the main character is not human or mortal but a being I call one of the Undying, sorta semi-divine creatures who's purpose was to help the creator make this world and maintain it...

I am very glad you found it so inspiring, that is very high praise indeed :)

It has that kind of "compressed desperation" about it that makes for a really epic section of a story, where everything seems to be going wrong, and the character most focused attempts to right what was wrong only to come to a daunting realization of his or her own inadequacy and is yet given hope from an unprecedented source...--Grounds for a really epic narrative, and the kind that I would feel driven to read down to the last written word.

heh and I already have the story... I just don't have it written. I was a bit mean, I left out the few moments before the story when the protagonist opened the gate ;P

Read The Restless Pup here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4476282/ if you'd like to know some of the story from the perspective of the little canine spirit who gave the Undying one hope...

Nicely done, and interesting to hear it from the other prospective.

Thank you... maybe someday I'll write the whole thing from beginning to end.