Oh, I’ll try to get into an important offtopic of emotions + I’ll tell you where the photos from our congress are (@@BJ_Risk came to visit me and   Jonsy_Frost for a few days)

well, our holiday is over, leaving me with a sprained thigh muscle, so for a couple more days I'll be limping, remembering everything. Do I look sadly at the departing train in the rain or look guiltily at Anton - at your fantasy )0))
BTW IN INST terons_rickman A LOT of photos with us!! I have never had so many updates on instagram in my life, gosh... There is even a video with gophers that we fed! And it was after I bent down on my right leg for a long time that she decided to refuse ..

I liked it so incredibly that now it's summer, these meetings and time are so strongly associated with my friends and FarCry6 and music from there. It was more of my favorite reality jokes, more headcanons, more introductions to Yara! (The symbol of my city is just a lion, as in Yara) And, probably, the only thing I lacked at that time was all my friends nearby. Not a day goes by that we don't joke about   StiMer ,   Ruddi ,   brassyblackfox ,   JupiterC or John, and I really want all the problems to go away a couple of times a year and give everyone the opportunity to get together and relax like this. And so that there is money, because, damn it, a significant part of happiness is in them, no matter what anyone says. Such a pastime is very expensive, even though we did not do anything so "rich". I have literally 12 rubles (0.2 dollars) left on the card from the savings from orders :D
I didn’t even sit at the computer almost at that time, because everything was as active as it had ever been. And at the same time, I had enough energy for everything and it still remained even after the most difficult days! This is a good sign as well as in terms of treatment for insulin resistance and mentality.
Also, my friends from Far Cry ASK contributed to my image of FC6 headcanons in my head and now this joy is also connected with them! (even Jose, with whom it is still a lot of fun to play something like an impromptu role-playing VK for all ASK and Jurassic Team)
Yes, neither words nor art can convey how fantastically in love I am with my world in my head with friends, which has developed from my favorite fandoms, including the damn FAR CRY. And I'm glad to tears that my friends rummage around and love what I love. Listening to music now from FC6, I feel such an atmosphere and comfort, I feel friends nearby and we interact with our favorite characters together .... AAAA

I was so happy these few days that it seems that in those moments I crossed over something in myself, which is called depression (albeit in a manic phase for several months)?

But now that BJ has left, I'm very shaky. As if in general it’s good, it’s just that somewhere in the backyards it feels like I can stumble. Because part of it all came to an end, we spent BJ, 0 money, and I feel like I can get into such a wild longing, not at all lyrical, but painful. Because as soon as I think deeply about these joys and life, a trigger immediately begins to torment me about the imminent passage of time, life, age, missed, the meaning of everything, etc. And it infuriates me. Vivid emotions are still not given to me to the maximum maximum. As soon as the “depression” sort of receded from half a year ago, turning into a manic phase, along with the desire for life, I also had corresponding completely different triggers. When I did not want to live, the triggers were completely different, not the ones that I described above. And now I want to live and my worries have changed to others. Both of these states are stupid, complicated and vile.
These timing triggers even FC6 often touch in many ways. To the anguish about the obsolescence of the content on the game (both ours and the official one) to the point that in the future I will find more fandoms (although I usually don’t leak from the old ones), and all the fuss about time and life can also give me the meaning of all the content I create on the game to devalue. I was even fucking sad that if my friends come to me next summer, then we will most likely have other headcanons, even different music... Although we usually know how to change the mood to different fds and we can quite possibly throw ourselves into tropical action for a couple of weeks in the summer mood. But fuck no, my anxiety even touches on that and doesn't go away even in a manic state.

+ Over the past few days, I have become so unaccustomed to my rhythm that now I am very sad to sleep alone, eat alone, and in general it is unusual to be back in my usual rhythm, which now seems somehow different.

BUT, I will really try to do everything to keep the course to improve my condition and along the way the good mood of my friends. Despite the end of summer, the end of a short vacation and week-long rains in the city. Now back to orders. I also need to return to my diet, which will be very difficult and, in general, merge into the regime that I had before the wild races around the city. There's a ton of work to do, from montages to novels and memes, and I love it all. It remains only to be able to organize my work.

Thank you for staying with me! Despite all the difficulties, you, my viewers and friends, make up a huge part of my work and its atmosphere. I'm glad to share a lot with you!

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