Fuck this shit, amirite? Today's such a bullshit day, time to get FUCKIN' SMASHED because seriously, who gets threatened at work and pulled over by the cops on the same day? And I don't fuckin' care what that cop says, he PLANTED that goddamn gas pedal in my car. 90 miles an hour my ass! Well, actually, my ass was technically travelling 90 along with the rest of my car.

HUSKALOPE HISTORY LESSON, gaiz. The link between the lope and mexican food has long been established as being a fact. Science has proven it, because I eat goddamn tacos, mang. What's not such common knowledge is how deep-rooted this history is.

See, huskalopes actually go back far in middle and south american history, thousands of years. There were huskalopes as far back as during the Mayan empire, and they occupied a similar spot in mythology as the Chupacabra, being both honored and feared at the same time.

Unlike the chupacabra, however, huskalopes were far better known for their propensity towards swiping beer (and other alcoholic beverages) from Incan frat parties, eating all the taco beef at the taco bar (when folks are not looking) and then secretly picking up a mayan princess or two for the evening, before stealing off into the night with a fucking fiesta in tow. Villagers would often leave out offerings to the huskalopes of the mountains in hopes that they'd come and shower their keggers in unbridled awesome, and sometimes I'd come out to humor them.

Aji_mirasol on livejournal found one of their cave paintings depicting the revered huskalope on a recent journey to Chichen Itza and took down their interpretation of it so that I could remember the times when I was revered as a god. P.S. they totally made me one of those awesome gold and jade crowns that looked like it had feathers.