You asked for a proofread, but I'm afraid you're delving into questions of general relativity, which is not something I'm well-versed in, or have any understanding beyond very casual. Sorry. I'm fairly across special relativity, but that doesn't address the warped space-time that you get with large gravitational fields, which seems to be what you're presenting. I'm not sure if what you have here is correct, simply because I'm not familiar with it.

But, at least one thing I might add that might be useful is to point out that gravitational effects are not the only sources of red or blue shifts. Usually the first thing you think of with these frequency shifts is in fact due to different relative velocities of the source and observer. It's a lot like the Doppler effect for sound. Light itself can only travel at one speed (in a vacuum), so as the light wave is absorbed by an observer moving at a velocity relative to the source, the peaks and troughs in the wave come faster (for observer/source moving towards each other) or slower (moving away from each other), which is what causes the shift. That doesn't have anything to do with the warping of space-time, though, but comes about because of the constancy of the speed of light.

There's also the effect of length contraction, which is in special relativity, and due to relative motion. You might be right in what you've presented, though I'm not sure if you're confusing it with length contraction, which doesn't require warped space-time either.