"I like it," he says, as he sips his 48th cup of black.

=3

I'd have to side with the original version.

Really? Tell me more. :O

it's drink or die,
or drink and wish I was dead.


This has a lot more punch to it than the pseudo-religious attitude towards caffeine in the later version, IMO.

Also, the way the first section went seemed more like you were in charge of your body, not the other way around...it was just as simple as the order of the sentences. You're not slowing down because your body tells you you're tired. You already know you're tired. It's been decided.

Hmm. I can kind of see what you mean. Thanks for the comments! :)

And I liked this version more than the other. Just flowed better to me.