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Underbox: Twenty-nine
© 2021 by Walter Reimer
Thumbnail art by
Capt. Horatio Hortense Bezoar
Karin stirred awake and squinted at her husband. “Good morning,” she said sleepily.
“Good morning,” Hamo said as they finished tying their necktie, brushing their ponytail out of the way before turning their shirt collar down.
“You’re looking,” the red fox vixen yawned, “you’re looking suspiciously well-groomed today.”
Hamo turned from the mirror and pouted. “Captain Eisler tells me he wants me in his office, the least I can do is look presentable.”
“Pity,” Karin said as she rolled over to go back to sleep, “I like you better when you’re scruffy.”
Hamo leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll remember what you said after I’ve been retired a week.” Their wife chuckled as the cross-fox shouldered into their holster, put their jacket on and plucked their overcoat from the coatrack before leaving the apartment.
The raccoon wanted them in the office at nine; leaving early would give Hamo time to get some coffee and go over the case file again.
A hearty black bread roll slathered with cheese spread and a glass of apple juice sufficed for breakfast at a small bakery on the way to the police station, and they were at their computer and sipping their first cup of coffee by eight.
Vulpine ears swiveled, and they looked up as Eisler walked in. “You’re early,” the raccoon said.
“I know you wouldn’t want me to be late,” the cross-fox said. “Can you tell me what’s up?”
Eisler responded with a jerk of his head in the direction of his office, and Hamo got up to join him. When the door had been closed the captain said, “I got a call from the Deputy Justice Minister. She’s coming here along with someone from the Foreign Ministry.”
Hamo frowned. “All that, just to tell us to back off the case?”
“I don’t know that,” Eisler said, “and I can’t get anything from the people I know in the Ministry. So, we wait till they get here and hear what they have to say.”
Hamo nodded. Police work was like that; hours of inertia, minutes of action, with paperwork connecting the two conditions. “Want some coffee, sir?”
“Please.”
A few minutes after nine o’clock there was a knock on the door. At Eisler’s nod, Hamo got up and opened the door, revealing a cervine doe in a suit. Behind her was a male bear in a dark suit and a second femme in an American Air Force uniform, with the rank of lieutenant colonel. The pronghorn doe in the sky-blue uniform looked nervous.
“Come in, please,” and Hamo put on their best polite smile as the transgender vulpine showed the trio in.
The bear and the deer sat, but the American stayed standing, her ears swiveling. The doe cleared her throat and said, “I’m Mohnke, from the Ministry. This,” and she indicated the bear, “is Volcker, from the Foreign Ministry.” She looked expectantly at the American.
“Colonel Harrison,” the pronghorn doe said in good German. “I’m the attaché at the Embassy.”
Captain Eisler nodded and introduced himself. “This is Detective Suleymanoglu, the lead investigator on the case,” he said, indicating Hamo.
“Good morning,” Hamo said to the trio, and looked up pointedly at the Air Force officer.
Mohnke cleared her throat. “We – the Justice and Foreign Ministries - have managed to convince the Americans to at least explain to us why we can’t arrest or extradite our suspect.” She glanced up at the American, who cleared her throat and shuffled her hooves.
“I – “ Harrison paused. “I have been briefed, with the sole purpose of passing this information to you. My security clearance was raised for this purpose.”
“Good,” Hamo said, taking out a notepad and jotting down the date and time. “What’s our boy’s name?”
“It doesn’t have one.”
There was a collection of ear-swivels in the office.
Volcker looked scared.
Hamo groaned inwardly.
Joachim was going to absolutely insufferable when he found out.
“It’s an AI?” Hamo asked.
Harrison shook her head. “According to the information I have, it’s not.”
“Do you know if – it – committed the murders reported here in the Berlin Underbox?”
“Yes,” the doe replied. “I’ve seen the data logs as part of my briefing.”
“What about the suspicious deaths elsewhere?” Eisler asked.
“I have no information about those,” Harrison said.
“You say that it’s not an AI,” Hamo said. “According to your information.”
“That’s right.”
The cross-fox jotted another note and sat back. “Tell us about this computer, please – as much as you know.”
Harrison took a deep breath. “It’s one of our defense computers, under Cheyenne Mountain in the state of Colorado. It used its secure connections to commit the murders.”
Hamo blinked. “One of your defense computers.”
“Yes.”
“Doesn’t it have anything better to do?” At the question, Eisler gave a quiet snort of laughter.
The pronghorn looked unamused. “Not since we took away its - not since we took away certain responsibilities from it.”
“So . . . this computer has killed at least two people,” Hamo asked, “because it was bored?”
Harrison sighed. “Looks that way, yes. According to my briefing, when it was queried the system said that it wanted to see if it could do it without being detected.”
There was a short silence. “Has it been disconnected from the cyberbahn?” Volcker suddenly asked.
“Yes.”
Hamo’s ears went back. “Then who’s been trying to hack into the police and court systems here?” The officer’s eyes widened, and the cross-fox nodded. “That’s right; we can show you the logs, and the results of the trace.” Their expression hardened. “You can take that back to your superiors. This thing’s obviously smarter than they are.”
“Detective, please,” Mohnke admonished.
“Apologies, Ma’am.”
“Still, you have a point.” She glanced at Volcker, and the bear nodded. “Colonel Harrison, please pass on to your superiors that this system is still connected, and may still be either killing people, or planning to kill people.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Harrison said. “That’s, er, all the information I have, I’m afraid.”
Hamo and Eisler exchanged glances as Mohnke said, “Then are there any further questions, Detective?”
The cross-fox shook their head. “I’m afraid not, Ma’am.”
“We do have a live suspect, currently jailed in Podgorica,” Eisler said, the raccoon’s tail swishing back and forth. Hamo recognized the gesture; the captain was angry, possibly irritated at the fact that their quarry was basically untouchable.
“Yes, we do,” and everyone got to their feet as Mohnke stood up. “Thank you for your hard work, Captain, Detective. We’ll be in touch with any additional information, because this matter is not closed.” She gave Harrison a significant glance, and the American’s ears dipped. The trio walked out of the office.
Hamo took a deep breath and let it out, feeling an almost post-coital weariness try to seep into them. “So,” they said, “that’s that.”
“Yeah,” Eisler said. “I’m getting too old for this crap.”
Hamo glanced back at their captain. “I’ll get my notes written up.” Eisler nodded, and the cross-fox went to their desk.
Halfway to the desk, Hamo changed directions and got another cup of coffee, then went to their computer and started writing up their notes.
A text window suddenly opened.
hello
It wasn’t coming from anyone that the cross-fox recognized. Who is this? They typed.
i am system
Hamo frowned. You’re what we’re looking for?
Their phone rang. “Suleymanoglu.”
It was Bauer. “Detective, we’re being hacked again.”
“I know. It’s talking to me.”
“It is? I mean, he is?”
Yeah, there was no need to tell her. “Yeah. Should I keep him talking?”
“Please!”
“Okay.” Hamo returned their attention to the text window, which bore the simple word yes.
Why are you doing this?
it is my function. The connection abruptly ended, leaving the cross-fox staring at the screen.
***
“Congratulations, Hamo,” Captain Eisler said, raising his glass of beer and drinking as the others in the room toasted the newly-retired detective. “I hope you have a happy retirement, and if you ever decide to come back – “
“Hell no,” the cross-fox said, and everyone laughed as they kissed Karin. “I’ve had enough of this nonsense,” they said, “and it’s high time I tried something new.”
“Like what?” Joachim asked.
“Well, like being a happy househusband,” and Karin almost choked on her drink as she started laughing.
Hamo smiled as various other detectives and officers came up to them to shake their paw, but the smile faltered slightly.
The computer that had murdered eight people because it was bored hadn’t spoken to them since that morning, and IT Crimes hadn’t reported any hacking attempts.
But the cross-fox kept thinking about the system, and about its function.
Even as their own function ended, and a new one was about to begin.
- End -
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST<
© 2021 by Walter Reimer
Thumbnail art by
Capt. Horatio Hortense BezoarKarin stirred awake and squinted at her husband. “Good morning,” she said sleepily.
“Good morning,” Hamo said as they finished tying their necktie, brushing their ponytail out of the way before turning their shirt collar down.
“You’re looking,” the red fox vixen yawned, “you’re looking suspiciously well-groomed today.”
Hamo turned from the mirror and pouted. “Captain Eisler tells me he wants me in his office, the least I can do is look presentable.”
“Pity,” Karin said as she rolled over to go back to sleep, “I like you better when you’re scruffy.”
Hamo leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll remember what you said after I’ve been retired a week.” Their wife chuckled as the cross-fox shouldered into their holster, put their jacket on and plucked their overcoat from the coatrack before leaving the apartment.
The raccoon wanted them in the office at nine; leaving early would give Hamo time to get some coffee and go over the case file again.
A hearty black bread roll slathered with cheese spread and a glass of apple juice sufficed for breakfast at a small bakery on the way to the police station, and they were at their computer and sipping their first cup of coffee by eight.
Vulpine ears swiveled, and they looked up as Eisler walked in. “You’re early,” the raccoon said.
“I know you wouldn’t want me to be late,” the cross-fox said. “Can you tell me what’s up?”
Eisler responded with a jerk of his head in the direction of his office, and Hamo got up to join him. When the door had been closed the captain said, “I got a call from the Deputy Justice Minister. She’s coming here along with someone from the Foreign Ministry.”
Hamo frowned. “All that, just to tell us to back off the case?”
“I don’t know that,” Eisler said, “and I can’t get anything from the people I know in the Ministry. So, we wait till they get here and hear what they have to say.”
Hamo nodded. Police work was like that; hours of inertia, minutes of action, with paperwork connecting the two conditions. “Want some coffee, sir?”
“Please.”
A few minutes after nine o’clock there was a knock on the door. At Eisler’s nod, Hamo got up and opened the door, revealing a cervine doe in a suit. Behind her was a male bear in a dark suit and a second femme in an American Air Force uniform, with the rank of lieutenant colonel. The pronghorn doe in the sky-blue uniform looked nervous.
“Come in, please,” and Hamo put on their best polite smile as the transgender vulpine showed the trio in.
The bear and the deer sat, but the American stayed standing, her ears swiveling. The doe cleared her throat and said, “I’m Mohnke, from the Ministry. This,” and she indicated the bear, “is Volcker, from the Foreign Ministry.” She looked expectantly at the American.
“Colonel Harrison,” the pronghorn doe said in good German. “I’m the attaché at the Embassy.”
Captain Eisler nodded and introduced himself. “This is Detective Suleymanoglu, the lead investigator on the case,” he said, indicating Hamo.
“Good morning,” Hamo said to the trio, and looked up pointedly at the Air Force officer.
Mohnke cleared her throat. “We – the Justice and Foreign Ministries - have managed to convince the Americans to at least explain to us why we can’t arrest or extradite our suspect.” She glanced up at the American, who cleared her throat and shuffled her hooves.
“I – “ Harrison paused. “I have been briefed, with the sole purpose of passing this information to you. My security clearance was raised for this purpose.”
“Good,” Hamo said, taking out a notepad and jotting down the date and time. “What’s our boy’s name?”
“It doesn’t have one.”
There was a collection of ear-swivels in the office.
Volcker looked scared.
Hamo groaned inwardly.
Joachim was going to absolutely insufferable when he found out.
“It’s an AI?” Hamo asked.
Harrison shook her head. “According to the information I have, it’s not.”
“Do you know if – it – committed the murders reported here in the Berlin Underbox?”
“Yes,” the doe replied. “I’ve seen the data logs as part of my briefing.”
“What about the suspicious deaths elsewhere?” Eisler asked.
“I have no information about those,” Harrison said.
“You say that it’s not an AI,” Hamo said. “According to your information.”
“That’s right.”
The cross-fox jotted another note and sat back. “Tell us about this computer, please – as much as you know.”
Harrison took a deep breath. “It’s one of our defense computers, under Cheyenne Mountain in the state of Colorado. It used its secure connections to commit the murders.”
Hamo blinked. “One of your defense computers.”
“Yes.”
“Doesn’t it have anything better to do?” At the question, Eisler gave a quiet snort of laughter.
The pronghorn looked unamused. “Not since we took away its - not since we took away certain responsibilities from it.”
“So . . . this computer has killed at least two people,” Hamo asked, “because it was bored?”
Harrison sighed. “Looks that way, yes. According to my briefing, when it was queried the system said that it wanted to see if it could do it without being detected.”
There was a short silence. “Has it been disconnected from the cyberbahn?” Volcker suddenly asked.
“Yes.”
Hamo’s ears went back. “Then who’s been trying to hack into the police and court systems here?” The officer’s eyes widened, and the cross-fox nodded. “That’s right; we can show you the logs, and the results of the trace.” Their expression hardened. “You can take that back to your superiors. This thing’s obviously smarter than they are.”
“Detective, please,” Mohnke admonished.
“Apologies, Ma’am.”
“Still, you have a point.” She glanced at Volcker, and the bear nodded. “Colonel Harrison, please pass on to your superiors that this system is still connected, and may still be either killing people, or planning to kill people.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Harrison said. “That’s, er, all the information I have, I’m afraid.”
Hamo and Eisler exchanged glances as Mohnke said, “Then are there any further questions, Detective?”
The cross-fox shook their head. “I’m afraid not, Ma’am.”
“We do have a live suspect, currently jailed in Podgorica,” Eisler said, the raccoon’s tail swishing back and forth. Hamo recognized the gesture; the captain was angry, possibly irritated at the fact that their quarry was basically untouchable.
“Yes, we do,” and everyone got to their feet as Mohnke stood up. “Thank you for your hard work, Captain, Detective. We’ll be in touch with any additional information, because this matter is not closed.” She gave Harrison a significant glance, and the American’s ears dipped. The trio walked out of the office.
Hamo took a deep breath and let it out, feeling an almost post-coital weariness try to seep into them. “So,” they said, “that’s that.”
“Yeah,” Eisler said. “I’m getting too old for this crap.”
Hamo glanced back at their captain. “I’ll get my notes written up.” Eisler nodded, and the cross-fox went to their desk.
Halfway to the desk, Hamo changed directions and got another cup of coffee, then went to their computer and started writing up their notes.
A text window suddenly opened.
hello
It wasn’t coming from anyone that the cross-fox recognized. Who is this? They typed.
i am system
Hamo frowned. You’re what we’re looking for?
Their phone rang. “Suleymanoglu.”
It was Bauer. “Detective, we’re being hacked again.”
“I know. It’s talking to me.”
“It is? I mean, he is?”
Yeah, there was no need to tell her. “Yeah. Should I keep him talking?”
“Please!”
“Okay.” Hamo returned their attention to the text window, which bore the simple word yes.
Why are you doing this?
it is my function. The connection abruptly ended, leaving the cross-fox staring at the screen.
***
“Congratulations, Hamo,” Captain Eisler said, raising his glass of beer and drinking as the others in the room toasted the newly-retired detective. “I hope you have a happy retirement, and if you ever decide to come back – “
“Hell no,” the cross-fox said, and everyone laughed as they kissed Karin. “I’ve had enough of this nonsense,” they said, “and it’s high time I tried something new.”
“Like what?” Joachim asked.
“Well, like being a happy househusband,” and Karin almost choked on her drink as she started laughing.
Hamo smiled as various other detectives and officers came up to them to shake their paw, but the smile faltered slightly.
The computer that had murdered eight people because it was bored hadn’t spoken to them since that morning, and IT Crimes hadn’t reported any hacking attempts.
But the cross-fox kept thinking about the system, and about its function.
Even as their own function ended, and a new one was about to begin.
- End -
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST<
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 85 x 120px
File Size 59.9 kB
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