Next thing you know, she is off to get a towel for the wet pussy, and wondering if the heat is getting to the guy going on about Camel Toes. And she does not own a donkey, let alone an Ass.

A typical day in the life of Amelia, to be sure.

HB

And then the confusion, as someone askes to see her Spread Eagle. What Eagle, she does not own an Eagle...

She'll probably assume it's a charity... one that hopes to spread the endangered eagle across the land.

HB

I suppose that some n'ere-do-well blackguard would most likely say something to the effect...

"Well miss, that is all well and good but I am afraid that I would not be doing my job if I didn't have you remove your sweater so I might personally make both a visual and hands-on confirmation there are no Sweater puppies under your clothing. Come to think of it perhaps I should have you drop your trousers and bend over so I may make a proper search to see if you possess a tight bushy beaver and a hidden booty worth a Swedish bike ride."

"Ah, you must be the man from Animal Control, then? Well, before we deal with any of that, can we address the elephant in the room? I found a large paintbrush, but I shall have to borrow some postage stamps from you... many, in fact. As for the bushy beaver, I named him Netflix, as he provides a streaming service. For that, I made sure to knit him not ONE bootie, but four, and they are quite out in the open, sir. And finally, I always refuse Swedes this close to dinner, sir. Ruins the appetite."

HB