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The moon
It was an quiet night as an lonley hybrid walked towards the edge of an clift, she looked down, then up.
Before she laid down on the ground near the edge, feeling the cold wind blowing by as it touched her tail and whiskers.
At the bottom of the clif she could hear the sound of the water comeing toward the rocks. But she could also hear the sound of the wind that keep passing by, while the water seems like it's trying to climb the slippy rocks.
She looked out over the clift, trying to decide what to do next, laiyng there, enjoying the full moon that was peaking forward between the clouds. The hybrid smiled a little, happy to see the full moon comeing forward, shineing.
- "The "Sun" is the sun of the day while the "Moon" is the sun of night" the hybrid thought to herself, looking at the full moon, who was shining over the whole place spreading it's beautiful light.
- "it's funny in one way, fascinating in another way. It's alone but still not alone... just the feeling i got inside me." she smiled a little bit and closed her eyes before falling asleep to the sounds of nature.
Fin
**********
Hybrid/Text/Story © A.H
Constructive criticism is welcomed
The moon
It was an quiet night as an lonley hybrid walked towards the edge of an clift, she looked down, then up.
Before she laid down on the ground near the edge, feeling the cold wind blowing by as it touched her tail and whiskers.
At the bottom of the clif she could hear the sound of the water comeing toward the rocks. But she could also hear the sound of the wind that keep passing by, while the water seems like it's trying to climb the slippy rocks.
She looked out over the clift, trying to decide what to do next, laiyng there, enjoying the full moon that was peaking forward between the clouds. The hybrid smiled a little, happy to see the full moon comeing forward, shineing.
- "The "Sun" is the sun of the day while the "Moon" is the sun of night" the hybrid thought to herself, looking at the full moon, who was shining over the whole place spreading it's beautiful light.
- "it's funny in one way, fascinating in another way. It's alone but still not alone... just the feeling i got inside me." she smiled a little bit and closed her eyes before falling asleep to the sounds of nature.
Fin
**********
Hybrid/Text/Story © A.H
Constructive criticism is welcomed
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 111 x 120px
File Size 1.4 kB
Well, it is rather short, which puts concepts of purpose and its rhetoric into question. Characterization itself nigh lost in the snap of the petard of the work.
To that though what description was present was excellent in creating the quick scene. The internal monologue itself excellent and probably the strongest voice of the piece, yet if attached to more girth and characterization twould it shine greater than it does now.
To that though what description was present was excellent in creating the quick scene. The internal monologue itself excellent and probably the strongest voice of the piece, yet if attached to more girth and characterization twould it shine greater than it does now.
FA+

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