I spent a lot of this summer very depressed. One of those bad stints. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure has COMPLETELY passed, but it's definitely much, much better now. I made this like over a month and a half ago, and wasn't going to upload it, cause it was a reminder of that state of mind, but

that's focusing on the negative

this 5am doodle was very cathartic, but I didn't realize it until weeks later, as I mentally kept going back to it. I honestly felt a little better after making it... But, we don't get to SEE vent art anymore on the internet. Not so much, anyway. A messy painting that was an out-pour of negative emotion at the lowest of a low point didn't seem fit to display alongside the other things I make-- or so felt.

That's entirely untrue. In fact, I feel this is one of the most expressive things I've done in a long time. It's not groundbreaking, or an exercise of technical prowess, and it doesn't have to be. It's a reflection of a real portion of myself, when I felt very invisible to the world around me. A testament that, for all it's worth, reminds me I exist.

And something of a message to others who've felt or are feeling similar. Bad times always come to pass-- even if they drag on for weeks, months, years. There's something worthwhile for you on the other side of it all, something better. It can be hard to see, or even consider, but it WILL get better. Just take care of yourself, no matter how small the act may be. Eat something sweet or fried, if it means you eat a meal. Stand in the shower for 5 minutes if it means you bathed that day. Wear a favorite shirt if it means you care -just a little bit- what you wore that day. You deserve to be cared for, and sometimes, you're the only one that can give yourself that care.

It's very lonely, but even one act of self care can give you the strength to carry on, finally, into those better days.