"I have a special kind of dreams.
I won't say it's something like a nightmare, it's just that instead of horror, I feel a deep suffocating sadness.
And I always dream of one thing - my friends are dead.
Not the friends that I have on the Internet or in reality, but some distant, unreal ones. They die in the war, lose in battle and eventually disappear, you turn around - no one. But you heard them following you, sometimes you see their lifeless bodies in the guise of familiar people from life. They lost, and you won.
Today I dreamed about them leaving. It was a funeral. They turned to me, but they didn't stop. I asked them not to leave, but they left with the crowd. I felt tears flowing down my cheeks again, how painful and bitter inside, how sadness had grown into my heart. I woke up from the pain again and tried to recover for five minutes, getting rid of illusory feelings for unreal people.
A personal nightmare for many years."