Tzimmes Cracked Corn (And I Don’t Care)
A Spontoon Island story
© 2022 Walter Reimer
(Characters courtesy of M. Mitch Marmel, J.T. Urie and E.O. Costello. Thanks!)
Thumbnail pic © Hal Roach Studios. Reproduced under fair use. Suggested by
Major Matt Mason
30.
Vee:
Yeah, it was pretty obvious that the party was over.
A few of the girls from the Lotus followed us up to the entrance to Shepherd’s. One of them told me when I asked that since the Constabulary was otherwise occupied, they wanted to make sure we got back to the hotel safely. It was very nice of them, and a lovely gesture of feminine solidarity.
Another one said that they wanted to make sure that Willow didn’t try to take a detour and wreck the jail.
Willow paused in the lobby long enough to scowl at the doors leading into the bar. One of the doors was slightly askew; looked like the bottom hinge had come loose. I didn’t get close enough to see, but I could hear someone sweeping up broken glass.
Seeing it served to remind me that Allan was also in jail. Well, safest place for him, if you know what I mean. Really, a man of his age getting into a bar fight.
I was worried about Franklin, though.
So we all went up to Willow’s rooms, and Rosie, bless her, put herself in front of the door. “Willow.”
“What,” my goddaughter said sullenly.
The cheetah raised a finger. “No shouting. For once, this isn’t Reggie’s fault, and you don’t want to wake Tommy up, do you?”
Willow stood there for a moment, then sighed and nodded, gesturing for Rosie to stand aside as she fished her room key out of her purse. She unlocked the door and went in, with the rest of us right behind her.
Reggie’s butler, Lodge, was waiting there. “Mrs. Buckhorn.”
“Where is Reggie, Lodge?”
“Mr. Buckhorn is washing his paws, Ma’am. I have taken the liberty of setting out the coffee service and a tray of sandwiches.”
The beaver’s steady presence seemed to calm Willow a little, and Lodge stepped aside so that we could come in, and as we all sat down Reggie came out of the bathroom. “Hullo, everyone,” he said. He had shed his jacket and tie, and he immediately went to hug his mate.
She clung to him while the rest of us waited, and when she withdrew Grace asked, “Reggie, what happened?”
“Sit down, please, and I’ll – “
“You’ll tell me now,” she growled.
***
Rosie:
“Okeh,” I said, “that’ll do. Willow, have a seat.” She turned to give me some sass, and I pointed at a chair. “Sit. Now.” My tone didn’t give her much wiggle room, so she sat down, seething. “Reggie?”
“Hm! Oh! Er, ah, yes, the whole story. Righto, here we go,” and he started to tell all of us what happened.
While he recounted all of the goings-on, I saw Vee pick up the phone. She turned her back on the rest of us and cupped a paw over the pawset.
Now, you wouldn't think Franneleh would be much of a fighter. He's certainly a lover, and that’s all you bunch need to know about that, thank you very much.
Hee!
It still warmed my heart to hear that he’d walloped that mamzer Wakefield in the nose. Fighting for my honor, it’s so romantic. Toni, Vicky, Kara, and Athena listened carefully, with Kara looking like she was about to start laughing at the idea of her brother, Sergeant Brush, being in jail, and Athena looking relieved that her husband had missed the dragnet.
Grace was still growling as Reggie finished his tale, and I took a swallow of my coffee and said, “Okeh, we’ve all got an early morning of it tomorrow, so I say we all get some – “
“No,” Grace hissed, getting to her hooves.
Sproing!
I pointed a claw at her and I hissed right back at her. “Sit. Down.”
She promptly sat, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Reggie had his paws over his nose. Doubtless recalling the last time I got angry, and poinked him.
I kept down the feeling that I was becoming my mother, loomed over my daughter-in-law, and said, “Now, listen, little girl. You’re overwrought, you’re tired. You’re going to go to bed and get some sleep so you can be presentable in the morning.”
“No I’m not,” Willow said. “There’ll be a smoking hole where that Embassy was by sunup.”
“No.”
“Objection!” Heads turned to look at Reggie, who promptly flattened his ears.
Brought up short, Grace asked, “On what grounds?”
“Errrr . . . aahhhh. Conflict of interest?”
“What?”
“Objection sustained,” I promptly said.
Grace snapped her head around to stare at me. “WHAT?!”
“Quiet,” I said, nodding in the direction of the nursery, and thank God, she shut up. “Look, you know I’m right.” I heard Vee hang up the phone. “Well, Vee? What’s going on?”
“I talked to the desk sergeant,” the minkess said as she made herself a cup of coffee. “First, no one’s dead or even badly hurt – “
“Da?” Willow was back.
“Sore knuckles, but that’s all,” Vee replied. Hee! “Allan, Pierre, and Brush got him out of the way immediately. But it’s going to be a tough night for the Constabulary, with most of their force in jail.” She looked at Willow. “So no giving them extra work to do.”
Kara spoke up. “Did he say who was running court in the morning?”
“I didn’t ask.” Vee looked at everyone. “I move that we all get some sleep, ladies, and reconvene at the courthouse tomorrow morning.”
“Seconded,” Kara said.
“All in favor?” I asked, and everyone but Willow raised their paws. “Motion carries. Good night, all of you, and thanks for the party.” As people started to get up, I asked, “Reggie?”
“Yes, Rosie?”
I leaned in close. “Keep an eye on her.” Willow’s shoulders were shaking as she buried her nose in a pawkerchief.
“Oh. Righto.”
After everyone left, I lingered behind for a little while to make sure that she got off to bed. Grace’s request for a map of all the gas mains on the island was quietly rebuffed.
***
Stagg:
While I have often visited various persons inside the jail, this is the first time I have ever been a resident of one of the cells. It’s not my room at the Nerzmann’s, and it is certainly not Rosie’s apartment over Luchow’s.
But it’s not a certain cellar in New Haven City, so I will count my blessings.
“Feeling all right, Franklin?” Allan asked. I nodded and he said, “That was a very good punch.”
“I’m surprised I could still do that,” I confessed, massaging my right paw. “Are you all right, my friend?”
“Not a mark on me, which will please Vee - somewhat.” He chuckled wearily. “Been a long night.”
And it had. There wasn’t much room to lie down, unless one chose the floor. As it was, many of the constables were sleeping sitting against the walls. Or at least attempting to sleep, as the diminutive bartender who had been arrested with us had spent the night singing Spanish Anarchist songs at the top of his lungs in an effort to irritate Ambassador Wakefield and the other members of the New Haven Embassy staff.
The Rain Island contingent was clustered together in another cell. They’d been remarkably quiet after Captain Maxwell had finally stopped one sailor from repeatedly proclaiming that he was going to get a tattoo commemorating the event.
I was sitting there, considering options after the Althing fired me. Perhaps Rosie would hire me as a cashier at Luchow’s.
Chief Sapper stirred awake and saw Allan and I talking, and the bulldog asked, “How are you holding up, Franklin?”
“Well as can be expected, Charles,” I replied. “What do you think the Interior Minister will do?”
He chuckled. “If I know him, nothing.” He looked up as the previously dim lighting went out, to be replaced by brighter lights. “This has given me some insight, though.”
“Yes?”
“Yes. I plan on petitioning the Althing for a slight increase in the jail’s budget for paint and maintenance,” and he managed to get to his feet as one of the constables started to walk past the cell. “Good morning,” the Chief said.
“’Morning, Boss,” the canine said. “Breakfast will be soon.” He paused and looked in the cell, making sure that all of us were alive.
“Good. Tell me, do you know who the judge is this morning?”
“The new one, I think,” and he resumed his rounds.
<NEXT>
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST>
A Spontoon Island story
© 2022 Walter Reimer
(Characters courtesy of M. Mitch Marmel, J.T. Urie and E.O. Costello. Thanks!)
Thumbnail pic © Hal Roach Studios. Reproduced under fair use. Suggested by
Major Matt Mason30.
Vee:
Yeah, it was pretty obvious that the party was over.
A few of the girls from the Lotus followed us up to the entrance to Shepherd’s. One of them told me when I asked that since the Constabulary was otherwise occupied, they wanted to make sure we got back to the hotel safely. It was very nice of them, and a lovely gesture of feminine solidarity.
Another one said that they wanted to make sure that Willow didn’t try to take a detour and wreck the jail.
Willow paused in the lobby long enough to scowl at the doors leading into the bar. One of the doors was slightly askew; looked like the bottom hinge had come loose. I didn’t get close enough to see, but I could hear someone sweeping up broken glass.
Seeing it served to remind me that Allan was also in jail. Well, safest place for him, if you know what I mean. Really, a man of his age getting into a bar fight.
I was worried about Franklin, though.
So we all went up to Willow’s rooms, and Rosie, bless her, put herself in front of the door. “Willow.”
“What,” my goddaughter said sullenly.
The cheetah raised a finger. “No shouting. For once, this isn’t Reggie’s fault, and you don’t want to wake Tommy up, do you?”
Willow stood there for a moment, then sighed and nodded, gesturing for Rosie to stand aside as she fished her room key out of her purse. She unlocked the door and went in, with the rest of us right behind her.
Reggie’s butler, Lodge, was waiting there. “Mrs. Buckhorn.”
“Where is Reggie, Lodge?”
“Mr. Buckhorn is washing his paws, Ma’am. I have taken the liberty of setting out the coffee service and a tray of sandwiches.”
The beaver’s steady presence seemed to calm Willow a little, and Lodge stepped aside so that we could come in, and as we all sat down Reggie came out of the bathroom. “Hullo, everyone,” he said. He had shed his jacket and tie, and he immediately went to hug his mate.
She clung to him while the rest of us waited, and when she withdrew Grace asked, “Reggie, what happened?”
“Sit down, please, and I’ll – “
“You’ll tell me now,” she growled.
***
Rosie:
“Okeh,” I said, “that’ll do. Willow, have a seat.” She turned to give me some sass, and I pointed at a chair. “Sit. Now.” My tone didn’t give her much wiggle room, so she sat down, seething. “Reggie?”
“Hm! Oh! Er, ah, yes, the whole story. Righto, here we go,” and he started to tell all of us what happened.
While he recounted all of the goings-on, I saw Vee pick up the phone. She turned her back on the rest of us and cupped a paw over the pawset.
Now, you wouldn't think Franneleh would be much of a fighter. He's certainly a lover, and that’s all you bunch need to know about that, thank you very much.
Hee!
It still warmed my heart to hear that he’d walloped that mamzer Wakefield in the nose. Fighting for my honor, it’s so romantic. Toni, Vicky, Kara, and Athena listened carefully, with Kara looking like she was about to start laughing at the idea of her brother, Sergeant Brush, being in jail, and Athena looking relieved that her husband had missed the dragnet.
Grace was still growling as Reggie finished his tale, and I took a swallow of my coffee and said, “Okeh, we’ve all got an early morning of it tomorrow, so I say we all get some – “
“No,” Grace hissed, getting to her hooves.
Sproing!
I pointed a claw at her and I hissed right back at her. “Sit. Down.”
She promptly sat, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Reggie had his paws over his nose. Doubtless recalling the last time I got angry, and poinked him.
I kept down the feeling that I was becoming my mother, loomed over my daughter-in-law, and said, “Now, listen, little girl. You’re overwrought, you’re tired. You’re going to go to bed and get some sleep so you can be presentable in the morning.”
“No I’m not,” Willow said. “There’ll be a smoking hole where that Embassy was by sunup.”
“No.”
“Objection!” Heads turned to look at Reggie, who promptly flattened his ears.
Brought up short, Grace asked, “On what grounds?”
“Errrr . . . aahhhh. Conflict of interest?”
“What?”
“Objection sustained,” I promptly said.
Grace snapped her head around to stare at me. “WHAT?!”
“Quiet,” I said, nodding in the direction of the nursery, and thank God, she shut up. “Look, you know I’m right.” I heard Vee hang up the phone. “Well, Vee? What’s going on?”
“I talked to the desk sergeant,” the minkess said as she made herself a cup of coffee. “First, no one’s dead or even badly hurt – “
“Da?” Willow was back.
“Sore knuckles, but that’s all,” Vee replied. Hee! “Allan, Pierre, and Brush got him out of the way immediately. But it’s going to be a tough night for the Constabulary, with most of their force in jail.” She looked at Willow. “So no giving them extra work to do.”
Kara spoke up. “Did he say who was running court in the morning?”
“I didn’t ask.” Vee looked at everyone. “I move that we all get some sleep, ladies, and reconvene at the courthouse tomorrow morning.”
“Seconded,” Kara said.
“All in favor?” I asked, and everyone but Willow raised their paws. “Motion carries. Good night, all of you, and thanks for the party.” As people started to get up, I asked, “Reggie?”
“Yes, Rosie?”
I leaned in close. “Keep an eye on her.” Willow’s shoulders were shaking as she buried her nose in a pawkerchief.
“Oh. Righto.”
After everyone left, I lingered behind for a little while to make sure that she got off to bed. Grace’s request for a map of all the gas mains on the island was quietly rebuffed.
***
Stagg:
While I have often visited various persons inside the jail, this is the first time I have ever been a resident of one of the cells. It’s not my room at the Nerzmann’s, and it is certainly not Rosie’s apartment over Luchow’s.
But it’s not a certain cellar in New Haven City, so I will count my blessings.
“Feeling all right, Franklin?” Allan asked. I nodded and he said, “That was a very good punch.”
“I’m surprised I could still do that,” I confessed, massaging my right paw. “Are you all right, my friend?”
“Not a mark on me, which will please Vee - somewhat.” He chuckled wearily. “Been a long night.”
And it had. There wasn’t much room to lie down, unless one chose the floor. As it was, many of the constables were sleeping sitting against the walls. Or at least attempting to sleep, as the diminutive bartender who had been arrested with us had spent the night singing Spanish Anarchist songs at the top of his lungs in an effort to irritate Ambassador Wakefield and the other members of the New Haven Embassy staff.
The Rain Island contingent was clustered together in another cell. They’d been remarkably quiet after Captain Maxwell had finally stopped one sailor from repeatedly proclaiming that he was going to get a tattoo commemorating the event.
I was sitting there, considering options after the Althing fired me. Perhaps Rosie would hire me as a cashier at Luchow’s.
Chief Sapper stirred awake and saw Allan and I talking, and the bulldog asked, “How are you holding up, Franklin?”
“Well as can be expected, Charles,” I replied. “What do you think the Interior Minister will do?”
He chuckled. “If I know him, nothing.” He looked up as the previously dim lighting went out, to be replaced by brighter lights. “This has given me some insight, though.”
“Yes?”
“Yes. I plan on petitioning the Althing for a slight increase in the jail’s budget for paint and maintenance,” and he managed to get to his feet as one of the constables started to walk past the cell. “Good morning,” the Chief said.
“’Morning, Boss,” the canine said. “Breakfast will be soon.” He paused and looked in the cell, making sure that all of us were alive.
“Good. Tell me, do you know who the judge is this morning?”
“The new one, I think,” and he resumed his rounds.
<NEXT>
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST>
Category Story / General Furry Art
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Interesting.
Grace wants to repeat her previous performance from New Haven on their embassy on Spontoon. I can see why Rosie shut her down quickly.
Still, it'll be interesting to see the fallout of this from the judge's point of view. Finding out most of the held members of this fight is part of the local police and neighboring military forces from Rain Island might cause a judge to consider just how to solve this.
Of course, personally, I'd congratulate Franklin for planting one on the Ambassador's snout. Then say if it had been me, I'd have used a chair, just to get the message across. :)
I'm sure that the Ambassador and crew, since they started this mess, will be charged and fined for the incident. Maybe even having the Althing request the Ambassador be sent home in disgrace. Might even throw in a charge of disturbing the peace for the Embassy's loudspeaker blasting the normal peace and quiet over Franklin's and Rosie's upcoming marriage.
Grace wants to repeat her previous performance from New Haven on their embassy on Spontoon. I can see why Rosie shut her down quickly.
Still, it'll be interesting to see the fallout of this from the judge's point of view. Finding out most of the held members of this fight is part of the local police and neighboring military forces from Rain Island might cause a judge to consider just how to solve this.
Of course, personally, I'd congratulate Franklin for planting one on the Ambassador's snout. Then say if it had been me, I'd have used a chair, just to get the message across. :)
I'm sure that the Ambassador and crew, since they started this mess, will be charged and fined for the incident. Maybe even having the Althing request the Ambassador be sent home in disgrace. Might even throw in a charge of disturbing the peace for the Embassy's loudspeaker blasting the normal peace and quiet over Franklin's and Rosie's upcoming marriage.
FA+

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