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Ah, here we go; this is my entry for 
poetigress's Thursday Prompt of Thursday, September 23rd, 2010. One day before my birthday! Whooo! The word of this week was "in the attic", and that just so happened to be a perfect fit for where all the loose stuff in the spare room of Mara's and Celeste's house had to be taken to to make room for Cerise coming to live there! So that is what this story is about
Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
Cerise Safrane is also © me
poetigress's Thursday Prompt of Thursday, September 23rd, 2010. One day before my birthday! Whooo! The word of this week was "in the attic", and that just so happened to be a perfect fit for where all the loose stuff in the spare room of Mara's and Celeste's house had to be taken to to make room for Cerise coming to live there! So that is what this story is about Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
Cerise Safrane is also © me
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Mammal (Other)
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 14.8 kB
I guess that between the time limitation of a Thursday Prompt and the fact this story is a part of a serial, you decided to limit introductions; I think, however, that you went too far with it. First, we learn nothing - apart that she is a pink mouse and most probably very pretty, having been a model - about Cerise, who certainly is the central character of the story. Considering the obvious romantic relationship between her and Celeste, it would be natural to have a scene where these two meet and spend few moments complimenting each others' dresses, allowing you to flesh their affection beyond the fact that one likes to grope the other.
Another fact that I believe should be mentioned is Cerise's job. The story revolves around the fact she's changing workplaces, yet we learn not what she is doing for living now or what her job will be. Changing workplaces is a daunting task that can become a great challenge in one's life and, while coming to work and live with your lover (and her partner) might help a lot, showing Cerise in a moment of doubt could help establish her as a better character and improve reader's connection to her.
Another fact that I believe should be mentioned is Cerise's job. The story revolves around the fact she's changing workplaces, yet we learn not what she is doing for living now or what her job will be. Changing workplaces is a daunting task that can become a great challenge in one's life and, while coming to work and live with your lover (and her partner) might help a lot, showing Cerise in a moment of doubt could help establish her as a better character and improve reader's connection to her.
Heh, yes, you are indeed quite right, dear. For new readers, this here story can indeed be somewhat confusing, especially since Cerise seems to be the center of attention in this story.
*chuckles*
I know it's no excuse, but it was late when I uploaded it, and I forgot to mention that this little story is a direct sequel to the Weekend Get-together stories in the Mara & Celeste series. Cerise was first introduced in the "Naughty Memory" story, and got fully introduced and fleshed out in respectively the "Road Trip Reunion" and the Weekend Get-together" stories, which all were more or less direct sequels to one another. So, therefore, I did not have a feeling of necessity to go into very much detail about Cerise here, as all of her background, and her looks, have already been described in detail in the previous stories, mostly the "Weekend Get-together - Sunday" one; that is where we learn most of Cerise's background, the job she currently holds, the plans she was having of switching jobs again, and the plans they made to have her come over to Mara's workplace for an interview. This story just kind of picks right up where that other story left off
Nevertheless, I do very much appreciate your input! Because as I said, you are indeed right; I try to write all installments of my Mara & Celeste series as stand-alone stories, and for that, Cerise could have done with a bit more detail about herself and her background here
*chuckles*
I know it's no excuse, but it was late when I uploaded it, and I forgot to mention that this little story is a direct sequel to the Weekend Get-together stories in the Mara & Celeste series. Cerise was first introduced in the "Naughty Memory" story, and got fully introduced and fleshed out in respectively the "Road Trip Reunion" and the Weekend Get-together" stories, which all were more or less direct sequels to one another. So, therefore, I did not have a feeling of necessity to go into very much detail about Cerise here, as all of her background, and her looks, have already been described in detail in the previous stories, mostly the "Weekend Get-together - Sunday" one; that is where we learn most of Cerise's background, the job she currently holds, the plans she was having of switching jobs again, and the plans they made to have her come over to Mara's workplace for an interview. This story just kind of picks right up where that other story left off
Nevertheless, I do very much appreciate your input! Because as I said, you are indeed right; I try to write all installments of my Mara & Celeste series as stand-alone stories, and for that, Cerise could have done with a bit more detail about herself and her background here
Oh, and I've found your "before" image:
http://www.evalbum.com/426
Two bits sez I've just given Celeste a Good Idea concerning an electric vehicle.
http://www.evalbum.com/426
Two bits sez I've just given Celeste a Good Idea concerning an electric vehicle.
*giggles and winks*
Oh yes, they even make them still today! In Europe it's known as the VW Transporter, and it's still one of the most popular minivans around!
*chortles*
Just take a look at that link
marmelmm posted, for instance; that shows a 1988 Vanagon made into an electric vehicle
Oh yes, they even make them still today! In Europe it's known as the VW Transporter, and it's still one of the most popular minivans around!
*chortles*
Just take a look at that link
marmelmm posted, for instance; that shows a 1988 Vanagon made into an electric vehicle
*giggles and huggles*
Hee hee, yeh, just as VW struck gold with the Beetle as a car for every man, they also struck gold with the concept they built upon the Beetle platform, which was the Type 2 and became known as the Microbus, Vanagon, Transporter, Fourgon, and many other names.
*giggles*
The VW Transporter minivan is in it's like ninth or tenth generation now, and still going strong. Funny is, though, that the otiginal ones from the 50's and 60's are worth about twice as much as a brand new one
Hee hee, yeh, just as VW struck gold with the Beetle as a car for every man, they also struck gold with the concept they built upon the Beetle platform, which was the Type 2 and became known as the Microbus, Vanagon, Transporter, Fourgon, and many other names.
*giggles*
The VW Transporter minivan is in it's like ninth or tenth generation now, and still going strong. Funny is, though, that the otiginal ones from the 50's and 60's are worth about twice as much as a brand new one
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