So I've been really trying to avoid doing this, but I think I'm literally at a point where it can not be avoided.

I am officially going on a short hiatus until about mid-June.

I've been somewhat on an un-official hiatus for a few weeks now but I really am at a stage where for my mental health I need to make it set. I have been taking the past few weeks to work on packing and prepping for a big trip I have planned in May. With that came a heck ton of stress both mentally and physically as things have not been going as smoothly as I had hoped. Now while things are progressing much more calmly now, there has been several changes to my trip plans and other complications. If everything goes to plan, I will be in Canada by the beginning of June now.

WHAT ABOUT MY ART?
Well in truth I have been trying on and off to keep some progress going and... it is starting to not be good for me. At first I just physically wore myself out to a point that I did not have the energy to hold a pen for long, but not I'm having a massive bout of art block due to stress. To help with everything going on, I am just going to outright remove all pressure on producing anything. I'm not promising to continue my comic or anything else until after the move. Does this mean I wont be doing any art at all? Probably not, once I've rested a bit I'm sure I'll be getting back into the swing of things but I'll be doing so with no expectations for a bit. I will likely just continue these short update doodles at most as they have been very therapeutic.

So what changed?
Little disclaimer here, just going to be talking really quick about mental health and CPTSD mostly because I'm still learning about this junk and maybe talking about it will help others whom haven't realized they might be suffering similarly. Folks, I'm in my 30s and no one ever mentioned this junk to me before.

So yeah, biggest reason I'm making this hiatus official is due to a few complications that have very recently been brought to my attention about my mental health. For those new here, I have gone back into therapy rather recently and it has rather opened my eyes a lot to just how deeply I've been messed up over the years. I knew for a long time that I suffered from depression and anxiety since having taken therapy some 10ish years ago, but recently I was diagnosed with CPTSD or complex post-traumatic disorder. What is CPTSD? Basically I've been through hell. Repeatedly. Very often in a way that resulted in me thinking very abusive environments and behavior was just a normal part of every day life. I'm still rather coming to terms with the fact that professionals have helped me to realize that most of my life was actually living in abuse, be it from family or those I considered friends at the time.
Point is, I'm a bit messed up. This has resulted in some... very new and interesting affects or awareness of symptoms.

So lets just get this out there, I am now aware that what I experience as a big symptom of my CPTSD, beyond the standard depression and anxiety, is some form of flashbacks on the regular. As stupid as this sounds, I've probably been experiencing flashbacks since my teens, I just didn't realize they were flashbacks or that normal people don't just deal with that on the regular either. Yeah, sometimes when things don't come up in regular discussion, they can kind of be passed off as just normal and not worth talking about. Also I'm just dumb. Super dumb.

Anyways, recently I've been experiencing something NEW. Some freaked out form of flashbacks that come off as just full blown sensory memories that will not go away. I hate it. Basically I've been smelling cigarette smoke for nearly 3 days now and no, there is no cigarettes anywhere. I live in a non smoking complex, I've cleaned EVERYTHING like 2X over, and I can still smell it while walking out and about in the open air with high winds driving every other smell away. Apparently I've reached a state of stress that my flashbacks are instead manifesting as a persistent memory inducing smell that will never end. I REALLY hate it.

This has been the biggest shove in my face red flag mental health symptom I've had in a long while. Still, I didn't think it was anything until I mentioned it to a friend who pointed out that it someone else she knew had a similar type of sensory hallucinations. Yeah, once again I'm dumb and needed someone else to tell me the not normal thing is not normal.

I'm rambling. Point is, I need a proper break. I can't take a true break from EVERYTHING because... planning a major trip still, but at least I will be taking a break from all art obligations for a bit. Will still pop on here and there to give updates, especially around the pet shenanigans, but not making any definitive promised.

Outside of packing, I'm just going to sip tea, hang with friends, and wait for my brain to cool it.