I'm in love with someone I can't be with. I feel like there's a steel pipe in my neck when I think about him, I can barely breathe. It's hard to hang on, it hurts to keep going. But I know I could NEVER forgive myself if I let go.

We're both stressed by our situation and we're responding in different ways. He's withdrawn emotionally to protect his emotions, to me it feels like he doesn't want to open up to me, like he doesn't care. Even when I KNOW he's just trying to protect himself from emotional pain.

Whereas I'm accepting the situation, stubbornly trying to express my emotions, as difficult as it is, it's almost impossible for me to do so... I'm just not there for him, and it's a horrible, guilty feeling. I feel responsible for the turmoil in our relationship. As a result he perceives me as clingy and unstable, dramatic, when I'm frustrated that I can't truly express my love.

Matt, I'm sorry for every wrong I've ever done to you. I love you. I will keep fighting for you. I won't give up, ever. Sometimes it feels like I'm about to drown, and right before I give up, you're there to help me. And I appreciate it more than I can express... If I ever seem nosy, clingy or bothersome, just know I care, and I want to be part of your life. And right now I can't... And it hurts.