I have not been well for a long time I no longer feel like the one I used to feel very bad and the only thing that makes me happy is playing games and talking with my friend but these days we hardly talk much I see in Roblox that he is connected playing I go to her account and I see that she is playing with people who hate me my friend has been ignoring me I try to complain but then she gets angry with me so I just stay silent with everything she does to me because then everything gets worse I would like playing with her many things was very happy when she did it was the best of my days we talked for a long time and laughed a lot only that everything went downhill when I began to feel less real? I did not understand my existence, it was very bad, I did not even know why I was here, it is the same, only worse, since the only thing that made me feel real made me return to my reality now it only hides everything from me, I am the one who has to start the conversations because if I do not do it we would never talk she no longer tells me anything personal or things like that I only show her images or write things to her but she just ignores me and spends her time playing with someone who bullied me and she also bullied my friend when she was little and It is also a crap of a person, it is like one I do not know how to explain it in English as a basic one, the typical one who thinks all the time about tik toks bts and things about girls that I hate and the other person was my friend I even had a crush with her I wanted her I wanted to be with her so much it didn't matter if I sold my soul for her then I started not having many topics of conversation and I only spoke to her to ask her for the task that made me sad because I felt that I was using her so I stopped talking to She so as not to feel bad because the only thing we said to each other is hey, do you have your math homework? I wanted her to meet other people that if they knew how to treat her well but now she only excludes me, it seems that she does not care about my existence yesterday I had an exposure with her and she only left me out she does not care and that it was a task is very immature now I hate too much it is horrible with me and it feels bad to see my current friend been with them, ignoring me, I have to keep my disagreements with her or if she does not get angry with me, she no longer plays with me, I just stay alone I have no more friends I can't take it anymore all I just want to play with her and be happy like before without any existential crisis just having a good time with her but I don't think that could happen for now I don't think I just feel very bad

If I wrote something wrong or misunderstood, I just want to get it out I don't want to review anything I don't care