There's so much stuff I want to draw that it's hard to start anything, because I'm not sure what I want to pour my time into.
I also felt quite demotivated these last days. Partly because of what I wrote above, partly because of what's happening in the world right now. But I overcame myself and sat down to Tomoe's computer again to draw something, the first thing that came to my mind - the night before.

I had intense night terrors mixed with sleep paralysis that kept repeating anytime I started falling asleep. My incredibly wonderful and sweet  tomoefuchs eventually woke me up, sat me down and made me walk around the house a bit, to shake it off. He can easily tell when I have these. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time it happened while we were physically together, snuggling tight. I think it came back because of our broken sleep schedule, and because of the pressure from the war in Ukraine.
We're all shocked, scared and angry. I can't and don't want to imagine what the Ukrainians are going through, those who had to flee their homes, those who lost their loved ones to this unecessary war, those who are still in Ukraine and facing the Russian forces, which seem to have a sole goal: destroy and kill. It's unbelievable this is happening today, in 21st century, the unimaginable horrors we've been reading in history books and believed could never come back again. Russia has invaded Ukraine the exact same way Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia, my home. Putin is talking about the innocent Ukrainians in the exact same way as Hitler was talking about Jews - the nation's enemy, dirt, scum that has to be eradicated. The irony of calling them "Nazis" would be almost hilarious if it wasn't for the atrocities hiding underneath, the atrocities he's trying to excuse by using a term the whole world learned to connect with pure evil. But what will the world learn after this? The whole world has condemned Nazi Germany for its war crimes, and Germans have seen terrible fates after WW2, for simply being German. Now the whole world learns that Russia is the opposite face of the very same coin. Russians don't want this war, I know that, everybody does. But has the world shown mercy to the Nazis, to the same people who weren't asked, the same people who were only following orders? I fear for the fate of Ukraine, the fate of Europe, and I fear for the fate of the ordinary Russians, who will pay the price for a decision that wasn't their to make.

In all of this, I come back to Charlie Chaplin's famous Dictator speech, one that nobody expected to be proven relevant once again.

To those who can hear me, I say: do not despair.
The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.
The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.
And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.