The Rise of the Raccoon Queen
Or The Big Grey Fluffy Butt Matter

A Story of Faerie
© 2020 by M. Mitchell Marmel

(Additional characters by E.O. Costello and W.D. Reimer.)
Thumbnail art by  tegerio, color by  Major Matt Mason


Part Forty-two.



“So,” Anastasia said to me, “you were gone a while.”

I nodded. “We ended up in Eastness, where we had to prevent something catastrophic from happening.”

She gave me a look. “Not another - ?”

I shook my head. “No, although something close to it. Tali and her associates were the ones who actually dispelled it, and Eastness’ leadership is very grateful.” I gave her a quick digest of what had happened, summing up with, “Eastness wants to open up trade with Elfhame, and they want to bring a delegation here to talk to Princess Grace.”

“I hope you said yes.”

“Of course, [precious mate], but I told them that I’d have to consult you, as [First-of-Eldest].” My acknowledgement of who really runs Elfhame made Anastasia smile happily, and she rewarded me with a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll read through my old Eastness report to string together the proper sequence of Gates they can use to get here and back.”

Ears swiveled as there was a loud splash, a canine scream, and a very loud [RAE-BEET] eclipsed the sound of Fred shouting, “What, again!?”

“So, that just leaves us with the Wolf Queen,” Anastasia observed, just as the rest of the Household caught up with us. “Or, should I say, the Raccoon Queen,” and she gave Tessie a look that made my erstwhile maid swish her ringed tail in embarrassment. “Wolfess?” my mate asked, looking past Tessie.

“I’ve taken the name ‘Missy Sage’ until the Lady chooses to relieve the Raccoon Queen of the Regalia,” Missy said.

“And so she shall,” the Raccoon Queen said. “Missy is being tested, and – what?” and briefly Tessie had her own voice back. “What do you mean, ‘Congratulations?’”

“The arrows hit the gold, first time, sweetie. Mazel tov.”

Anastasia looked concerned, while I and everyone else looked confused. “Is there something wrong, Raccoon Queen?” Quite a few ears perked at that (by this time we were at the Master’s Lodge, where a large crowd had gathered).

Tessie’s eyes darted back and forth, her tail shaking. “But . . . what . . . you mean?” and as we all watched her face ran the gamut of expressions from shock and confusion to sheer joy. “I’m . . . the Regalia says that I’m . . . going to have a baby.”

I heard a feminine roe's bark and turned to see an expression of fire and murther shining from Anastasia's eyes as her paws started to glow. "By the stars, Westersloe,” she said softly, “you had better PRAY that's a boy."

There was only one thing to do.

"I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" I protested, while pronking about twenty feet.

The rest of the group all stood there, quite shocked, while I looked around wildly.

And then I got another shock.

An Elf who knows magicks can use them involuntarily, if they're shocked or surprised. I've read about it, of course, and I’ve ‘panic pooked’ more than once.

The reason why I started feeling safe from a fireball was standing beside Tessie, and presently everyone else had the copper drop.

Namely, a tall raccoon boar with an athletic build - and wearing a mint-green Elfhame Rangers uniform. He looked around wildly at all the people staring at him, looked at his paws, and then gave us all a lopsided grin as his ringed tail and ears dipped.

Sixth had apparently been sharing Tessie's attentions with me, attentions that were now bearing fruit.

Bridget and Trixie said “OooooOOOOOooooh!”

Anastasia said, "Well! That makes things simpler." The glow faded from her paws. “It won’t stop him from getting married, but he will support Tessie and their child.”

Sixth gulped as the full weight of what he’d done hit him, but he straightened up and nodded to his mother before slipping an arm around the Raccoon Queen’s waist. The raccoon gave a quiet squeal and snuggled up to him.

A horn honked, and Tali, Matt and the Twits took advantage of the moment to pull their antless cart forward. “Corporal, we’ll be headed down to Glenallid now.”

“Leaving tonight?” Anastasia said.

The feline glanced at Missy and Ooo-er. “Under the circumstances, Anastasia, it’s the best course of action. We’ll be gone before sunup.”

“Just one thing more,” Fred said. He wiped some pond slime off his uniform and beckoned to two of the Gypsy Wolfesses. Their ears perked, and he pointed at Michael. “SIC ‘IM!”

The two immediately pounced on the mink, dragged him from the car and started to carry him off. “Wait! Stop!” Michael protested. “I’m saving myself for marriage!”

“Never heard of loaning out on interest, have you?” the dog shot back, climbing out of the car and offering an arm to another wolfess with a polite smile. “Just remember, Corporal – “

“No sweets for two weeks.”

“Good fur, stout fellow, credit to his regiment,” and Fred and the wolfess left.

Tali rolled her eyes and said to Matt, “Let’s get out of here.” She waved as the bear steered slowly through the crowd and down the road that led past Greytor-village to the bridge over the [Stranger’s River].


***


Missy:

“Master?” The roebuck looked up from the report he’d written about our first trip to Eastness. “Who – who have you chosen to go to Eastness and lead their delegation back?”

The Master looked surprised. We were alone in his study; downstairs I could hear things being moved around as the household prepared for a dinner.

A meal, I think, that would have tasted like ashes in my mouth.

“I hadn’t thought of that yet, Missy. I was thinking that – “

“I’ll go,” I said.

He blinked. “Are you sure? Aren’t you going to try to patch things up with - ?”

I nodded. “I think we need to let this wound heal, before we try any other physick.”

He flattened his ears and frowned. “When do you propose to leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. And . . . I’d like to take Sunny with me.”

“Well, she is a Priestess of the Brilliant Light. Why ask me?”

“She’s your ward, Master.”

“She’s your daughter, Missy.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I nodded. “C-Can you - ?”

“I’ll put the list together as quickly as possible.”

I blinked back the tears, feeling angry at myself for being so weak in front of him. “Thank you, Master.”

“You’re always welcome, Missy.”

I composed myself before going downstairs.

Dinner . . . well, actually it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t eat much, but I did clean my plate. Ooo-er had a fine trout for dinner, and she appeared quite hungry. ‘Home cooking,’ I guess. Little Sunny, my daughter Aedith, smiled happily as was her wont and listened intently as the Master told everyone about our adventures in Eastness.

“The Temples of the Brilliant Light have been rebuilt,” the Master said, and both Aedith and Nippy perked their ears, and the buck leaned toward the little wolfess. “Would you like to take a trip to Eastness to see?”

Aedith laughed and clapped her paws. “Yes!” she said. He glanced at me.

My cue, I suppose.

“I . . . I have something to say,” I said as I stood up from the table. I lowered my head and said, “Pride is a powerful thing. And, in one way or another, I have been nothing but prideful and arrogant." I raised her head, and felt the hot sting of tears. "I . . . I must learn true humility. I must learn . . . who I truly am." I turned to Tessie. "I have been an arrogant bitch towards you, and mere words aren’t enough to apologize. I have no right to ask this boon of you, but I shall. Will you bear the Regalia for me for a while longer? I must . . . I must . . . "

My paws came to my face and I felt my shoulders heaving as I sobbed quietly.

I heard a chair slide against the floor, and the thing I least expected happened. Tessie, the Raccoon Queen, had come around the table and embraced me in a warm, sincere hug. "Of course, . . . my sister," and tears were rolling down the Raccoon Queen's face as well. "I will bear this gift and this burden with my life, until you are ready to take the mantle once again." It sounded like the Regalia was whispering in her ear.

As it used to do for me.

The rest of the furs at the table just watched, dumbstruck.

I spent part of the night in the Temple in Greytor-village, all three of the blades Tali had given me arrayed on the altar. Brother Cellini had given me several worried looks before chasing his idiot monks out of the room. He, at least, understood that I wanted time to myself.

And to have a talk with Fuma.

The next morning, wearing a monk’s brown robe over my suit and the two swords thrust into my belt, I headed down to the Master’s Lodge. The entire household was there, and I could hear the Ashearths at the back crying and being comforted by their husband. Anastasia nodded, and little Sunny scampered forward.

I knelt to hug her while the Master and Nippy came up. The ermine femme gave me a packet of food and a jug, which I tucked into my Elfintory.

The Master offered me a piece of paper. “Here’s the route, wolfess. We look forward to your return.”

“Thank you,” I said, scooping Sunny up in my arms. Oof, she’s getting a little heavy. I looked around for Ooo-er, and my heart sank when I couldn’t see her. “I’ll bring the delegation here soon,” and I headed for the Tor.

At the base of the hill I stopped. Ooo-er was there, shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously as her tail switched back and forth. I put Aedith on her feet, and she ran to the otteress, seized her paw, and practically dragged her up to me.

We didn’t meet each other’s gaze for a moment; finally Ooo-er said, “So. You’re off again.”

“Just for a little while.”

“Will . . . will you . . . “ She looked up at me. She’d been crying. “Will you come back?”

I took both of her paws in mine. “Of course. How could I leave you? You have my heart and my love,” and I bowed over her paws, brushing my lips against them in as courtly a kiss as I could manage. “I’ll return to you, Ooo-er,” and I released her paws. “I just need to find out who I am.”

She conjured water, and flicked drops at me and Sunny; a benediction. Aedith giggled, and I took her paw as I faced the tor.

“Who are you?” Aedith suddenly asked. She looked up at me with a bright smile and curious tilt to her head. Obviously she had been paying attention.

“Who am I?” I asked in mock indignation. "Why, I'm . . . " I paused for a moment. "I’m . . . nobody in particular."

"Yes, you are!" Sunny protested. "You're my MOMMY!"

I got a little misty eyed at this, and Ooo-er chirped a laugh through her tears. I swung my daughter up into my arms again and walked up the hill to the Gate.



Not quite . . . The End.





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