Phil woke with a start, covered in sweat. His wife was shaking him violently, trying to rouse him. She whispered at him in a hiss, "Dammit, Phil. You sleep like the dead, get up!"

He groaned and sat up in the bed, looking around the room blearily. It was two o'clock in the morning. "Jenny, what the hell? What's going on?"

His wife clutched at the sheets, trying to be as quiet as possible as she whispered, "I think there's someone in the house!"

He groaned and rolled out of bed, putting on his slippers, “Didn’t we already have this conversation? It's an old house and we just moved in. It's going to take a while to get used to the noises it makes at night."

She slapped him on the shoulder, "I don't care. Until you go and check things out I can't go back to sleep. And if I can't sleep, you WON'T sleep."

He grumbled under his breath, "Fine, fine. Anything to put you at ease, your highness." He fumbled around on the bedside table until he found a flashlight and stood up from the bed. His joints creaked and popped loudly.

Sighing, he clicked on the flashlight and shuffled to the bedroom door. AS he opened it his wife let out an ear piercing shriek. The shocked middle aged office worker looked up just in time to see the gleaming blade of an axe swinging right towards his face.

Phil woke with a start, covered in sweat. His wife was shaking him violently, trying to rouse him. She whispered at him in a hiss, "Dammit, Phil. You sleep like the dead, get up!"

He groaned and sat up in the bed, looking around the room blearily. It was three o'clock in the morning. "Jenny, what the hell? What's going on?"

His wife clutched at the sheets, trying to be as quiet as possible as she whispered, "I think there's someone in the house!"

He groaned and rolled out of bed, putting on his slippers, “Didn’t we already have this conversation?"