People who have it all just can't seem to stop fucking taking

If you find some way of doing for yourself, there are people who will professionally smash it just for the joy of forcing your head underwater again and watching you inhale water

I am sick and tired of having my mouth slapped by '''''''friends'''''' for asking ''Why do you do this?'', sick of being dragged through needless misery and trouble people create for the purpose, sick of having every tiny shred of my autonomy taken away, sick of being FORCED to ask them and then being told no when the request is for the most basic and important shit I need which costs them NOTHING, sick of being forced to jump through hoops for a prize that doesn't fucking exist

sick sick sick sick sick

I am small and weak and I can be pinched and poked and stabbed and clutched and crushed and drowned and shoved and humilated and robbed of every last tiny breath of happiness

There is nothing I can do about it, I'm powerless

but I'll spend every millisecond of it FURIOUS and waiting, and I'll never let a moment go by where I even pretend to feel grateful for the crumb of decency I might get some day following plate after plate after plate of shit