Just emotional feelings that needed to be thrown out, in order not to go crazy. The feeling of loneliness in a cold, silent desert.

It is very insulting when a friend with whom you have known for many years and trust him very much turns out to be just a liar who skillfully hid his entity under the mask of virtue, deceiving you for many years. For the sake of getting benefit, of course, which you gave without any second thoughts.
I've been guessing about this for a long time, and decided to put all the dots. This gave its results. Maybe it's really for the best. And now the cold is on my soul. But I am sure that it will pass and spring will come.