This has a deep meaning, no doubt. :)
Good job on this, though the fox looks a little flat here. :P

oh thank you, yeah.... fox came out weird =P

1. There's little tweaks you could do the muzzle.
2. Deep, man. Deep.
3. Do you think you could have distributed this out as a warning when I first met you, lol.

1. uh, yeah... he's actually looking down, so I'm not sure how that works =P
2. Yeah u.u Thanks man.
3. Lol, of course, but i wasn't over him when i met you, I was "weird", sorry bud.

lol, you even read my rant?

heh... I'm not worried I wont find him, I'm worried that I wont be able to love back..... </3

I wish I were like that, ....

but my emotional disconnection from my life happened so long ago, I can barely remember the times I felt something strong and bonding with even family members.

*opens it anyway and is abhorred*

well you have to identify. if you developed in an unusual, very internal-laden way, as in connected to some kind of special skill or surrounding/situation (cant think of something different right now), it just narrows down the options without working on yourself in excrutiating ways, which might or might not be helpful. I like to see it as a forced-upon investment, and as long as you embrace it, my experience is that such things pay off extremely well, its just that the brick walls fight back in so many ways until that point. another thing is that they wont vanish "at that point" and still, things get easy enough, stable, so that you get freeer, as in, how you want it, not how people say freedom looks. your freedom. mmmh until youre there Id think itd be a nice idea to actually spend a ritual about these brickwalls, thank them for being there, not because you believe in it (emotions certainly dont, as long as you ask those questions at least) but just because to remind your image of purpose how it came into being and where it goes, to safe it from getting lost in the details. as long as you accept that "purpose" in the first place that is~

wow, although I appreciate the thoughts, This was me long ago.

I'm past this, and looking forward to new things, new people and experiences.
Your response is awesome, thanks dude!

that seems to be normal after 7 months, that feeling slowly creeps on me. glad actually. may I ask what changed?

I came to a epiphany about people, love, friendships, family and life. Slowly I came to realize that having a mate or not having a mate at my age is nothing to be worried about, and not worth putting as my first priority. People come and go, and it's not those people you connect with a orgiastic act of selfish love and a anti-polar expression of the loneliness you felt just before that, that matters. It's those things you enjoy doing, and people you like being with [friends] and people you care about that should be first priority.

I figured out that love isn't that void i had in my heart, that the false conception of romantic and absolutely devoted love isn't, wasn't going to fill that void, ever. That it's not love, that i search for, and it will never be.

What I had in my chest was fear. Fear of of living life, of being with those who i really cared about, and fear of telling those i cared for, what i felt for them. I was so concentrated in being "rescued" figured speech out of the loneliness i was surrounded by at that point, living in a fantasy of being "loved" without having to work for it. After reading some works of Erich Fromm, I came to realization that all this was unnecessary suffering.

Now I focus myself more on living, experimenting. Doing the things I'm passionate about, and aiming to be a better friend, son and brother. We will meet hundreds of people over the course of our lifetime, being pushed to coincidences by the simple decisions we take and the passions we act for. We will connect with so many people over the course of our lifetime that it's a matter of time that we find one we let into our hearts, that we care reciprocately about. Not just one, but we'll find many people like this, and it's a waste of time worrying if "someone will ever love me" or "if i'll ever find that person".

You can say now that I'm happy with the direction my life. I started school again, I'm taking so many new risks this past year, I learned how to skate, parkour and dived myself into being more sexually open. As a pansexual [omnisexual, polysexual], I made it my personal mission to not to enclose myself because of what others think, and that brought me tons of new friends i would sincerely never expect. I met new people with different point of views, started reading more about my passions: sociology and psychology, art and photography.

I still have a lot to work on myself, an the way i interact with people, but I guess i'm no longer gripped back by the fears of an uncertain future.

As a very close friend of mine said once: "You are in control of your life."

sounds like you had that text in front of your eyes within a moment xD was a nice read, made me happy. in a way they always sound the same and in a way they are always new~
may I know what those erich fromm works were? sounds like it would make sense to quote them here or there
for me every single serious problem is solemnly about uncontrolled/unprocessed/disorgainzed fear, and I love going nuts on philosophy about it, so Ill have to go further into your wording of it, thanks a lot for this passionate answer!

Sure. "Art of Loving" and currently reading "Fear of liberty".

They sound like typical self-help books, but i was genuinely surprised that they were focused on the psycho-sociological aspect of human behavior.

"Fear of freedom" I'm sorry, I'm reading it in spanish, and that is the original title in english.