The disconnect tone works well.

The rest is silly.

Very silly.

Especially telling the caller to ask his/her mother for assistance but I love it.

Ah ha ha ha!!

(bows)

Apparently the pollsters and pols are fooling caller ID here. Can't screen incoming calls now.

I don't answer unless I have the number saved as a Contact. They haven't managed to spoof one of my contacts yet.

I thought caller ID spoofing was illegal??

It could be the new modem from the cable company is the culprit. Two of the calls that stayed on long enough to get the answering machine were from my Congressman. An invitation to an online townhall meeting. Neither call registered on the Caller ID.

It is but, they aren't Americans so, as far as they are concerned, our laws don't apply to them.

Any weird and wonderful or withheld number on my house phone gets answered in the same way.

"Hello. Staffordshire Police service, regional cyber crime unit. How can I help?"

I use "County Sheriff's Office, Telephone Fraud Division, can I help you?" on my landline.

A classic. I used to answer Wednesday evening calls in the Dallas Texas area with "Deputy Bromley, Dallas Sheriff's Department. Always got a hang up. Wednesday evening was burglary night in that area - was a church night. Lot of odd calls received from people casing the neighborhoods

Added! Thank you! (giggles)

or "Mr. Benny's residence. Star of Stage, Screen, Radio, and FBI informants. This number will be given to them."

Oooo! I LIKE that one.

Grinch's Answering Machine : [Grinch's voice] If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.

Need a duet with Daffy Duck's laugh.

Heh!

My fave are car insurance/warranty ones.

They tell me they can save me money. I tell 'em I doubt it.

They usually hang up after they do the spiel, and I tell them I ain't got a car.

Oh, my favorites are the ones that say, "Due to the fact that you have been dependable in making your credit card payments, we're authorized to offer you a lower credit card interest rate. Press 1 to speak to a representative about lowering your credit card interest rate." I press 1 and an Indian voice comes on the line. "Are you calling in response to getting a lower credit card interest rate?" My response, "What's my credit card interest?" "Sir?" "What's my credit card interest rate?" "Well, Mastercard/Visa charge up to 24% . . ." "No, what's MY interest rate? You called me to offer me a lower rate; so, what's my interest rate?" I'll keep this up as long as the dumbass will continue. Plus, he NEVER gets any information out of me.

Lol, nice.

My favorite response is when they say, "No, sir. You called us." I respond with, "Yeah, right. I called you just to ask you what my interest rate on my credit cards is. What kind of a dumbass do you think I am?" Their response? (click)

Yeah, they really are just scamming.

Sometimes, I even get them to call me insulting names because I won't play their silly assed game. Oh! I've got a paralyzed vocal cord so my voice sounds turrble. I had one guy start making fun of how I was talking so, I said, "How mature of you to make fun of a person with a paralyzed vocal cord." He immediately started apologizing profusely. I said, "I wouldn't listen to anything you had to say to me now if you were giving me 10 million dollars tax-free." Then, I hung up on him so fast it had to make his head swim.

From what I've seen, some of those 'coldcall' centers are operated out of min-sec prison.

Could be. I just know that 90+% of the ones I listen to (harass) are Indian.

Yeah, outside labor as well.

I like playing with the extended warranty assholes. Asking for a 1958 Plymouth Fury which keeps eating people, or a 1924 Maxwell...

"So, I got this Western Star 4800, that acts up sometimes-"

I don't care what King says, I love that film.

Wanna see a travesty, watch the 'unmake' Trucks. That movie is super bad, like, funny as hell, stupid bad.

https://www.imcdb.org/v011451.html

Holy hell, look at those guys go.

One exchange I had this week:

I knew it was a telemarketer when I heard the "boop" after I said hello

When the guy came on the line with his greeting I immediately went "Are you trying to sell me solar?"

Telemarketer: Uh, yes?

Me: "No thanks" <click>

No, you shoulda asked him what he was wearing and started breathing heavily...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wb2nZR6qbE