It's hard to accept you saw people so wrong. That you yourself sugarcoated everything out of fear of loneliness. I let two people into my heart and expected them to guard it with all their might for letting them see the vulnerable side of me. For years I grew weaker and sicker but refused to see the problem for what it really was. The two people who were suppose to always be there, who should always been there to help me up, to protect what little heart I had left, they destroyed it. Thrashed, beaten, and broken to bits. And even now they don't care about the girl they left bleeding. So even now, even when I'm all alone I still think about them and cry. How could I be so foolish to think I could lie to myself and everything would be ok, because I was alone from the start. These two people never cared. They were there for the ride, they got their jollies, then they left. Why did you pick the other side, why did you hurt me, why did I think I meant anything to you.... I was so easily replaced...

Of course not all people are like this, don't get me wrong I don't think that at all.... I'm angsty and upset that I did this to myself. I let them break my heart and I let them still hurt me even to this day... I hope someday I can let go, I hope that some day comes real soon. But for now I'll chill alone and cry this out.

Nothing is worse than feeling this alone. [In any sense, family, friends, romantic, don't single one out because this is representing them all.]

ventartinglol. Feels good to draw my emotions again, the good and the bad. Ohh migraines... They've come back. Time to lie down. @_@