"SPACE LAUNCH SYSTEM"
by Super Train Station H

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NASA Space Launch System -
Corporate snafu on government commission,
confusion and delay is your mission,
Sir Topham Hatt would give you harsh words over this.

Proven technology? Explain this to me again:
you're getting outpaced by Thomas the Tank Engine.

Slower than a coal-powered Brighton E2,
Thomas's train was never as slow as Boeing's crew.

Astronauts: fully trained -
And yet they're better off taking a steam train to the moon.

Is screwing up space projects all you do?

What the hell happened?

This is just like Starliner:
you got beat to Commercial Crew
by hipster nerds with bitminers.

It's just a Space Shuttle with less parts to shatter,
but as long as you get paid the timeline don't matter.

"Orange rocket bad",

say the SpaceX fan-trolls,
but the corruption is so deep they don't know.
Planning disaster, ballooning budget with no goal.

How much more money do you space clowns need?
The Orion's been ready to fly since 2014!
But launching a ship without a rocket is a pipe dream!
Like having a ticket to Disney World,
but being stuck at home:
another space job Boeing
managed to bone.

I understand you got held up by Coronavirus,
but six years late?
I don't buy this.

And now you can't get the RS-25s to run?
Those engines have been flying since 1981 -
and they're disposable now,
you'll just drop them in the ocean,
but on SLS they haven't made one upward motion.

The goddess Artemis sits atop Mount Olympus,
wondering how the space mission with her name
got derailed like this.

Artemis turned the man Actaeon into a deer,
but Boeing can turn a month delay into over a year.

Old Boeing's management powers were godly,
the triumphs of Apollo are remembered fondly -
but times changed,
and the taxpayers aren't amused,
we've got a finished lunar spaceship
that we can't use!

They won't rush, even as we compete with Russia.
Roscosmos today? Do you really want to trust 'em?
Putin double-Korolev-crosses his heart he means good,
while China's People's Republic drops boosters on neighborhoods.
We used to be on top, but now we won't dare,
freedom's eagle cowering to dragons and bears.

A deferred moon dream,
a blank space captain's log,
sacrificed to a paper mache dollar sign god.

A young country moving like it has osteoporosis,
piling on nationwide morale necrosis.

In Elon we trust?

That guy's busy wasting his brain,
on lame gimmicky projects that seem vain.

The Brits did it first more than a century ago,
but now Musk wants credit
for inventing underground railroads.

SpaceX does great stuff when they're on point,
but Elon's playing on Twitter hyping Dogecoin.

The US needs super-heavy launch capability,
but this wait to get into deep space will be the end of me.

I know it ain't that simple,
they're a lot of moving parts
but as a taxpayer,
I've got to speak from my heart -

So cut the crap,
and let's mission: start.

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Thanks for reading!

I actually don't hate this rocket, I'm just annoyed by the mismanagement of nearly every aspect of the project and the incompetence of some of the contractors involved.

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