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This is the story accompanying this post: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43126152/
I like writing sometimes, but I'm not really good at it, sadly. Hopefully I'll improve in the future!
Nyx, Heid, story and art by © Me
You're not allowed to use nor repost neither my story nor my art without my consent.
I hope you like it! Any comments are really really appreciated!
I like writing sometimes, but I'm not really good at it, sadly. Hopefully I'll improve in the future!
Nyx, Heid, story and art by © Me
You're not allowed to use nor repost neither my story nor my art without my consent.
I hope you like it! Any comments are really really appreciated!
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“Then, her room became hot. Really hot.” This is temporal transition. They are weaker than transitioning naturally throughout a text. Provide us that action and reaction here. Use the character to transition. Thus, it becomes showing over telling.
“quickly grabbed and raised” this wants to be a transition ending, but since we have no description it kind of cuts off.
“But these were snapping,” I always caution developing writers to stay away from starting sentences with and and but because they are dependent upon the sentence before them. A bit of a mess here because of the double but.
Yeah, just comes down to practice and keep working on leading and showing through description: Character, environment, and action description to help scene and character comes to life. You have it though mostly in the dream description of the monster.
Also good work on your anthropomorphic bug description, rare, and fun to see.