Part 2, enjoy!

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Tranced Thief Twins (Part 2)



Starring: Lifty and Shifty

Guest Starring: Kaa

Featuring: Cro-Marmot, Flaky, Giggles, Nutty, Lumpy, Flippy/Fliqpy



Shifty snickered as he leaned back in the twins’ van. Somehow, no matter how many times he betrayed Lifty, his brother still never seemed to see it coming. For crying out loud, he even mentioned one of those times and was still surprised! These kinds of things were why Lifty was probably being eaten by a snake in their apartment, and why he was making a bunch of money stealing dead people’s wallets (Thanks, Fliqpy. …Not a sentence he ever thought would come up).

Lifty would be fine; the one good thing about living here was that death wasn’t permanent. Give it a day or so, and you’d come back to life in your home.


…Which contained the snake.


…Who could just eat Lifty again if he stuck around.


…Had he just trapped Lifty in an endless loop of dying?


…Okay, if he didn’t hear from Lifty in the next two days, he was spending the money on an exterminator. He was NOT leaving Lifty to that.

Shifty was snapped from his thoughts by his phone ringing. Looking at the caller ID, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was Lifty.


…Wait, he was alive?!


…That was actually impressive. He’d have to congratulate him later.


In the meantime, Lifty had some choice words for him, most of which were a bit hard to hear between the cursing and insults. The joke was on him, apparently; Mas – Kaa had turned out to be a very reasonable businessman, who was disgusted by how Lifty had been treated, and was making a deal with him and him alone. Lifty was getting a cash advance, which he’d be hiding where Shifty would never find it, and getting in on Mas – the snake’s pet business. (None of which were dangerous, by the way; just normal animals, not even like those dogs that went crazy when you blew a whistle.) Still, they were brothers, and there were going to be a lot of pets, so he might be willing to give Shifty a small cut.

Shifty promptly hung up on him.



Kaa gave Lifty a confused look as his pet gave him a cheerful thumbs up. That was his idea of “Convince him to come here, but act normal, don’t let him know anything’s going on”?


…What was wrong with these two?!



Shifty put the van in park and ran through the front entrance. The deal sounded too good to be true. He’d be suspicious, but this was Lifty; betrayal never seemed to occur to the guy! Somehow, he’d lucked out.


Shifty made it to the elevator and hit the button for his floor. If Lifty thought he was getting away with all that money, he had another thing comi-


Why was he hearing screaming?


Kaa could only look out the window in complete bafflement as a firework went off in a shower of red, flaming quills falling from the sky as people ran about in a panic below. A moose in a fire truck drove through the area, valiantly attempting to spray the quills out of the sky with his hose, oblivious to the people he was accidentally running over, and the berserk bear hurling quills at him like darts.

…Never mind the raccoons, what was wrong with this town?!



Shifty shrugged; whatever was going on, it didn’t sound like it was in this building. He could go see if there was any money to be made later. Right now, he just needed to get to his apartment, and Lifty-


Who apparently had rainbow eyes now? What the-


Lifty cheerfully greeted him, eyes swirling with color. He was wondering when Shifty would get here. Kaa had all kinds of cool stuff! Like this thing that gave you any eye color!


…Huh. He wasn’t sure what that had to do with pets, but it sounded like something they could sell and get at least a decent chunk of buyers. He had to hand it to Lifty, he’d done great!


Lifty beamed, eagerly ushering his brother inside.


Shifty looked around. He wasn’t seeing any pets. Did Kaa keep them somewhere, or-


Why was Lifty standing in front of the door?


The next thing Shifty knew, he was up to his neck in coils. The raccoon frantically tried to struggle free, but to no avail. He glared at Lifty; what was he doing?!


Kaa chuckled, patting Lifty with his tail, calling him a good boy. Lifty purred happily as Shifty could only stare in disbelief. What had he done to his brother?!


Nothing permanent, Kaa replied. Just something to cheer him up after Shifty had left. And now, something to cheer Shifty up!


The snake’s eyes began to swirl, and Shifty’s struggles ceased, the raccoon staring openmouthed at the sight. Every color had its own special shine, and he wanted to see every one; he wasn’t letting Lifty hog them! Kaa gestured for him to come closer, and Shifty obliged, his pupils shrinking as he leaned over the coils, eager to see more. Ring after ring enraptured the raccoon, a smile creeping up on his face as his thoughts were swept aside. The snake’s coils shifted and squeezed in a loving, cuddly caress, and Shifty was reduced to a moaning, delighted mess, practically drooling as Kaa’s voice filled his head: how he was a good raccoon, how good raccoons were soft, snuggly, and spiral-eyed, how good raccoons were good pets, fulfilling their master’s every need – food, companionship, entertainment, anything – and how their master would take their thoughts and troubles, leaving them free for a life of colors, coils and praise.


Shifty had never agreed faster; of course he’d be Master’s pet! He’d be coiled and cared for, controlled by colors, and loved all the more for it. He couldn’t imagine a better life than that!


Kaa’s coils tightened, and with a squeeze to the neck, Shifty broke into a goofy grin as a PING! echoed in his empty head.


Lifty jumped for joy; Master had done it! He and Shifty were going to be the best pets ever!


Kaa chuckled, ruffling his raccoons’ fur. There could never be enough cuddly pets in the world, empty-headed and obedient, ready to have fun with their master. In this case, though, there was something to do first.

He turned to Shifty, and asked; how did he honestly feel about his brother, deep down?


Shifty’s reply was immediate; he loved him, wanted the best for him. He wanted Lifty to survive in a world that did them no favors, to be ready for anything.


Lifty’s jaw dropped. That was why Shifty kept turning on him?


Well, that and he liked having money. Also, the look on his face was hilarious.

Kaa face-tailed. Apparently, even at their absolute best, some people were just jerks.

He was going to fix that.


Starting the spirals again, he talked to Shifty: telling him how he’d be nicer to his brother, let him know he cared more often, in or out of trance; no more betrayals. As long as Kaa was his master, he’d obey Lifty’s orders as well (Master’s orders coming first, of course.). Shifty would also be a bit nicer to people in general.


Shifty nodded happily, and Kaa turned to Lifty. Lifty was going to be nicer to Shifty even out of trance, and a bit nicer to people in general; the two of them might actually make some friends. In the meantime, he was in charge of Shifty.


Lifty gave him a thumbs up, and Kaa smiled, wrapping his coils around Lifty. They’d have so many good times together; and the raccoons would be helpful for future pets. If today was anything to go by, surviving a day here was not something to take for granted; he’d need all the help he could get.

In the meantime, though, he just wanted to snuggle.