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Story / Inflation
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I fancy myself as a bit of a writer so here is a short story that I've done. Half action, half water inflation. It mostly follows Timelson and also introduces a new character that I may use again, most of the usual Fechi bunch play some roll. Most, including myself usually don't bother with stories so I'm not expecting much feedback but getting some would be appreciated.
Category Story / Inflation
Species Lizard
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 29 kB
So a couple things I need to suggest;
-Use a full tab-indent for every paragraph
-Breakdown the paragraphs more each time you start a new idea, description, etc.
-Each time there's a new speaker you start a new paragraph.
But otherwise, awesome work, Sdwag. :3 The inflation alone was great. Very nice descriptions. <3
-Use a full tab-indent for every paragraph
-Breakdown the paragraphs more each time you start a new idea, description, etc.
-Each time there's a new speaker you start a new paragraph.
But otherwise, awesome work, Sdwag. :3 The inflation alone was great. Very nice descriptions. <3
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