Commissioned by  RomanProphet

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“Master Tian, did you see that? I beat Shu without taking a single blow!” Yoiryu said, running to meet his master.

“Yes, I saw that,” the old boar said. “Just as I see that you haven't helped Shu to his feet now that your fight is over.”

“Oh, uh... I'll be right back.” Yoiryu turned around, his nine silver-blue tails whipping in the air behind him, and jogged back to the defeated meerkat, who sat rubbing his arm. “Here, let me help you,” he said, offering a hand. The fellow-student took it and Yoiryu helped him to his feet, the pair of them slapping each other on the back to show there were no hard feelings before Yoiryu dashed back to Master Tian.

“So,” he began, settling himself down. “I think this makes for 51 straight wins. I don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm pretty sure that puts me way beyond the rank of student. I don't mean to intrude on your decisions or anything, but, isn't it time I was made a Master?” After he finished speaking, Tian turned to look up at the sky, looking quite intently at... something. Yoiryu followed his gaze and saw only a cloud passing over the sun. “Master?” he asked again.

“I hear you, I hear you. No, Yoiryu, you are not yet ready.”

“Why not? I'm the most skilled of your students. The best fighter in this mountain monastery! Besides you and the other masters, of course. What more do I need to prove to you that I'm ready for the rank of master?”

“You are a good fighter, true. Physically, you are about as good as any man can hope to be. But mentally? There is still much to work on. Your technique is impressive, but you let your ego get in the way of your decision-making. You may be able to beat all your fellow students, but against a master you would have no chance of winning.”

“Then, can't you teach me to improve in this regard? To let go of my ego, or whatever it is I need to do?”

“Well, that depends. Are you prepared to do whatever I ask of you, no matter how absurd, no matter how much you dislike it, without once complaining?”

“I am.”

“Very well. I will do my part in teaching you. Just remember that the learning is all up to you. For now, go to the kitchen and help wash the dishes. Once you're done, come see me again.”

“Will do, master!” Yoiryu said, jumping to his feet and setting off for the kitchen. “I'll show Master Tian how committed I am to this training! I'll leave the dishes cleaner than they've been since they were made!” he thought to himself. By the time he had finished an hour later, though, he had lost most of his enthusiasm for the work, and it was with great relief that he set the last dish aside and left the kitchens.

He walked briskly around the monastery, looking for his master, until he found the old man in sitting in the temple, before the statue of Master Xiu Xi Zhu, the founder of the monastery and of the style of martial arts practiced therein, and a nine-tailed fox like Yoiryu himself. Yoiryu knelt behind his master, waiting for him to finish his contemplation.

“Have you finished with the dishes?” Master Tian asked without turning.

“I have. So, what's next? Are we going to fight or...”

“Fight? No, not at all. In fact, until you have learned to let go of your ego, you are forbidden to fight at all save in self-defense or for the protection of someone else.”

“What!? No fighting!? But I thought you were going to teach me how to master the ego or whatever so I could become a better fighter?”

“Did you not agree that you would do whatever I asked without complaining of it? You are very close to breaking your word. You will become a better fighter if you can learn from my training, yes, but that is not the main goal. A master isn't only someone who knows how to fight. A master must also be able to achieve enlightenment and see through to the real nature of the world. Only one who can do so may master whatever he sets his mind to, from fighting to fishing to playing the flute. This is the goal of your training, not learning how to fight better. Now, since you have finished with the dishes, you can no w go help with mopping the floors.”

Yoiryu opened his mouth, then snapped it shut and left without another word to do as his master had said.

The same pattern would play out time and time again over the next few weeks,with Yoiryu being given some menial task that apparently had nothing to do with either fighting or enlightenment, doing his task diligently, then returning to Master Tian to be given another task, each one more demeaning than the last. And while he never once complained out loud, his thoughts for much of the day consisted of naught but nonstop grumbling.

All this “training” was beyond cruel and absurd. It was downright ridiculous. Why on Earth was he being made to do such simple tasks when he could be out there training to get better at fighting? Why had he been forbidden from fighting anyone at all, when fighting was all he was? Having been raised in the monastery ever since he was a baby left there by unknown parents, he had grown up seeing the monks fighting, had followed along with their training even before he really understood what any of them were saying. Once he was old enough to begin proper training, he had taken to it like a fish to the water. There was nothing else he was even half as good at, nothing else he had ever wanted to do with his life, other than fighting. Now he couldn't do it at all unless it was absolutely necessary? What a joke!

How much longer would he have to put up with all this? If this went on for much longer without it feeling like he was learning anything, Yoiryu felt like he would snap. He would abandon the monastery and the monks and go out into the world to learn fighting on his own. Even if he was no master, he was good enough to beat most people handily, and he felt sure he could figure out on his own how to get even better.

One morning, a couple months into this “training”, Yoiryu went to Master Tian for his next task and was led to a small patch of wildflowers growing not far beyond the monastery grounds. The master knelt before them, plucked off a single leaf that a striped caterpillar was busy chewing on, and handed it to Yoiryu.

“This is a rare species of caterpillar with a close relationship to a certain species of flower, the only one it can feed from. Usually these flowers grow further up the mountain, but this spring one of them happened to sprout down here. A passing moth must have found it and laid its egg there, for then this caterpillar hatched and started eating away at the plant. It has chewed away at most of the plant already, yet still it needs more food if it is to reach adulthood. Your task for today, Yoiryu, is to carry this caterpillar up the mountain and set it on a patch of these flowers, where it may continue growing. If memory serves, there is one such patch not too far off the main road very near the mountain's peak. Follow the main road and you are sure to find it. When you return, come straight to me. There is a matter we must discuss.”

Yoiryu took the bug from his master, bowed his head, and left without saying a word. This was it, he thought. This was the last straw. Sure he had been made to do a bunch of meaningless tasks before, but this was by far the most insulting thing Master Tian had made him do yet. At least washing the dishes and scrubbing the floors actually helped people. It was something that needed doing, even if not necessarily by him. Now he was only helping a measly caterpillar? What the heck was this supposed to accomplish? And with the way things were going, Master Tian was almost certainly going to come up with something even more meaningless for his next task. It seemed absurd to think that there could be anything worse than this, but he didn't doubt in his master's ability to come up with something.

“I swear, if this doesn't accomplish anything, I'm going to go straight to Master Tian when I get back and tell him I don't want any more of this stupid training of his. I'll figure out how to get better on my own,” Yoiryu grumbled to himself.

As he followed the path up the mountain, he kept his eyes peeled for any sign of the white flowers he was supposed to find somewhere around here, yet by the time he reached the mountain peak, standing at the base of the watchtower there, he hadn't seen so much as a single one of them.

“Oh, good grief, don't tell my I missed the flowers. Now what am I supposed to do with this stupid bug?” he said, uncurling his fist to look at the caterpillar. The bug seemed uneasy over having been kept in the dark so long, and in such a strange, distinctly UN-leafy place for that matter, but other than that it seemed fine. The leaf that had started out in his hand was completely gone now, chewed up by the little caterpillar, who still looked around hungrily for more food.

In the end, Yoiryu decided to carry it back down the mountain and leave it on the flower patch that his master had taken it from, and so he headed back down the mountain, lost in his train of thoughts. As he walked, a moth happened to pass right in front of his face, interrupting his train of thought for a moment. He followed its flight and saw it head into a ravine whose opening had been hidden from him on his way up the mountain. In fact, he didn't think he had ever seen it before, though there seemed to be the remains of an old path splitting off from this one and leading into the ravine. And, were those more moths that Yoiryu saw at the end of it?

His curiosity piqued, Yoiryu headed down the ravine, wondering what he might find at the end of this old abandoned road. As he followed the bends of this natural rock formation, the end of the ravine finally came into view, and he blinked in surprise at what he saw.

Filling the end of the ravine was a swarm of moths like the one he'd see, fluttering about this way and that in the shadowy location, whose walls were covered in snow white flowers. More than that, however, what drew Yoiryu's attention was a wood carving statue standing at the very end of the ravine, on some sort of altar. On approach, he saw that he recognized the subject of the statue as Master Xiu Xi Zhu.

Holding the caterpillar out, he placed it down on the nearby flowers and saw another one like it not far from there, then knelt before the statue in contemplation.

Questions filled his mind. Why hadn't anyone ever told him about it? How long had this thing been here? Why was it here? What special significance did this place hold?

As time passed, however, his mind stilled and became fully absorbed in contemplation of the statue. Though it was old and worn, it still conveyed as powerful a sense of peace and mastery as the one back at the temple. Sitting at its feet, surrounded by the fluttering of moths, the rustling of leaves, the chirping of the birds and the slow munching of the caterpillars, Yoiryu felt all his worries and frustrations dissolve. He forgot his anger and his pride; forgot fighting and the monastery; forgot his training and his desire to become a master. Thinking on it now, such things felt so small and childish.

There he stayed until it was time to leave, at which time he bowed to the Master one more time and left, walking peacefully down the mountain road and taking in the sights of nature. By the time he made it back, the first stars were up in the sky and everyone at the monastery was just finishing up their daily routines. After asking around a bit, he found out that Master Tian was waiting for him inside the temple. He found the old boar there, sitting before the statue of Master Xiu.

“I see you took your time in coming back,” he said.

“Sorry I'm late, Master. I got a bit distracted, and I...”

“There is no need to apologize; it is good that you took your time,” Master Tian said, turning towards him. “Now that you're here, though, there are matters to discuss. In a couple months, the other Masters and I will leave you. We will be departing for the great southern mountains as part of a ceremony to call on the favor and protection of the gods and ancestors for our monastery. You and the other students will remain here. We will be gone a month.

“You're going to leave us alone for a whole month? But what if someone takes advantage of your departure to attack the monastery? The demons from the eastern marshes have been acting up recently; who knows what they might dare to do with all of you gone.”

“That's all the more reason to call on the protection of the gods. Even a master has his limits, and we must recognize what those are. You will be left alone, yes, but we have faith that it will all turn out well for you. Every master had to go through the same thing as a student, and we believe that you're all as capable of handling yourselves as we had to be before you. And, Yoiryu? As the most skilled fighter among all our students, should the monastery come under attack, much of the responsibility for its defense will fall onto you. Can we trust you in this duty?”

Yoiryu bowed to his master. “I will do what is necessary and protect this place with my life if need be.”

—

The first week following the departure of the Masters went by quietly. Though most of the students were very tense at first, jumping at every shadow as if they expected to be invaded by demons hordes at any moment, this soon subsided as the watch-posts to the east remained perfectly quiet, reporting no demon sightings in the slightest. At the same time, there were some who found this silence concerning; it was too much of a coincidence for the demons to fall quiet not long after the masters left.

For the most part their lives continued as normal, only, since they now found themselves without guidance from their masters, they had to figure things out for themselves. As one closest to the rank of master among them all, Yoiryu was effectively made into their acting leader, and soon implemented some measures to ensure the monastery's protection, such as setting the students to train every day and setting up night patrols.

Come the second week, however, reports of suspicious movements started coming from the eastern outposts. As the movement only took place at night and under the cover of the trees they couldn't say for sure that they were the cause of demons, but everyone knew well enough that they were almost certainly behind it. Then one day the confirmation came that it was definitely the eastern demons. Someone out on patrol happened to catch a glimpse of what he swore had to be a small battalion, with at least one demon for every student at the monastery.

Panic threatened to erupt after this reveal, but cooler heads prevailed and preparations were made. Nothing could be done until the demons made their move save for keeping watch and preparing themselves, mentally and physically, to defend themselves and the monastery. Even so, no one had an easy sleep that night. Even Yoiryu found his eyes fluttering open at the slightest sound coming from outside.

As it turned out all their worries were a bit premature, as it wasn't until two nights later that the demons finally made their move. They moved under cover of night, swiftly taking out the patrols and lookouts before they could sound the alarms, then flooded into the monastery, chattering in excitement as they spread chaos.

The noise woke Yoiryu up from his slumber and he immediately rushed outside to see what was going on with a dozen other students trailing behind him, only to be met with the sight of countless bright red demons sporting vicious white fangs and sharp claws, illuminated by the fires they had set to quite a few of the monastery's wooden structures. Demons trashed whatever they could set their hands on and tried to seize whoever they saw; those they were able to knock down they dragged off beyond the monastery's confines, likely to serve as their victory feast once the fighting was over.

Of course the students tried to fight back, but despite their skills as fighters, the demons defeated them with their superior numbers, ferocity, and preparation. However good they were at martial arts, none of the students knew the first thing about warfare, and so their brawling was a disorganized affair that failed to stem the tide of demons.

Yoiryu himself, despite his training, stood uncertain, now knowing where to start approaching this absolute chaos around him. It wasn't until a demon caught sight of him and leapt at him, a roar in its mouth and a quarterstaff in its hands. Yoiryu ducked under the first swing and sidestepped the second, then grabbed ahold of the weapon and yanked it out of its wielder's hands, then spun around and delivered a blow to the demon's chest with it, the following CRACK suggesting that he'd just broken the foul creature's ribs. It fell back, letting out a pained shriek, then lunged at him with claws outstretched. Yoiryu smacked it on the side of the head so hard that his staff snapped, leaving him holding only half of it. The foul creature fell unmoving to the ground. Was it dead, or just out cold? Yoiryu didn't know the first thing about these creatures.

At the sound of the staff snapping, a pair of demons nearby who had just finished knocking a pair of his fellow students unconscious turned their attention to Yoiryu. Turning to see them rushing at him, Yoiryu threw the splintered remains of the staff at them. The first dodged, but the second was hit on the leg, causing it to fall on its face, delaying it long enough that Yoiryu could afford to focus on its companion first.

At first the sheer ferocity of his opponent's fighting style took Yoiryu by surprise; it was so unlike any opponent he'd faced before, especially since he'd never fought anyone who hadn't been trained in the same school of martial arts as him. Once he stopped trying to approach it with the same tactics he'd used against all his other opponents, however, Yoiryu was able to find its weaknesses and exploit them. The demon put so much force into its attacks that Yoiryu found constant openings he could take advantage of, and so he started taking his own opportunities to deliver some blows of his own, turning the tables on his opponent and driving the demon back. Growing frustrated, the demon roared and tried to end the fight with one furious punch, but Yoiryu dodged it and delivered a kick to its head, knocking it down just in time before the second demon arrived.

It walked uneasily, its leg obviously still hurting from the hit it had just taken. It tried to take him by surprise while he was still engaged with its companion, but the shuffling of its steps on the ground gave its approach away. When Yoiryu turned to face it, it was in no shape for a proper fight, and so Yoiryu was able to take advantage of its weak leg and apply what he'd so far learned about fighting demons to quickly dispatch it.

Taking a moment to recover his breath, Yoiryu looked around to take stock of the situation. A number of other students were being carried away, and while others were still up and fighting, they wouldn't last long against the encroaching demons. He was about to go and try to help them out when he caught sight of something curious out of the corner of his eye. One of the younger students, to escape from a group of demons, ran into the temple, shutting the door behind him. As the demons approached the building, they skidded to a stop shortly before reaching the door, then scrambled back, chattering uneasily among themselves.

“That's it! Everyone, get in the temple! The demons won't follow you in there! Go to the temple!” Yoiryu yelled. A dozen or so other students soon rushed into the building, pushing their way past the demons gathered around it, but most others were too busy dealing with their attackers to run for it. Yoiryu went to help them out one by one, helping to defeat the demons that surrounded them so they could all flee to the temple. He himself was the last to make the run for it, pushing past dozens of demons who howled after those who were already inside. Before he could get in one of the creatures grabbed at his ankle and tried to pull him back, while the other students grabbed him by the arms and tried to pull him in. After a few seconds of this tug-of-war, he finally made it in, collapsing on top of a pile of his companions.

They were safe in there, it seemed, as the demons wouldn't get any closer even to set fire to the place. Even so, none of them could feel safe, surrounding as they were by the vicious creatures, nor could they feel too happy about leaving their captured companions to their fate. But what more could they do? No matter how hard they tried, none of them could come up with a way to defeat these demons. All they could do was wait for them to leave, and so that's exactly what they did; they sat and waited.

After a while, a ripple arose from the gathered demons, as row after row of those gathered around the temple turned to cast their eyes upon an approaching behemoth whose figure those holed up inside could barely make out in the dim moonlight. Not until the huge creature came before the doorway, illuminated by the light of the temple's candles, did they realize that they were dealing with the leader of these demons; a fierce demon warlord with the size and the horns of an ox.

The students held their breath as the warlord stood at the invisible line past which none of the others would go then gasped in fear as it took a step forward, some other demons following closely, staying behind as if using it to shield themselves.

The students retreated as a group at the great demon's approach, going further and further back until they were with their backs to the wall, among all the statues of the gods and ancestors. The warlord stopped several feet away from them, eyeing the statues warily, then stepped forward alone. As he reached out to grab ahold of a young students, Yoiryu came between them and pushed its arm away. “Oh no, you don't. You're not getting anyone else until you go through me,” he said. He advanced against the monster, throwing out punches and kicks, all of which the demon lord blocked without so much as breaking a sweat. Yoiryu found its arms and legs as solid as tree trunks, and it seemed the only thing he accomplished by hitting them was hurting himself. He tried a few blows to its head or belly, but the demon blocked those too, then returned a powerful blow that sent him tumbling back and knocked all the air from his lungs.

Yoiryu carefully stood, clutching at his chest as he struggled to breathe again. At his opponent's approach, he went for a surprise attack, landing a blow with his elbow to its stomach, but found it every bit as hard as its arms and legs. The demon's laughed as Yoiryu clutched at his aching elbow, then the warlord seized him by the neck and threw him to the ground. Before he could get up, the hulking demon stomped a foot on his back, pinning him to the ground with a derisive snort. Yoiryu turned his gaze up, catching sight of his fellow students, of the statues of the gods, and of Master Xiu's statue. He had failed them. He failed them all, and this would be the end of the monastery. “I'm sorry,” he said as he prepared to take the finishing blow.

Just then, however, Yoiryu felt a surge of new energy spill into his body, reinvigorating him with a power that he knew could not be his own. He heard a voice call to him in his head. “You haven't failed yet. Now stand, and defend my monastery.” With this new power, Yoiryu pushed himself up, throwing the demon lord off-balance. As he stood up, it stepped back from him, rejoining its troops. Turning around, Yoiryu saw the demons filling the room, holding their weapons nervously and chattering uneasily among themselves.

“Leave this place, demons!” he said. As he thrust out his palm at them, and a force projected from it, sending all but the warlord flying out through the entrance. The hulking demon brandished its weapon and stomped its feet, roaring defiance at him. Yoiryu leapt through the air, flying right at the demon and delivering a punch right to its chest, with enough force to launch him out through the entrance. With the temple now cleared of all who would defile it, he turned to his fellow students. “Don't worry now; I'll take care of everything.”

Stepping outside, he saw dozens of demon soldiers picking themselves off the ground. Once they were back on their feet, they screeched at him and ran at him as a mob.

Yoiryu held his arm to the side and a gold-tipped quarterstaff materialized in his hands. Jumping to meet the approaching demons, he swung the staff at them, sweeping away at least a dozen with a single blow, launching them back into other groups of demons. It took only a few swings for them to learn their lesson and stay away from him. “What's the matter? Are you all too scared to come at me? Why don't you all just run off back where you came from before I give you something to be really scared of?”

The demons chattered uneasily among themselves, then after a moment they all turned their gazes to something behind him. Whirling around, Yoiryu saw their leader walking up towards him. Tendrils of darkness surrounded him, flowing into him, and as he absorbed that demonic energy, Yoiryu saw him bulge outwards with new power. The demon grew until he stood as tall as a house, then roared and charged at Yoiryu, moving at inhuman speeds. As it neared the young fighter, it swung its polearm down with such force that when Yoiryu blocked the blow with his staff, the force drove him back a full three feet across the ground.

Blocking blow after blow he was driven further back until he jumped out of the demon's range just as it was preparing for an overhead swing. As its polearm dug into the earth, Yoiryu leapt at it, thrusting his quarterstaff into the being's chest, then swinging it upwards to strike him on the chin. The demon stumbled back, then let loose a roar and grew even further in size. Yoiryu tried to strike him again, but though the blows landed, they seemed to do no damage than if he were attacking with a pencil.

Moving faster than he could react, the demon warlord kicked him straight in the chest, sending him flying back dozens of feet. Yoiryu landed on his paws, stabilizing himself with his staff as he slid over the earth for a few yards, then stood with his weapon slung over his arm. Even with his newfound strength, he knew he had no chance of beating this fight. Still, win or lose, he would fight to the bitter end.

“Worry not, young Yoiryu,” another voice spoke into his mind. “Your masters have secured the blessing and protection of the gods. Now take some of our power and go drive these beasts back whence they came.”

Yoiryu felt a new surge of energy coming into his body, and he saw the world around him seem to shrink. The demon warlord looked at him in surprise as after Yoiryu grew to match its size in only a few seconds, and then to surpass it, coming to stand head and shoulders above his opponent. Charging at the demon, he swung his quarterstaff upwards and flung it into the air, then jumped up and landed a blow that sent it crashing into the earth right outside the monastery. Yoiryu landed softly on his paws before him and waited for his foe to stand up again.

Holding its head in its hands, the monster roared up at the sky, a fierce rumbling that even shook the branches on the trees. Then the chattering of demons rose up all around, and Yoiryu looked down at his feet to see the whole mass of demons swarming from the monastery over to their leader. He stomped at them in disgust, driving them into the ground, but more kept coming, including some which came from the forest.
As they reached the warlord they jumped onto it, then burrowed or were absorbed into its body. As it absorbed the strength of all its demonic him swell up with power yet again. This time his size put even Yoiryu's to shame, as the young fox only reached up to its knees. Holding up its polearm, it swung down with such speed and ferocity that it seemed this would surely be the blow that did Yoiryu in once and for all, but when Yoiryu raised his staff to block it, the blow did not so much as budge his body. The monster kept pressing down, trying to split Yoiryu's body in half with its blade, only to find his weapon being forced upwards as Yoiryu started to grow. His whole body was aglow with divine energy now, and he heard a whisper of a divine voice that his masters had earned the favor of the gods. With the energy of dozens of divinities filing him, Yoiryu surged upwards, easily surpassing the demon's size and still showing no signs of stopping. He grew and grew, his height surging up along the mountain's until his head grew well past its peak; so big that to stand he had to set his feet down to either side of it, the whole mountain easily fitting under the arch of his legs.

“I don't imagine you can get any bigger than that, can you?” he asked from his new height, smirking at the mouse-sized demon lord. The fierce beast shrieked and turn to run plodding away from him, scurrying through the forest. “Oh, you're not getting away that easily. Come here, you.” Yoiryu swiped it up with the end of his staff, lifting it up and watching as it scrambled to hold on. Then, with a swing of his staff, Yoiryu sent the troublesome being flying through the air, back towards the eastern marshes come from. “So long, you monsters. I hope to never see you lot again!”

With that out of the way, Yoiryu turned his attention to the monastery. “You guys can come out now; the demons are all gone,” he said, kneeling down to get a better look. He saw the other students peering out from inside the temple, not quite daring to go outside. “Hey, you're not scared of me, are you? Come on, it's just me, Yoiryu. You've all known me for years, there's no reason to be scared of me!” After a time some of the others finally started trailing out of the temple, staring up at him in awe. “Is everyone okay down there? Are there any dead? No? Good, good. And I think the ones the demons captured should be right over here...” He carefully sifted through the trees with his claws, tearing up a few of them so he could get a better look at the ground beneath their branches. “Ah, there they are! I'll bring them all over, you guys check to make sure they're all okay.” He carefully scooped them up into his hand, then carried them to the monastery and left them in the middle of the square. Once he moved his hand away, the others started going in to check on them, and after a while, they gave him a sign to understand that everything was okay.

“Tend to the wounded and get yourselves some rest. The demons won't be coming back anytime soon, and I don't think anyone else will think to try anything with me around.”

—

“And that's basically how it all went down,” Yoiryu said, finishing his narrative of that fateful night's events.

“Yoiryu, we thank you for defending the monastery. You did a splendid job taking care of those demons,” Master Tian said. “Only, do you have any idea how much longer you'll remain at this size?”

“Oh, I can do that anytime I want; it's just that I really don't want to. This size suits me much better, don't you agree? Besides, it's much easier to defend the monastery like this. So, to answer your question, I'll probably stay like this for as long as I have the gods' permission. Oh, but don't worry about it, I promise I won't be bothering you much; I've promised the gods to do a few favors for them in exchange for this, and now that you're here to keep the monastery safe I can get started on them! Starting tomorrow, I'm introducing myself to the world!”

—

“Well, that was certainly... interesting,” Conall said as the “movie” came to a close. “So what exactly prompted that little adventure in particular?”

Yoiryu sighed behind him, the silver-furred fox holding his face in his hands. “I... had a really big martial arts movie phase in the 80s,” he explained.

“I see,” Conall said, snuggling up to his boyfriend. “So what other phases have you had that you're not telling me about? Westerns, maybe? Is there, or was there, a Sheriff Yoiryu somewhere out in the multiverse, locking up cattle rustlers and protecting towns from bandit attacks?”

“...”

“... No way, are you serious? You have to show me it!”

“Alright, alright, I'll show it to you. Just, not today. I can only handle so much embarrassment in one day.”

“That's a deal, then. By the way, do you still know all of those moved you did there? I wonder if you might show me a few of those tricks.”