well this is certainly a mood i can relate to

Yeah?
You going through something similar?

Ho yeah. What days off I have I usually spend the first recuperating, then the second rolls around and I take care of a bunch of things I've been needing or meaning to do for a while, and if I even have a 3rd day, it's spent doing the rest of the crap I was too lazy or didn't do the previous day! WE NEED MORE FREE TIME!!!!!

Oh yeah :c
I can totally feel that >.<
I feel super guilty when people commission me though
Cuz sometimes I don't get the correct mood / inspiration for the commission for me to draw it before my work days start.
And I have to apologise and prolong the commission estimate once again :<
Definitely agree!
Need more free days.

I get that sometimes. Feeling guilty for taking some time for myself but I know it's important to also take care of ourselves. I don't know how much you value yourself. If you have some problem doing things for you and seeing it as a good thing, I think that a good way that you can look at it is that if you have a rested mind, it should be easier to go your art which you seem to value a lot. Easier to focus, to progress, and to see if you're making mistakes but also to recognize when you doing good and appreciate it.

wish best of luck organizing your time and thoughts so that you can do what you want and what you like

Yeeeeah I have been feeling guilty sometimes of just laying down in my bed and sleeping in.
I know I want to take care of myself, and my friend online is also trying to watch out for me and poke me, asking if I've eaten or how I'm doing. I really appreciate having him around ;u;
I like my job, but sometimes I get exhausted when I arrive back home from it. So then the 4 hours I could spend drawing feel kinda wasted, even though they are spent on myself, winding down for the day.
and on the other side of things
I love doing art
The weird art-making urges and bursts of inspiration I get happens while I play games 😂
It's a weird thing I have, certain games give me inspiration and urge to draw something right that instant :p ... I wish it would happen even more often tho! It could come in handy.
What makes me end up contemplating about everything though, is just the fact that I have so little free time to fit all these things into.
Three days off, but I got commissions, my own art I want to draw, games to play, friends to chat with, movies to watch, things to learn about art later on.
But I also need to remember to sleep and eat in between lol
And yeah you have a point there, I just need to be well-rested to be able to draw and do all other things.

Thank you so much for the good luck wishes~

I'm really glad to hear that you are spending time to take care of yourself and that you have friends like that that cares for you. I hope you tell them how much it means to you but you seem like the kind of person that would say when she feels grateful. I feel that is what you're projecting if that makes sense. I try to ask people how they are doing and also ask some if they have eaten too because I know it's not always the case but I wonder to myself sometimes if I can be seen as annoying but most of the time I think they appreciate it like you said.
It seems like you started to do introspection, to try to have an outside view of yourself to see what you could do that would be the best for you, not only now but in the long run. I think that's awesome. It's good to live in the moment but it can be hard to not let ourselves be drowned by meaningless pleasures that are not bad by themselves but can be if overdone or constantly used to fill a hole in ourselves.
I don't know if you live having those kinds of discussion but if you do, my notes, discord or telegram is always open to anyone that likes deep conversations ^^

Even if at first I don't say it right away, I do splurt out my appreciation and shower my friend with kind words and appreciation to keep me healthy and happy. Sometimes I feel guilty, because it seems like a job to keep me reminded of every day things like that ^^;
I think you can get a good idea how busy I get when I am working, knowing how late my replies are ;u;
So I am not sure how I'd carry conversations out.
But thank you for the suggestion, if there will be a need to chat in private, I'll keep it in mind~

No worry I understand. I'm generally quite busy too but it's mostly because I know and care about too many people X3
In any case, it was nice to have that opportunity to talk to you. Loved your art since I discovered it and was curious to know a bit more about the person behind it. So far, sounds like a pretty nice person if you ask me ^^

I can relate to that. I hope can find out what you want to do and everything goes well. Take care

Thank you!
I do know what I want, it's just .... hard for me to organise I guess.