FA+
Shop
6238
Views
Views
554
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Dog (Other)
Size 1000 x 1000
File Size 1.09 MB
Report this content
More from Vani
Listed in Folders
<slight angst>
Meh, just a vent picture. You know, a little "me" picture. I haven't done one of those in a while...
Idk, I really needed to do something to preoccupy my mind so I wouldn't find myself lost in thought and getting upset...and then find myself crying. I: I don't normally get this personal here haha, it's weird isn't it?
Basically today (..or yesterday) I've been through a weird cycle of emotions...but mostly varying between upset, bitter and irritated. I don't know how to explain...actually I don't know how I feel really, but I do know I felt rather bitter today. Like that sort of bitterness that replaces crying or something. Then eventually that frustration turns into having an urge to cry. AM I MAKING SENSE YET?
Idk, but I do know I got frustrated because I didn't know what these series of feelings were and THAT made me want to cry.
Eh well pretty much, I just recently recovered from this...4 to 5 month crushing fit. Normally I tell myself not to get caught in a crush because they only turn out really bad and I get depressed and surely I was right. However, this one was different...this one wasn't spontaneous like the ones in the past. This one wasn't me being some dumb girl all like "oh man that guy over this is REALLY CUTE :333" oh no, I've learned my lesson from going after people like that.
No...this time it was more heart felt. This "crush" of some sorts just kind of formed over time. Like, I knew this person for a while now, and to the contrary...I wasn't too fond of them in the beginning. It was one of those types of relationships where you're like "wow you're a little irritating..." and then before you know it, you're the best of friends. Then that's just..how it was, we formed a really strong friendship. It's been going on for 2 years now.
So...after a while, I found myself really attached without knowing, got a little too close I guess. Then well, before I knew it, I found myself in a crushing fit. I HATE THEM so much because I am the worst. Mostly because I get flustered very easily and it's very obvious. Very...very obvious. ]:
As much as I wanted to pull out of this fit as quickly as possible to save myself the heartache, I couldn't help but feel that something was "right" about my feelings this time. Like they were legit or something, not just me being all like "oh u so irresistible :333". Like...it was more of a "I feel happy when you're with me and adore you for who you are and what's on the inside" sort of feeling...if that makes any sense. Eh.
SO.
Decided to give this a try, and well, let out my feelings. I had never done this before...normally what happens is that the person I'm crushing on some how finds out I like them and either avoid me like the plague or send me subliminal messages through little hints that they don't like me at all.
Sooo...I was a little nervous, I've never just straight up told someone how I feel about them. It's a little awkward....very awkward actually...and it was so awkward that there wasn't even a response to my feelings at all. At first I was like??? But now it makes sense..
Eventually I got a real response and was pretty much SHOT DOWN. Oh how it hurt. Well not really, I wasn't necessarily shot down...it was more of a "I'm really flattered, but I don't do relationships n_N" sorta thing. It still hurt though, mostly because every time I attempt at this...relationship thing, I always get turned down. It was more of a disappointed sort of hurt if that makes any sense.
So I cried...
...and cried...
...and cried some more.
Then got over it....sorta. It kept coming back, but eventually it started to die down. However...I just got over it completely because I finally got to see some things for myself. :/ I won't go into detail, but basically I got to see what I had been replaced with this entire time. That's where the confused feelings start to kick in. I wasn't jealous...or mad, but just...kind of bitter and irritated, mostly annoyed. Then in the back of my mind, there was something that made me want to cry...but instead, I was just realllyyy bitter.
It's all rather confusing...but pretty much, I'm starting to get really sore from all of this emotional stress. I kind of want to give up at this relationship thing. At some points I kind of wish I was asexual or something and maybe my personal life would be a little easier. But unfortunately for me, that won't be happening because idk, I always feel like I need comfort from someone. I'm a really really affectionate person, but I never have anyone to share that with? No one even knows I'm like that, so it just kind of stays locked up inside. I really hate it, and it makes me really upset most of the time. Mostly when I go to bed though...
However...this recent crushing fit really did a lot for me tbh, so in some aspects I'm glad it happened because it taught me a lot about not having preferences and that specifics like gender isn't what matters when it comes to caring about someone. You know, it opened me up a lot...so I'm a bit grateful for that.
Haha okayyy I may be getting a little too personal...but
I just needed to vent before I headed off to bed. I wanted to spew out these feelings to someone, but I didn't have anyone to vent to (no one's ever on aim anymore.) So I poured it all into a picture.
....yeah that makes a lot of sense. "I was sad, so I drew another dog in the rain. n.n"
Sorry for the spill, I just..idk, I needed to get it out somewhere and somehow. If you read all of this...you're amazing.
And yeah...I know, for the record I shouldn't worry about such silly issues, I know I should wait for such things to come at their own pace. However I'm just one of those people who kind of...well, can't wait. Idk, me being secretly overly affectionate makes me worry about dumb stuff like this quite a bit haha. It's dumb I know.. I: It's just, idk...sometimes I feel like because no one's ever taken interest in me I feel like there's something wrong with me...so I constantly worry about it. It's a real killer for my self esteem.
(I'm going to wake up in a few hours and be like "fuck did I really post that wth is wrong with me")
(Oh and yes...I have acquired glasses...)
</slight angst>
Meh, just a vent picture. You know, a little "me" picture. I haven't done one of those in a while...
Idk, I really needed to do something to preoccupy my mind so I wouldn't find myself lost in thought and getting upset...and then find myself crying. I: I don't normally get this personal here haha, it's weird isn't it?
Basically today (..or yesterday) I've been through a weird cycle of emotions...but mostly varying between upset, bitter and irritated. I don't know how to explain...actually I don't know how I feel really, but I do know I felt rather bitter today. Like that sort of bitterness that replaces crying or something. Then eventually that frustration turns into having an urge to cry. AM I MAKING SENSE YET?
Idk, but I do know I got frustrated because I didn't know what these series of feelings were and THAT made me want to cry.
Eh well pretty much, I just recently recovered from this...4 to 5 month crushing fit. Normally I tell myself not to get caught in a crush because they only turn out really bad and I get depressed and surely I was right. However, this one was different...this one wasn't spontaneous like the ones in the past. This one wasn't me being some dumb girl all like "oh man that guy over this is REALLY CUTE :333" oh no, I've learned my lesson from going after people like that.
No...this time it was more heart felt. This "crush" of some sorts just kind of formed over time. Like, I knew this person for a while now, and to the contrary...I wasn't too fond of them in the beginning. It was one of those types of relationships where you're like "wow you're a little irritating..." and then before you know it, you're the best of friends. Then that's just..how it was, we formed a really strong friendship. It's been going on for 2 years now.
So...after a while, I found myself really attached without knowing, got a little too close I guess. Then well, before I knew it, I found myself in a crushing fit. I HATE THEM so much because I am the worst. Mostly because I get flustered very easily and it's very obvious. Very...very obvious. ]:
As much as I wanted to pull out of this fit as quickly as possible to save myself the heartache, I couldn't help but feel that something was "right" about my feelings this time. Like they were legit or something, not just me being all like "oh u so irresistible :333". Like...it was more of a "I feel happy when you're with me and adore you for who you are and what's on the inside" sort of feeling...if that makes any sense. Eh.
SO.
Decided to give this a try, and well, let out my feelings. I had never done this before...normally what happens is that the person I'm crushing on some how finds out I like them and either avoid me like the plague or send me subliminal messages through little hints that they don't like me at all.
Sooo...I was a little nervous, I've never just straight up told someone how I feel about them. It's a little awkward....very awkward actually...and it was so awkward that there wasn't even a response to my feelings at all. At first I was like??? But now it makes sense..
Eventually I got a real response and was pretty much SHOT DOWN. Oh how it hurt. Well not really, I wasn't necessarily shot down...it was more of a "I'm really flattered, but I don't do relationships n_N" sorta thing. It still hurt though, mostly because every time I attempt at this...relationship thing, I always get turned down. It was more of a disappointed sort of hurt if that makes any sense.
So I cried...
...and cried...
...and cried some more.
Then got over it....sorta. It kept coming back, but eventually it started to die down. However...I just got over it completely because I finally got to see some things for myself. :/ I won't go into detail, but basically I got to see what I had been replaced with this entire time. That's where the confused feelings start to kick in. I wasn't jealous...or mad, but just...kind of bitter and irritated, mostly annoyed. Then in the back of my mind, there was something that made me want to cry...but instead, I was just realllyyy bitter.
It's all rather confusing...but pretty much, I'm starting to get really sore from all of this emotional stress. I kind of want to give up at this relationship thing. At some points I kind of wish I was asexual or something and maybe my personal life would be a little easier. But unfortunately for me, that won't be happening because idk, I always feel like I need comfort from someone. I'm a really really affectionate person, but I never have anyone to share that with? No one even knows I'm like that, so it just kind of stays locked up inside. I really hate it, and it makes me really upset most of the time. Mostly when I go to bed though...
However...this recent crushing fit really did a lot for me tbh, so in some aspects I'm glad it happened because it taught me a lot about not having preferences and that specifics like gender isn't what matters when it comes to caring about someone. You know, it opened me up a lot...so I'm a bit grateful for that.
Haha okayyy I may be getting a little too personal...but
I just needed to vent before I headed off to bed. I wanted to spew out these feelings to someone, but I didn't have anyone to vent to (no one's ever on aim anymore.) So I poured it all into a picture.
....yeah that makes a lot of sense. "I was sad, so I drew another dog in the rain. n.n"
Sorry for the spill, I just..idk, I needed to get it out somewhere and somehow. If you read all of this...you're amazing.
And yeah...I know, for the record I shouldn't worry about such silly issues, I know I should wait for such things to come at their own pace. However I'm just one of those people who kind of...well, can't wait. Idk, me being secretly overly affectionate makes me worry about dumb stuff like this quite a bit haha. It's dumb I know.. I: It's just, idk...sometimes I feel like because no one's ever taken interest in me I feel like there's something wrong with me...so I constantly worry about it. It's a real killer for my self esteem.
(I'm going to wake up in a few hours and be like "fuck did I really post that wth is wrong with me")
(Oh and yes...I have acquired glasses...)
</slight angst>
Category Artwork (Digital) / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Dog (Other)
Size 1000 x 1000px
File Size 1.09 MB
Hun, I know we don't get to talk much but I'm going to make a point of changing that. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met and I hope you realize how wonderful you are, because when you do others will be able to see it even more clearly. I know who/what you're talking about, obvs, but just know I'm always here for you, okay? Even if I don't seem around, my phone is always on and ready, and I'm more than willing to come down there and grab you if you should ever need it. We could do whatever you want. Okay? <3
Also of course the picture turned out really nicely but that goes without saying. <3
Also of course the picture turned out really nicely but that goes without saying. <3
Aw Sam you're the sweetest. Thank you so much <33 I thought a lot about you guys during Thanksgiving, I really wish you guys could of came down! But uh...at the same time, kind of glad you didn't because...this place got kind of wrecked. So that's embarrassing, that's mostly why I'm irritated. Eh.
I guess I can start dropping you texts when I need someone to talk to though? >: I'd feel bad if you came all the way down here just for me though. xD That's a lot of gas, and gas is so pricey lately..but if you really want to, you're free to. <3 I'd appreciate the company oh so very much
I guess I can start dropping you texts when I need someone to talk to though? >: I'd feel bad if you came all the way down here just for me though. xD That's a lot of gas, and gas is so pricey lately..but if you really want to, you're free to. <3 I'd appreciate the company oh so very much
Trust me, once my tags are taken care of, it's no problem, and neither is texting me. <3 Ask Skiota, my phone is always attached to my hip. And hell, if I can't afford gas, there's always Skype when your Internet's not being a butt!
I actually REALLY wanted to come down for Thanksgiving, but Skiota's family really wanted me there, and family blahblahblah. I understood, but I was sad I couldn't attend. Oh, and I feel you on the place being wrecked. xD Our cat is destroying all the paper she can get per mitts on, and it seems like all four of us here have been in this really weird mode where we'll start cleaning, realize we have to do something else, start on that, and so on until it's almost midnight. Weird...
But yes, Vani-love is plentiful from me AND Skiota. :3
I actually REALLY wanted to come down for Thanksgiving, but Skiota's family really wanted me there, and family blahblahblah. I understood, but I was sad I couldn't attend. Oh, and I feel you on the place being wrecked. xD Our cat is destroying all the paper she can get per mitts on, and it seems like all four of us here have been in this really weird mode where we'll start cleaning, realize we have to do something else, start on that, and so on until it's almost midnight. Weird...
But yes, Vani-love is plentiful from me AND Skiota. :3
Haha okay, well if you're coming down any time soon you should see if you can before the 15th, because that's when I'll be taking off for Winter break. I: I know I won't be gone long because I'll be right back after Christmas. I don't like staying at my parents place for too long, if I do they start nagging at me and it's the worst.
Skype is fine too! Actually, that'll be a great way to keep in touch when I'm gone. xD
Aw yeah I understand completely, and it's fine really. Don't be sad though, you didn't really miss anything important because I know I kinda went anti-social and kept to myself most of the time. All these guys did was larp and make silly videos the entire time. That's why this place turned into a mess. |:
Haha oh god, Mercutio does that too, except...only when he's angry and wants his way with things. If he can't have his way, he'll go rip up whatever he can find...
Aw <333
Skype is fine too! Actually, that'll be a great way to keep in touch when I'm gone. xD
Aw yeah I understand completely, and it's fine really. Don't be sad though, you didn't really miss anything important because I know I kinda went anti-social and kept to myself most of the time. All these guys did was larp and make silly videos the entire time. That's why this place turned into a mess. |:
Haha oh god, Mercutio does that too, except...only when he's angry and wants his way with things. If he can't have his way, he'll go rip up whatever he can find...
Aw <333
Well I'll see what I can plan up, since I have to get the info from my dad in the mail first so I can get my tags renewed (entirely my fault they're expired lol), but I'd definitely love to come chill with you again. <3 I know how the family thing feels too; if I'm around mine for too long we start bickering and such, it's awful.
Do either of your cats ever watch tv? Eevee is fascinated with tv's and will just sit entranced for nearly an hour at a time!
Do either of your cats ever watch tv? Eevee is fascinated with tv's and will just sit entranced for nearly an hour at a time!
Oh ouch...that's a little worse. D: It sounds like he's pretty much just like "Yeah, I'm looking for the right girl to date and you're not that girl"
hgsd sorry to be a downer, but that's how it would have came off to me. I've been in similar situations like that. For me though, my friend that I crushed on was asexual so..that's why she turned me down. That and she tells everyone that, so it's rather reassuring really.
But yeah, definitely moving on. <3 It just takes me a bit of time to recover after these sorts of things. >:
hgsd sorry to be a downer, but that's how it would have came off to me. I've been in similar situations like that. For me though, my friend that I crushed on was asexual so..that's why she turned me down. That and she tells everyone that, so it's rather reassuring really.
But yeah, definitely moving on. <3 It just takes me a bit of time to recover after these sorts of things. >:
Oh god in highschool I just completely disregarded relationships okay. I had a best friend and that's all I really needed at the time. My middle school and early high school crushes is what turned me off from crushing on people. I: It wasn't until I got to college and fell out with my best friend, that I started having crushes again haha. It was bad though, similar to your situation...and it was that last crush that made me not want to crush again. However, that tends to be what you always say after recovering from a failed crush...then you find yourself in another one. Ugh. :[
Though, luckily for me I just recently made up with my best friend from ages ago, so that's helping me recover a lot actually.
Though, luckily for me I just recently made up with my best friend from ages ago, so that's helping me recover a lot actually.
Exactly...because, it's no one's fault but your own if you get upset over it. It's not like they said no because they didn't like you or anything, it's just not something they're interested in. I: So eh. The hurt just came from the sheer disappointment and the crashing down of high hopes that got a bit too high.
Thank you <3 I'm getting there~
Thank you <3 I'm getting there~
Firstly, AWESOME picture right there.
Secondly, some times it seems that the nicest people always seem to go through the most problems in life. <_>
People like you think deeply and realise some problems. The feeling of not being able to get a "deeper friend" is frustrating, and how people can just simply turn a meaningful relationship request like yours down like it's of no value at all. It only means one thing - he just doesn't want to do relationships, he's not de-meaning you, even though the fact that his denial of your request means you ending up back in the feeling of being alone, and having nobody to closely relate to. You're just a little unlucky, keep trying. I know one thing about relationships from experience. The harder you try, the harder you fail. Once you stop trying and pretending that you don't even want a relationship, people start pummeling you with requests.
Or of course you could go to a disco and get easy relationships from there.
Or you might want to start looking for people on the basis of common interest, rather than random people. Several relationships fail because people go and make relationships without any common interests. ^ ^
I might not know you but you need people to communicate with - to give you feedback and stabilise your emotions by giving you their opinions, and their friendliness to you.
Secondly, some times it seems that the nicest people always seem to go through the most problems in life. <_>
People like you think deeply and realise some problems. The feeling of not being able to get a "deeper friend" is frustrating, and how people can just simply turn a meaningful relationship request like yours down like it's of no value at all. It only means one thing - he just doesn't want to do relationships, he's not de-meaning you, even though the fact that his denial of your request means you ending up back in the feeling of being alone, and having nobody to closely relate to. You're just a little unlucky, keep trying. I know one thing about relationships from experience. The harder you try, the harder you fail. Once you stop trying and pretending that you don't even want a relationship, people start pummeling you with requests.
Or of course you could go to a disco and get easy relationships from there.
Or you might want to start looking for people on the basis of common interest, rather than random people. Several relationships fail because people go and make relationships without any common interests. ^ ^
I might not know you but you need people to communicate with - to give you feedback and stabilise your emotions by giving you their opinions, and their friendliness to you.
Thank you <3
Heh, it kind of makes sense that overly nice people have the most problems...we tend to be big pushovers from being too nice. It kinda sucks for me, because I can kind of be a dick, but I never voice that part of myself...I keep things to myself. So I just tend to be really REALLY nice instead. It's usually for the better.
You're 100% correct with that one, I do tend to get really frustrated when I don't have a really close friend. :/ It tends to eat up at me a lot, especially since I've had one in the past and know what it feels like to have one and to lose it too. Then going through the hardships to find something similar, if not the same. Having multiple friends is great, it's wonderful really. I love having multiple people I can go to for company or comfort...however, nothing beats having that one close friend you can trust 100%. That one best friend you can tell anything, do just about everything with and just...idk, enjoy being around the most. You know, having someone you come "first" for basically...instead of 2nd or 3rd.
I went on a ramble there...but yeah, stuff like that bothers me a lot. Especially since I feel like it's harder to make friends now that I'm older. I found my best friend that turned into my awesome close friend for a good 6 or 7 years when I was 13 years old. The hardest thing for me is that I tend to be picky with friends too...and it's my own fault fff. Idk, it's just really easy for me to get turned off from someone..? It's hard to explain. I just know when I get turned off from someone...I tend to stay as far away as possible. Mostly because I feel awkward and uncomfortable..
Anyways, yeah, I know that the person I liked didn't mean any harm. I could see it coming too, and another friend of mine even warned me ahead of time too that I wasn't going to get anywhere with this crushing nonsense. I feel like it was my own fault for taking the fall for my friend. She's asexual and isn't interested in relationships...so, yeah, not gonna get anywhere with that. I feel really stupid for letting myself believe maybe our situation was different or something. Idk, I just feel like my crushing towards her was an act of selfishness and me being hurt from it is my fault. We still do really care a lot for each other, and I'm grateful for that, but idk...it's just gonna take me a while to "unlatch" myself from her if that makes any sense. I just feel bad for making her worry now...
I kind of feel like I've been unlucky all of my life. I: I can't even begin to count all the times I've been turned down, pretty much every attempt I've made failed. I even went through a phase where I stopped caring and just stuck with my good friends. I still didn't get asked out or anything. Not even when I got to college. That's when I started questioning, maybe I'm being too picky and specific...maybe that's why I haven't found someone yet. So that's when, well, after having this inner battle of denial with myself, I decided to open up a little more.
I:
Nope...still got shot down, and it wasn't really the best thing for my self esteem either. It really leaves me questioning myself a lot... like if there's something wrong with me or something. The thing that gets me the most is seeing people who are like...idk, just not the best looking people in the world or they're way bigger than I am, and they have someone and are just ~*perfect and happy*~ with their significant other. I'm just like... "....what do they have that I don't have..?" >_>; Meh.
I tend to only fall for people I do have similar interests with. That's why I don't instantly like people anymore...I like starting off as good friends first? That or just letting these things form over time and by themselves. I don't like...forcing things. That was my problem when I was wayyy younger...
Heh, it kind of makes sense that overly nice people have the most problems...we tend to be big pushovers from being too nice. It kinda sucks for me, because I can kind of be a dick, but I never voice that part of myself...I keep things to myself. So I just tend to be really REALLY nice instead. It's usually for the better.
You're 100% correct with that one, I do tend to get really frustrated when I don't have a really close friend. :/ It tends to eat up at me a lot, especially since I've had one in the past and know what it feels like to have one and to lose it too. Then going through the hardships to find something similar, if not the same. Having multiple friends is great, it's wonderful really. I love having multiple people I can go to for company or comfort...however, nothing beats having that one close friend you can trust 100%. That one best friend you can tell anything, do just about everything with and just...idk, enjoy being around the most. You know, having someone you come "first" for basically...instead of 2nd or 3rd.
I went on a ramble there...but yeah, stuff like that bothers me a lot. Especially since I feel like it's harder to make friends now that I'm older. I found my best friend that turned into my awesome close friend for a good 6 or 7 years when I was 13 years old. The hardest thing for me is that I tend to be picky with friends too...and it's my own fault fff. Idk, it's just really easy for me to get turned off from someone..? It's hard to explain. I just know when I get turned off from someone...I tend to stay as far away as possible. Mostly because I feel awkward and uncomfortable..
Anyways, yeah, I know that the person I liked didn't mean any harm. I could see it coming too, and another friend of mine even warned me ahead of time too that I wasn't going to get anywhere with this crushing nonsense. I feel like it was my own fault for taking the fall for my friend. She's asexual and isn't interested in relationships...so, yeah, not gonna get anywhere with that. I feel really stupid for letting myself believe maybe our situation was different or something. Idk, I just feel like my crushing towards her was an act of selfishness and me being hurt from it is my fault. We still do really care a lot for each other, and I'm grateful for that, but idk...it's just gonna take me a while to "unlatch" myself from her if that makes any sense. I just feel bad for making her worry now...
I kind of feel like I've been unlucky all of my life. I: I can't even begin to count all the times I've been turned down, pretty much every attempt I've made failed. I even went through a phase where I stopped caring and just stuck with my good friends. I still didn't get asked out or anything. Not even when I got to college. That's when I started questioning, maybe I'm being too picky and specific...maybe that's why I haven't found someone yet. So that's when, well, after having this inner battle of denial with myself, I decided to open up a little more.
I:
Nope...still got shot down, and it wasn't really the best thing for my self esteem either. It really leaves me questioning myself a lot... like if there's something wrong with me or something. The thing that gets me the most is seeing people who are like...idk, just not the best looking people in the world or they're way bigger than I am, and they have someone and are just ~*perfect and happy*~ with their significant other. I'm just like... "....what do they have that I don't have..?" >_>; Meh.
I tend to only fall for people I do have similar interests with. That's why I don't instantly like people anymore...I like starting off as good friends first? That or just letting these things form over time and by themselves. I don't like...forcing things. That was my problem when I was wayyy younger...
I understand. At least, opening up here helps you to release what's bottled up inside. You realised that you may be too picky - and that is already a great start. There is not a single relationship that exists that is flawless. But on the other hand, it is good that you don't simply pick the first one who comes to you. You're definitely aiming quite high for a lover who is a perfect match for you, but you might want to widen that just a little bit, as you said yourself ^^
I hope this situation of yours improves over time! x3
And don't worry, you'll get that one person in life you can be close with. =3
I hope this situation of yours improves over time! x3
And don't worry, you'll get that one person in life you can be close with. =3
Well our situation was a bit different...I kind of live with said person, so...yeah. We had to eventually push this to the side so we can go back to just having a good, close relationship. I: It's really hard...but I'm kind of glad winter break is coming up soon, we could really use the break from one another...
Well I actually had plenty of people to vent to in the past about this...because it's been going on for a while now. I: It even affected school for me...now I'm regretting it haha.
I just didn't have anyone to vent to this weekend I guess. Like this situation is old news, I'm way over it than I was before a few weeks ago...it's just, it's starting to get to that "well I'm done now" part. Actually I am, it's just...the realization of everything is just kind of bumming me out is all. Like a kind of "Oh okay, now that I see things for myself..." sort of realization.
I: I've been at this since forever...I kind of think it's about time to give up I think. The stress isn't good for me at all, especially since I'm easily prone to depression...
I just didn't have anyone to vent to this weekend I guess. Like this situation is old news, I'm way over it than I was before a few weeks ago...it's just, it's starting to get to that "well I'm done now" part. Actually I am, it's just...the realization of everything is just kind of bumming me out is all. Like a kind of "Oh okay, now that I see things for myself..." sort of realization.
I: I've been at this since forever...I kind of think it's about time to give up I think. The stress isn't good for me at all, especially since I'm easily prone to depression...
I totally know what you mean when you say that because no one's ever shown affection in that way that maybe there's something wrong with you. I constantly think that as well :( Even more so when I see people who are worse off in the physical department than I am who are happily married or have a happy, healthy relationship.
Tbh I had an incident where someone liked me and I liked them back and we did stuff and had fun but it never went anywhere and, because of that, because I was too in a hurry to have anything with anyone and because I left that situation extremely hurt and beaten up, I've kind of given up hope on having any sort of relationship ever. But I don't think you should. ;_; You're a wonderful person, from what I gather, and all these years I've secretely watched you from the shadows like a pedophile lurker, you've always made me laugh the tears out of my eyes (how dare you). So keep your chin up, and even if it doesn't come soon, someone will eventually love you with all their heart ;u; <3
ABOUT THE PICTURE
god damn I freaking love your canines hngh. And the expression. And the colors. Idk, everything about this just transmits to me the emotion you're trying to convey, and it's absolutely beautiful.
Also, paws and fur. *TOUCHES*
Tbh I had an incident where someone liked me and I liked them back and we did stuff and had fun but it never went anywhere and, because of that, because I was too in a hurry to have anything with anyone and because I left that situation extremely hurt and beaten up, I've kind of given up hope on having any sort of relationship ever. But I don't think you should. ;_; You're a wonderful person, from what I gather, and all these years I've secretely watched you from the shadows like a pedophile lurker, you've always made me laugh the tears out of my eyes (how dare you). So keep your chin up, and even if it doesn't come soon, someone will eventually love you with all their heart ;u; <3
ABOUT THE PICTURE
god damn I freaking love your canines hngh. And the expression. And the colors. Idk, everything about this just transmits to me the emotion you're trying to convey, and it's absolutely beautiful.
Also, paws and fur. *TOUCHES*
Oh my god I'm just like that too, I'll see someone who's just...not all that great looking or just...idk...bigger than me or something, and they're happily married or have someone and I'm just like wow ok, what do they have that I don't have?? ]:
Ugh that sucks! But at least you've had the experience though....I feel like because I haven't had any at all, I don't know exactly how to go about things when it comes to wanting a relationship. I feel like I'm playing trial and error, but I keep getting nothing but errors. I: I feel like everything I do or attempt is wrong...
Aw thank you <3 jhgsd you're such a creep haha
Ugh that sucks! But at least you've had the experience though....I feel like because I haven't had any at all, I don't know exactly how to go about things when it comes to wanting a relationship. I feel like I'm playing trial and error, but I keep getting nothing but errors. I: I feel like everything I do or attempt is wrong...
Aw thank you <3 jhgsd you're such a creep haha
IKR. I mean, I'd like to think I'm not that bad on the personality department. :I Maybe I am and don't realise it. Crap.
I honestly wish I could not have had that experience. Losing my first everythings to someone I didn't even know for that long was... fucking stupid. But I guess ignoring it happened without actually forgetting what it taught me is the best way to go!
And, tbh, relationships are a drag. Well, to me, at least. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to cuddle with people and kiss and make out and stuff but... I think I'm too much of a "me" person to actually be with someone else who will have their needs and I'll have to make it work. D:
And I guess getting errors all the time isn't that bad! At least now you know what not to do?
HAHA I'm sorry bb. <3
I honestly wish I could not have had that experience. Losing my first everythings to someone I didn't even know for that long was... fucking stupid. But I guess ignoring it happened without actually forgetting what it taught me is the best way to go!
And, tbh, relationships are a drag. Well, to me, at least. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to cuddle with people and kiss and make out and stuff but... I think I'm too much of a "me" person to actually be with someone else who will have their needs and I'll have to make it work. D:
And I guess getting errors all the time isn't that bad! At least now you know what not to do?
HAHA I'm sorry bb. <3
Heh, that sounds oddly familiar, if at a little less impacting level. I understand your feelings about the..."replacing" bit though, that was probably the worst part of it, especially cuz I knew the other person as well.
With me that's in the past, but I do remember the hurt of it, so here's my hopes for you that you'll get to recover soon...and that maybe someone with a bit of curiosity will bother to try and pry open your shell, see the person on the inside :3
With me that's in the past, but I do remember the hurt of it, so here's my hopes for you that you'll get to recover soon...and that maybe someone with a bit of curiosity will bother to try and pry open your shell, see the person on the inside :3
The replacing part is always the worst, especially since you know that's what makes them the happiest...and that if they ever had to choose between either you or what you've been replaced with, you'd know exactly what they would go with. I think that's the part that still bums me out from time to time. Not the fact that I got turned down, but the fact that I've been replaced with something "better".
Thank you <3 Maybe someday that will happen...
Thank you <3 Maybe someday that will happen...
Im really sorry to hear that x.x i completely know the feeling as its happened to me as well. all i can say is for you to do your best to get over it and try to stay friends with this person. do your best not to let things get too awkward DX who knows? maybe someday he/she will take you up on your offer.
I remember reading this on LJ...well when you first had the 'crush' and I'm sorry that you're still so hurt by it. But at the same time I can understand why. What you went through was hard and I do congratulate you for even telling said person about how you felt.
Normally when I have a crush on someone I just..have a crush on someone and don't say anything about it. I'm just there..staring at them...from the back of the room..SDFJ okay not really
but back to the point.
I understand what you're going through because, like others have said before in the comments, I've dealt with the exact same thing...It was different..weird and I was kinda scared about have such strong feelings for a person I never...thought I would have.
I'd go into it more but..thats' a little too personal for me.
to sum it all in a sentence, I spewed my feelings and they were just shot right back in my face.
I'm always around if you need someone to talk to Ash. Really. I know I was a little clingy towards you in the beginning of the summer..but yeah. I don't have AIM but you can text me, skype me, or if your msn stops being buggy just message me. If you need someone to spew too I'm here.
I'm happy to know you're getting over it, and that even though it's hurt you so much you've learned something from this. I wouldn't say I'm..proud of you cause that sounds so motherly sdjfsd but I admire you for going through something like this and finding something about it to learn from.
I like vani with glasses btw. So pret<3~
Normally when I have a crush on someone I just..have a crush on someone and don't say anything about it. I'm just there..staring at them...from the back of the room..SDFJ okay not really
but back to the point.
I understand what you're going through because, like others have said before in the comments, I've dealt with the exact same thing...It was different..weird and I was kinda scared about have such strong feelings for a person I never...thought I would have.
I'd go into it more but..thats' a little too personal for me.
to sum it all in a sentence, I spewed my feelings and they were just shot right back in my face.
I'm always around if you need someone to talk to Ash. Really. I know I was a little clingy towards you in the beginning of the summer..but yeah. I don't have AIM but you can text me, skype me, or if your msn stops being buggy just message me. If you need someone to spew too I'm here.
I'm happy to know you're getting over it, and that even though it's hurt you so much you've learned something from this. I wouldn't say I'm..proud of you cause that sounds so motherly sdjfsd but I admire you for going through something like this and finding something about it to learn from.
I like vani with glasses btw. So pret<3~
Oh man Vani D: unrequited love can be the worst ;;
My first real love really hurt a lot too, I had fun talking with the guy, playing with him and all, we were pretty good friends and I... kinda ended up crushing on him. And I kept that to myself, for nearly two years, until I told a couple of my close friends about it and one of them decided to ask him if he liked me, I knew he didn't but, his answer hurt so much, I felt like I could cry for days.
I hope you are able to completely recover soon
My first real love really hurt a lot too, I had fun talking with the guy, playing with him and all, we were pretty good friends and I... kinda ended up crushing on him. And I kept that to myself, for nearly two years, until I told a couple of my close friends about it and one of them decided to ask him if he liked me, I knew he didn't but, his answer hurt so much, I felt like I could cry for days.
I hope you are able to completely recover soon
Oh man... Where's the quote I read a few days ago that would fit with this perfectly. It really helped me a lot with certain situations that have happened recently. I have a hard time letting things go because I don't want good things to come to an end.
AH. HERE IT IS: "Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened." - Dr. Seuss
Oh, and uh, "When life hits you where it hurts, hit it back with a flip-flop!"
LOL My sister posted those both on her facebook status...es... STATI?
I hope things get better. Look at things from an educational standpoint as you said before. What did you learn from it, and how can it benefit you? Those are the only things you can focus on because you can't change the past, but you can learn from it and avoid such situations in the future. :3
AH. HERE IT IS: "Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened." - Dr. Seuss
Oh, and uh, "When life hits you where it hurts, hit it back with a flip-flop!"
LOL My sister posted those both on her facebook status...es... STATI?
I hope things get better. Look at things from an educational standpoint as you said before. What did you learn from it, and how can it benefit you? Those are the only things you can focus on because you can't change the past, but you can learn from it and avoid such situations in the future. :3
The worst part of crushes I've found is wondering what the other person thinks of you and either being to afraid to ask or what happened to you happening. I'm personally a very picky person when it comes to looking for relationships so when I do find someone I'm interested in, the fear of being shot down increases even more.
Regardless, I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and such. Not much can be done but to move forwards, which you have done
Just remember, we're here for you. And I somehow screwed up my AIM account soooooooo >_>; Yeah, I'll see about getting a new one soon.
Regardless, I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and such. Not much can be done but to move forwards, which you have done
Just remember, we're here for you. And I somehow screwed up my AIM account soooooooo >_>; Yeah, I'll see about getting a new one soon.
;; Ash I love you and I don't want to see anything less than you happy. Even though I knew about most of this, what you've written here put it all into persepctive for me so fully understand what you've been going through. Even if you are just a big dork, you are still an amazing person and are beautiful inside and out (regardless of what you say). I'm sorry that all of this happened, but at least you seem to be at a point where you can move on now hopefully, so you won't be stuck with the sads anymore. <333
ah, I know it's upsetting but you're not alone when it comes to this issue. Let me tell you, there are so many times that this is happened to me, I was beginning to think that my life was just a mess. I felt that I would be so alone for the rest of my life if I didn't have someone to crush on. And I had a few major ones and I would eventually sum up the courage and tell them how I feel. They then would think I was crazy and just either ignore me or treat me like shit so I'd have to avoid them. It really sucked, and then when I got into relationships finally, they all left me for other girls, well, they were actually seeing them while still dating me. I felt like I was cursed and that I was meant to be alone for the rest of my life. But with each of those experiences, I learned from my mistakes. They suck to go through but it's a life lesson that actually helped me in the end. Sure, you never appreciate them when they happen but in time, you learn and you feel better about yourself. Sadly, it's something that's going to happen in life and it's something that we can't avoid if we're looking to find someone to be with us. And the thing is, it's alright to cry and feel bitter, that just means that you have feelings and that you're a live. Don't feel too bad about them, just let it how and express how you are feeling. You have a right to do so and no one should tell you otherwise. I know it seems hopeless now but just keep yourself open and learn for what has happened. That's what's happened to me and now I have one of the best relationships that I could have ever asked for. It took a long time, but never give up sweetie, you're going to find that perfect mate and i know it *^-^* *hugs*
I think I should also speak up more. :X I know one thing for sure and it's that you seem to be a really nice person on the inside, that and your art work is amazing and incredibly inspiring! I'm hoping I can make it to AC in 2011 and meet the great person you are in person if you decide to go. If it makes you feel better, this is....GORGEOUS to say the least! <3 Vent art is a good way to let out steam, anger, or sadness so it's nice to see all your depression put into this beautiful piece! Keep up the great arts Vani! <3
I'm really sorry this is still bugging you Vani. >:
I know how it is...really I do. I still have crushes, but now I'm afraid of expressing myself,
only of fear of being rejected.
Also, I know how it is to feel like no one has an interest towards you.
It's been three years since I was in a relationship and not one as shown a liking to me. >.>;
I'm one of the nicest beings on this planet, probably in this whole damn universe. xD lol
Anyways, enough about me.
*gives you some fluffy hugs*
I'm sure in the near future, you'll find someone. :)
There's always someone out there for us, we just need to be patient I guess.
I know how it is...really I do. I still have crushes, but now I'm afraid of expressing myself,
only of fear of being rejected.
Also, I know how it is to feel like no one has an interest towards you.
It's been three years since I was in a relationship and not one as shown a liking to me. >.>;
I'm one of the nicest beings on this planet, probably in this whole damn universe. xD lol
Anyways, enough about me.
*gives you some fluffy hugs*
I'm sure in the near future, you'll find someone. :)
There's always someone out there for us, we just need to be patient I guess.
I know exactly where you're coming from with the whole "being affectionate but nobody knows it" thing. :<
Ever since.. well, ever since any of my friends have known me, I've been EXTREMELY introverted, and have kept everything inside, and have never come off as being affectionate at all, and now I'm regretting it big time. :<
I also know the feeling of thinking something is wrong with you 'cause no one will show interest in you. :c
I'm sure you'll find somebody though. :D
You seem like a really cool person, and you just need some patience, and someone will show up eventually.
(This coming from the single most impatient person on the planet. :<)
Ever since.. well, ever since any of my friends have known me, I've been EXTREMELY introverted, and have kept everything inside, and have never come off as being affectionate at all, and now I'm regretting it big time. :<
I also know the feeling of thinking something is wrong with you 'cause no one will show interest in you. :c
I'm sure you'll find somebody though. :D
You seem like a really cool person, and you just need some patience, and someone will show up eventually.
(This coming from the single most impatient person on the planet. :<)
I understand this feeling an awful lot. I've had something similar happen to me recently, and it damn near killed my heart. After so long, you start thinking that you aren't meant to be in a relationship with anyone, yet, everyone is meant to be with someone..
Hope you feel better. :C
Hope you feel better. :C
oh,Ash!I don't like seeing you sad and depressed.I know it's hard to be in situation like this but don't worry ,everything will be ok!I made it to make you feel better http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4864382/ you will be ok!
Awh Vani I'm so sorry ;_; I cant say I for sure know exactly how you are feeling but Im sure I can kind of guess and it really sucks..you are beautiful and talented and funny though and when you find someone for you, its going to have been worth the wait.
and its easy to say "im asexual" until you meet someone you really really like aahh jdsfhgfg love stinks, but this picture is really really amazing
and its easy to say "im asexual" until you meet someone you really really like aahh jdsfhgfg love stinks, but this picture is really really amazing
Aww...I wasn't gonna read all that...UNTIL I started and realized that you sound a lot like me last year o.o I went through things very similar to this...And I will tell you, it DOES seriously get better o.o I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it really does, and if things go right, you'll be glad it happened because you'll have learned a lot ^^
aww I'm so sorry Vani. I really hope you feel better. Don't worrryyyy everything gets better in time. I had a crush go..terribly wrong. Ended up in a relationship with him, and then I was lead on horribly and used for a year and it really was the worst thing I've ever experienced. But keep your chin up, things get better c: they alllways get better!
Heh I know what you mean I'm pretty much the same way or go about "Pfftt I don't need a relationship" but have gotten back into the oh man I really wish I were in a relationship mode again. All the love songs on the radio don't help too.
But I found out if I put that towards my friends, the affection, giving gifts, ect it helps ease all that and I don't have that time I get all down about relationships. So maybe putting that more towards friends might help I'm not really sure and all, sorry. But at least it allowed you to come to some understandings, even though it doesn't really ease up the anger/pain/whatever. You seem like a nice person, and honestly people just don't know what they are missing. But when it does come your way it'll be awesome <3.
I know I'm just some random person that hardly comments, but if you ever need to talk/talk on AIM I'm on often. Though I'll rarely start a convo and be all shy hah. But the offer is there.
On the art side I really like how this came out, some reason love how you draw the paws and the tail. All around its a really great picture, the mood and lighting really help you get the feeling.
But I found out if I put that towards my friends, the affection, giving gifts, ect it helps ease all that and I don't have that time I get all down about relationships. So maybe putting that more towards friends might help I'm not really sure and all, sorry. But at least it allowed you to come to some understandings, even though it doesn't really ease up the anger/pain/whatever. You seem like a nice person, and honestly people just don't know what they are missing. But when it does come your way it'll be awesome <3.
I know I'm just some random person that hardly comments, but if you ever need to talk/talk on AIM I'm on often. Though I'll rarely start a convo and be all shy hah. But the offer is there.
On the art side I really like how this came out, some reason love how you draw the paws and the tail. All around its a really great picture, the mood and lighting really help you get the feeling.
we LOVE you! our door is always open and you're welcome to come and visit/stay over as long as you want or need. you can come over, ignore us, and just talk to tai, even. whatever you need. please don't ever feel awkward about just inviting yourself over/along with us any time.
whatever you need, we're always right around the corner for you. ♥
whatever you need, we're always right around the corner for you. ♥
Aww, I am sorry to hear that Vani.
I know those feels too and I have been through it. *pats and hugs* ;A;
Hopefully you can pick up your head and move forward from this. I am sure you will find the right person for you and will be very happy with them as they are with you.
I know those feels too and I have been through it. *pats and hugs* ;A;
Hopefully you can pick up your head and move forward from this. I am sure you will find the right person for you and will be very happy with them as they are with you.
Oh boy does this makes sense. And how. Seriously, throughout the whole reading I just..ugh, words fail me right now, hold on. Let's put it this way, ok?
I know how you're feeling. Like....'holy shit this person is me' kind of feeling cause I tend to do the same thing except I really keep it all out on the inside. I kinda wish there was anything I could do or say at all to help you feel better other than the hugs and snuggies I want to give, but...I know it won't mean a lot if I don't keep doing it, so I'll just try to do just that instead c: I like to listen to people's problems, so if you ever feel like you need someone to dump these things on, I'm here to lend an ear or two, and discuss with you if you want ^^
Although I'm currently going through Hell just to keep up with my messages due to not getting much time on a comp anymore versus watching WAY too many people on here and on dA, but I ALWAYS give mandatory priority to all sorts of PMs both here and there C:
I know how you're feeling. Like....'holy shit this person is me' kind of feeling cause I tend to do the same thing except I really keep it all out on the inside. I kinda wish there was anything I could do or say at all to help you feel better other than the hugs and snuggies I want to give, but...I know it won't mean a lot if I don't keep doing it, so I'll just try to do just that instead c: I like to listen to people's problems, so if you ever feel like you need someone to dump these things on, I'm here to lend an ear or two, and discuss with you if you want ^^
Although I'm currently going through Hell just to keep up with my messages due to not getting much time on a comp anymore versus watching WAY too many people on here and on dA, but I ALWAYS give mandatory priority to all sorts of PMs both here and there C:
I can really identify with this, it's happened quite a few times in my life. It does get easier, and I think I'm around where you are emotionally right now. Like, it hurts but not as much, and more of a fuck this it's so annoying way. You still get that lump in your throat when you think about it, but eventually it gets easier to swallow.
You're a sweet girl; I don't know you personally but I've followed your work and ramblings long enough to be fairly confident of that. And so I wish you the best, and here's to things getting easier for all those going through things like this right now.
You're a sweet girl; I don't know you personally but I've followed your work and ramblings long enough to be fairly confident of that. And so I wish you the best, and here's to things getting easier for all those going through things like this right now.
"I'm going to wake up in a few hours and be like "fuck did I really post that wth is wrong with me"
This ALWAYS happens to me after a good vent. Feels good when I do it, but the next morning, I want to smack myself in the face for talking so much about such supposedly silly things. But, people must do what they must do in order to stay sane. A few pages of text is a worthy exchange for some piece of mind for your fans and friendly people. x3
I would not be one of them, I'm afraid. :/ I have... never in my life ever even been close to obtaining a relationship. Everyone I've ever crushed on has always been a very obvious 'no' (and by everyone, I mean that there was only one guy and he already had a girlfriend). So, I know nothing of relationships and am pretty dramatically convinced that I will be spending the rest of my life a worthless, lonely meat sack throwing up animation frames every now and then. I've never even gotten the chance to fall in love, so I can hardly make sense of the emotions that result from rejection.
Still, I think it was worth the shot. If I had been you, I would've done the exact same way... and, ironically, I bet I'd feel the exact same way. My depression tends to do that to me- alternating feelings of anger, despair, hopelessness, and general frustration all come together into this weird mental shit fest. Usually, venting (and an advil PM and a good night's sleep) set me somewhat straight. :3 Hope the same happens with you. I'm sure with time, this will pass enough that you can get on with your life.
This ALWAYS happens to me after a good vent. Feels good when I do it, but the next morning, I want to smack myself in the face for talking so much about such supposedly silly things. But, people must do what they must do in order to stay sane. A few pages of text is a worthy exchange for some piece of mind for your fans and friendly people. x3
I would not be one of them, I'm afraid. :/ I have... never in my life ever even been close to obtaining a relationship. Everyone I've ever crushed on has always been a very obvious 'no' (and by everyone, I mean that there was only one guy and he already had a girlfriend). So, I know nothing of relationships and am pretty dramatically convinced that I will be spending the rest of my life a worthless, lonely meat sack throwing up animation frames every now and then. I've never even gotten the chance to fall in love, so I can hardly make sense of the emotions that result from rejection.
Still, I think it was worth the shot. If I had been you, I would've done the exact same way... and, ironically, I bet I'd feel the exact same way. My depression tends to do that to me- alternating feelings of anger, despair, hopelessness, and general frustration all come together into this weird mental shit fest. Usually, venting (and an advil PM and a good night's sleep) set me somewhat straight. :3 Hope the same happens with you. I'm sure with time, this will pass enough that you can get on with your life.
I know you've probably heard this a couple times already, both things of which I'm going to say, but I know how you feel and everything is going to be alright.
I'm the same way as you are. I am a very affectionate person, sometimes I wonder if I'm too affectionate and I keep it mostly bottled up in fear of loosing friends/loved ones because of it. And being affectionate and wanting it returned isnt easy when your a rather large person and really hate your own appearance.
I know what your going through. My old boyfriend randomly stopped talking to me all together after we been going out for almost a year. He said he really liked me in the beginning, we had been friends since grade seven and even told me he had liked me since then. But then....he just suddenly stopped talking to me. Apparently he 'wasnt looking for a relationship' anymore, which he told my best friend, not me myself, also to only find out he had a crush on her.
After the breakup, I had convinced myself that no one would want me. No one would want an annoying fat slob like me. After the break up, one of my friends I knew for a couple years started hanging around with me to try and help get my confidence back. Over time I ended up falling for him. I was so scared of being hurt again, I stayed quiet about it. At a parent, he was asked 'In this room, who would you go out with?' A bunch of my friends were there, all the girls were A LOT prettier then I was, for sure, let alone all skinny so I just gave up even more hope know, thinking he would say one of their names, only to hear my own. I was so shocked, I didnt believe him at first, I thought he was joking. He then told me he really liked me and said those three words to me that made me believe it.
I Love You
Which my old boyfriend never said to me unless I said it to him first.
Now I'm probably just rambling now but. I just wanted to say, dont give up hope. I thought I would never find someone, but now I do have someone who really cares about me. I know people say relationships arent whats important in life....but sometimes they are. It can be emotionally straining on someone's body if they crave affection, but dont receive it.
I know how you feel man and I hope this has helped and that that you feel better soon
I'm the same way as you are. I am a very affectionate person, sometimes I wonder if I'm too affectionate and I keep it mostly bottled up in fear of loosing friends/loved ones because of it. And being affectionate and wanting it returned isnt easy when your a rather large person and really hate your own appearance.
I know what your going through. My old boyfriend randomly stopped talking to me all together after we been going out for almost a year. He said he really liked me in the beginning, we had been friends since grade seven and even told me he had liked me since then. But then....he just suddenly stopped talking to me. Apparently he 'wasnt looking for a relationship' anymore, which he told my best friend, not me myself, also to only find out he had a crush on her.
After the breakup, I had convinced myself that no one would want me. No one would want an annoying fat slob like me. After the break up, one of my friends I knew for a couple years started hanging around with me to try and help get my confidence back. Over time I ended up falling for him. I was so scared of being hurt again, I stayed quiet about it. At a parent, he was asked 'In this room, who would you go out with?' A bunch of my friends were there, all the girls were A LOT prettier then I was, for sure, let alone all skinny so I just gave up even more hope know, thinking he would say one of their names, only to hear my own. I was so shocked, I didnt believe him at first, I thought he was joking. He then told me he really liked me and said those three words to me that made me believe it.
I Love You
Which my old boyfriend never said to me unless I said it to him first.
Now I'm probably just rambling now but. I just wanted to say, dont give up hope. I thought I would never find someone, but now I do have someone who really cares about me. I know people say relationships arent whats important in life....but sometimes they are. It can be emotionally straining on someone's body if they crave affection, but dont receive it.
I know how you feel man and I hope this has helped and that that you feel better soon
Hey Vani, I've been lurking around you for a very long time. Back in the days of SROA. The early days. I've loved your art for god knows how long, and I have always, always admired you. I know a lot of people say the same thing, and I'm no different, I suppose. But really, I am so sorry that happened to you. It's happened to me, as well, and I understand where you're coming from completely. I'm one of those people that's kind of scared of being SINGLE, though. I pretty much always want someone with me. So even if I'm in a crappy relationship, I tend to stick with it because I don't want to be alone. I know a ton of people have already said stuff like this, but I just wanted to give you my sympathies as well because I've always loved you. I always thought you were super nice and always wished I could be your bff lol. Needless to say, you were my star and idol. I'm kinda creepy sounding now, I know, but truly that's how I feel.
As for this person who 'shot you down' so to speak... It'll be okay. I know you heard it a zillion times, so here's a zillion and one. I know how much it hurts. I had a boyfriend of over a year, and he suddenly changed. He just became a total dick, and eventually dumped me. I was devastated, as you are now. But I have to tell you, Vani, that it really does get better. You may feel crappy for a while, but someone WILL come along and totally make you feel alright. And even if someone doesn't come for a while, you definitely will start feeling better and love yourself again. Nothing is wrong with you, Vani. You're a wonderful person and deserve all the love in the world. I know you will find someone eventually. You're too beautiful not to. I know everyone says it too, but... I'm here for you if you EVER need to talk. Like ever. If you want my AIM/MSN, you can note me. I have no problem listening to your issues, and hell, if you want to call me and cry over the phone I don't mind at all. I'll be there for you if you want me there. I love ya, Vani. <3 Just remember you are a truly fantastic person, and don't let some stupid jerk get you down.
As for this person who 'shot you down' so to speak... It'll be okay. I know you heard it a zillion times, so here's a zillion and one. I know how much it hurts. I had a boyfriend of over a year, and he suddenly changed. He just became a total dick, and eventually dumped me. I was devastated, as you are now. But I have to tell you, Vani, that it really does get better. You may feel crappy for a while, but someone WILL come along and totally make you feel alright. And even if someone doesn't come for a while, you definitely will start feeling better and love yourself again. Nothing is wrong with you, Vani. You're a wonderful person and deserve all the love in the world. I know you will find someone eventually. You're too beautiful not to. I know everyone says it too, but... I'm here for you if you EVER need to talk. Like ever. If you want my AIM/MSN, you can note me. I have no problem listening to your issues, and hell, if you want to call me and cry over the phone I don't mind at all. I'll be there for you if you want me there. I love ya, Vani. <3 Just remember you are a truly fantastic person, and don't let some stupid jerk get you down.
Don't kid yourself. "I'm really flattered, but I don't do relationships" means "I don't do relationships with you."
I've made it to my late 20s without a serious relationship. Not fat, ugly, or a practicer of poor hygiene. It just wasn't something I sought. So when I found someone a few months ago, someone that I really thought meshed well with me and me with her, I was crushed to find out she "doesn't do relationships" ...with me. It was a fun few months, getting to know her, hanging out, receiving (what I thought were) strong signals she wanted to be more than just friends - then bam. I asked her out and it's over. I was hurt in ways I didn't know I could be hurt. I began to have questions: is anyone ever going to be physically attracted to me, etc.? Apparently this stuff matters more than we know.
But hey, maybe you'll find someone else someday.
I've made it to my late 20s without a serious relationship. Not fat, ugly, or a practicer of poor hygiene. It just wasn't something I sought. So when I found someone a few months ago, someone that I really thought meshed well with me and me with her, I was crushed to find out she "doesn't do relationships" ...with me. It was a fun few months, getting to know her, hanging out, receiving (what I thought were) strong signals she wanted to be more than just friends - then bam. I asked her out and it's over. I was hurt in ways I didn't know I could be hurt. I began to have questions: is anyone ever going to be physically attracted to me, etc.? Apparently this stuff matters more than we know.
But hey, maybe you'll find someone else someday.
Not necessarily true. Speaking from the other side of this. Granted for me it's all been online, but frankly, I don't think I will ever be interested in a relationship, online or not. I've gotten myself into far too many situations where people thought I loved them, then hinted at wanting a relationship, then when I stated the fact that I'm really not the 'relationship' type, they react as though I just told them that I hate them, I never liked them, and I never wanted to speak to them again. Evidently, I'm bad at seeing it coming. But the worst part is when they get all stalkerish afterward. If I ever told someone I didn't want a relationship, it doesn't mean I have a thing against them, it just means that I want to keep things exactly as they are - a friendship. It's gotten to the point that I've had to put a big bright orange underlined disclaimer on my FA just to nip it in the bud.
Just gonna say that you have way more balls than me to just march up and tell a person your feelings. Shot down or not, you're fucking brave and bravo for that. I've always been a believer that love finds you more so than you find it - so yeah, it sucks. It hurts. But I'm sure you won't be one of those people alone for the rest of their lives. It'll get better, I promise.
p.s. I read the entire thing, haha.
ALSO!! If you ever want to chat on AIM or anything, I'm pretty much always on. We talked a few times on MSN (I think? Or maybe that was Yahoo, I don't remember) because we were gonna rp, but I think we both got busy and it never happened. I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN, THOUGH~.
p.s. I read the entire thing, haha.
ALSO!! If you ever want to chat on AIM or anything, I'm pretty much always on. We talked a few times on MSN (I think? Or maybe that was Yahoo, I don't remember) because we were gonna rp, but I think we both got busy and it never happened. I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN, THOUGH~.
Wow you are very brave coming out with your feelings to him like that, I agree with chow-chow.
Funny, I'm sorta going through the same feelings right now. Except I knew this person loved me and he lied to me. It still felt like he just SHOT me down. And I'm still kinda hurt from it, it kinda stopped me from drawing.(Which is real shitty that I am letting it affect me like this.)
But then you begin to weigh out the good and bad from it and think to yourself, hm is it really worth another day of being in pain? If this friendship is so good to hold onto, then why is is giving me so much grief?
Gosh it's so damn hard when you are put-down by someone you admire and care for. And then after you get used to them it's like a void you feel. So I'm so sorry, I know how this feels. But you'll find other much nicer people who will treat you waaayyy better as time goes by. I really don't know much about you, I've followed your works here and there and your art in the past on DA and have seen you as a fabulous talented artist. But just from viewing your works and reading this I can tell you are a very nice person, who just stumbled across a guy who was totally not worth it in the end.
I'm very sorry to hear that. Please feel better.
This is a really great drawing by the way. So much emotion and detail <3
Funny, I'm sorta going through the same feelings right now. Except I knew this person loved me and he lied to me. It still felt like he just SHOT me down. And I'm still kinda hurt from it, it kinda stopped me from drawing.(Which is real shitty that I am letting it affect me like this.)
But then you begin to weigh out the good and bad from it and think to yourself, hm is it really worth another day of being in pain? If this friendship is so good to hold onto, then why is is giving me so much grief?
Gosh it's so damn hard when you are put-down by someone you admire and care for. And then after you get used to them it's like a void you feel. So I'm so sorry, I know how this feels. But you'll find other much nicer people who will treat you waaayyy better as time goes by. I really don't know much about you, I've followed your works here and there and your art in the past on DA and have seen you as a fabulous talented artist. But just from viewing your works and reading this I can tell you are a very nice person, who just stumbled across a guy who was totally not worth it in the end.
I'm very sorry to hear that. Please feel better.
This is a really great drawing by the way. So much emotion and detail <3
*huggles and gives a cupcake* Boy do I know how that feels. Until I met my love (on the internet LOLZ) every person who I ever liked I tried to tell them and they NEVER SPOKE TO ME AGAIN O^O anywho, I've watched your art on DA for a long time now and you've always seemed pretty awesome C: I'm usually on Skype a lot so if you'd like it just let me know and we can chat <3 :3 Hang in there!
WELL if this story doesn't sound familiar :C... im in the exact situation, I fall head over heels for someone and i kid you not EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. i throw myself to them i get shot down. It's happened for what seems forever now :\ As much as I've given up hope, trust me, you'll find somebody c: You seem very nice, any guy is a fool to give up the opportunity to have you
the trick is to -have- self esteem my lovely. to just move on and realize there's other people out there you are going to meet, so you shouldn't dwell on something for so long. sure, a few days is okay and it's healthy! but then baby time is over, you need to straighten yourself up and realize better things are waiting, you just have to find them.
i've been through it all before and I hope what i say makes an impact on you and somehow makes it to you, because it really does help, when you just slap yourself in the face (metaphorically) and wake up and realize, the sun will always rise again.
i've been through it all before and I hope what i say makes an impact on you and somehow makes it to you, because it really does help, when you just slap yourself in the face (metaphorically) and wake up and realize, the sun will always rise again.
Comments