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nishi
The thoughts I have wherein I personally struggle in finding balance with myself while not giving in to one part of me more than I should.
"I wish I was a hatchling again," quivered a green-colored nuthatch as he looked towards the diapered dino-duck.
Yosh, who was said diapered dino-duck, cuddled himself into the eggshell-hat wearing, middle-aged bird.
"But being all grown up means you get to do more things," he replied. "I wish I was all grown up so I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted."
"Hmm?" considered the trembling adult. "Isn't it nice to be loved and cared for all the time?"
Yosh looked up towards the quaking grown-up.
"Mommy, daddy, and everyone are so nice," he stated with a big smile and wiggle of his stubby tail. "Every day is a happy day and being all grown up means I have happy days with more I can do all by myself!"
The sickly-looking bird gulped.
"Dis ifferent," he nervously replied. "Oh, I mean, uh,"
"Mr. Nuthatch," a stork with a hint of a British accent interjected. "I encourage you to think about how you will reply to the lad."
Mr. Nuthatch gulped again before making a series of groaning sounds.
"What's wrong?" Yosh asked as he watched the grown-up rock himself in place, fidget with his wings, and make clicking sounds with his beak.
The stork, who was Mr. Nuthatch's therapist, took notes on what he was observing.
"Yosh," he stated. "Do you have anything you would like to say to Mr. Nuthatch?"
Yosh beamed as he gave the anxious adult a big hug.
"I love you!" he proclaimed. "I want to be like you and wear an eggshell hat when I grow up!"
Mr. Nuthatch felt even more anxious upon hearing the heartfelt statement that was further complimented by the embrace he received from the preschooler.
"Do you need your blankie, Mr. Nuthatch?" the psychiatrist, Morty Storkawits, inquired while reaching for the comfort item that was on a nearby chair.
"Blankie!" chirped Yosh as he moved to reach for the soft comfort item.
"I-i-if i-it is k-o, I mean, okay?" the nervous nuthatch replied.
Yosh continued to make grabby hands for the blankie.
“First,” Morty stated as he looked towards Mr. Nuthatch. “Do you mind if Yosh borrows your blankie?”
The trembling, middle-aged bird looked towards the youthful dino-duckling who was focused on nothing more than getting his hands on his blankie.
“Uh-huh,” he replied with a bit of hesitation.
The psychiatrist looked towards Yosh and smiled.
“And what do you ask Mr. Nuthatch to get his blankie?” he asked in a fatherly tone.
Yosh looked up to the anxious nuthatch.
“Can I please snuggle your blankie?” he asked as he grew doe-eyed towards Mr. Nuthatch.
“Okay,” the jittery bird replied as he took the blankie from Dr. Storkawits and handed it to the diapered dino-duck.
“Swaddle?” Yosh asked while maintaining eye contact with the green-feathered grown-up.
“Hmm,” considered Morty as he pulled one of his opera records from the shelf and placed it upon the turntable. “Let’s go with that, Mr. Nuthatch.”
“Really?” the flustered bird gasped.
The record began to play a tune that was sung completely by a clucking chicken.
“If you would,” the psychiatrist stated. “I think you will both find this exercise quite cathartic.”
Mr. Nuthatch, being an Adult Fledgling (AF) was all too eager to swaddle and cuddle the preschooler who had insisted on regressing himself back into diapers.
“Now what?” he asked as he felt himself start to relax.
“How do you feel?”
Mr. Nuthatch felt himself calming down as he rocked and held the swaddled dino-duckling close to his chest.
“I feel happy,” he replied in a much more chipper voice. “I feel like I did when I had my tenth birthday party at McGrubbies and everyone was so happy to be with me.”
Yosh’s eyes closed as he quickly slipped into slumber in Mr. Nuthatch’s tender embrace.
“Wonderful,” stated Morty. “Isn’t it, Mr. Nuthatch?”
The eggshell hat wearing patient felt himself slip into the couch. His muscles losing a lot of tension as he comforted the diapered dino-duckling.
“Would it be alright if I just sat here like this for awhile, doctor?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” replied Morty. “There is no hurry as both of your sessions are back-to-back. Your permission, along with that of Yosh’s parents, is how we are making this positive step in both of your therapy plans.”
Dr. Storkawits pulled out his paper and pencil to jot down some notes as Yosh fell into a deep sleep and Mr. Nuthatch adjusted himself to better support the tyke in his wings.
“UUh-hmm,” he considered as he wrote down a plan that, with Yosh’s parents permission, would allow him to make Yosh more comfortable in growing up while providing Mr. Nuthatch an incentive to rely less on his AF quirks to feel both safe and validated.
nishiThe thoughts I have wherein I personally struggle in finding balance with myself while not giving in to one part of me more than I should.
"I wish I was a hatchling again," quivered a green-colored nuthatch as he looked towards the diapered dino-duck.
Yosh, who was said diapered dino-duck, cuddled himself into the eggshell-hat wearing, middle-aged bird.
"But being all grown up means you get to do more things," he replied. "I wish I was all grown up so I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted."
"Hmm?" considered the trembling adult. "Isn't it nice to be loved and cared for all the time?"
Yosh looked up towards the quaking grown-up.
"Mommy, daddy, and everyone are so nice," he stated with a big smile and wiggle of his stubby tail. "Every day is a happy day and being all grown up means I have happy days with more I can do all by myself!"
The sickly-looking bird gulped.
"Dis ifferent," he nervously replied. "Oh, I mean, uh,"
"Mr. Nuthatch," a stork with a hint of a British accent interjected. "I encourage you to think about how you will reply to the lad."
Mr. Nuthatch gulped again before making a series of groaning sounds.
"What's wrong?" Yosh asked as he watched the grown-up rock himself in place, fidget with his wings, and make clicking sounds with his beak.
The stork, who was Mr. Nuthatch's therapist, took notes on what he was observing.
"Yosh," he stated. "Do you have anything you would like to say to Mr. Nuthatch?"
Yosh beamed as he gave the anxious adult a big hug.
"I love you!" he proclaimed. "I want to be like you and wear an eggshell hat when I grow up!"
Mr. Nuthatch felt even more anxious upon hearing the heartfelt statement that was further complimented by the embrace he received from the preschooler.
"Do you need your blankie, Mr. Nuthatch?" the psychiatrist, Morty Storkawits, inquired while reaching for the comfort item that was on a nearby chair.
"Blankie!" chirped Yosh as he moved to reach for the soft comfort item.
"I-i-if i-it is k-o, I mean, okay?" the nervous nuthatch replied.
Yosh continued to make grabby hands for the blankie.
“First,” Morty stated as he looked towards Mr. Nuthatch. “Do you mind if Yosh borrows your blankie?”
The trembling, middle-aged bird looked towards the youthful dino-duckling who was focused on nothing more than getting his hands on his blankie.
“Uh-huh,” he replied with a bit of hesitation.
The psychiatrist looked towards Yosh and smiled.
“And what do you ask Mr. Nuthatch to get his blankie?” he asked in a fatherly tone.
Yosh looked up to the anxious nuthatch.
“Can I please snuggle your blankie?” he asked as he grew doe-eyed towards Mr. Nuthatch.
“Okay,” the jittery bird replied as he took the blankie from Dr. Storkawits and handed it to the diapered dino-duck.
“Swaddle?” Yosh asked while maintaining eye contact with the green-feathered grown-up.
“Hmm,” considered Morty as he pulled one of his opera records from the shelf and placed it upon the turntable. “Let’s go with that, Mr. Nuthatch.”
“Really?” the flustered bird gasped.
The record began to play a tune that was sung completely by a clucking chicken.
“If you would,” the psychiatrist stated. “I think you will both find this exercise quite cathartic.”
Mr. Nuthatch, being an Adult Fledgling (AF) was all too eager to swaddle and cuddle the preschooler who had insisted on regressing himself back into diapers.
“Now what?” he asked as he felt himself start to relax.
“How do you feel?”
Mr. Nuthatch felt himself calming down as he rocked and held the swaddled dino-duckling close to his chest.
“I feel happy,” he replied in a much more chipper voice. “I feel like I did when I had my tenth birthday party at McGrubbies and everyone was so happy to be with me.”
Yosh’s eyes closed as he quickly slipped into slumber in Mr. Nuthatch’s tender embrace.
“Wonderful,” stated Morty. “Isn’t it, Mr. Nuthatch?”
The eggshell hat wearing patient felt himself slip into the couch. His muscles losing a lot of tension as he comforted the diapered dino-duckling.
“Would it be alright if I just sat here like this for awhile, doctor?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” replied Morty. “There is no hurry as both of your sessions are back-to-back. Your permission, along with that of Yosh’s parents, is how we are making this positive step in both of your therapy plans.”
Dr. Storkawits pulled out his paper and pencil to jot down some notes as Yosh fell into a deep sleep and Mr. Nuthatch adjusted himself to better support the tyke in his wings.
“UUh-hmm,” he considered as he wrote down a plan that, with Yosh’s parents permission, would allow him to make Yosh more comfortable in growing up while providing Mr. Nuthatch an incentive to rely less on his AF quirks to feel both safe and validated.
Category All / All
Species Avian (Other)
Size 1000 x 1000px
File Size 251.2 kB
Aw, good job on the story Yosh! I think this one also puts it very clearly how people who grow up wanting to be young again yearn for that feeling of being loved, times being simple, parents admiring you, everyone treating you nicely, and warm fuzzy feelings. Haha, though it's kinda funny, I wonder how much of that we kinda create ourselves? Cause, I'm not too sure if we really realize that as it's happening. Usually kids are upset often but, at the least we know adults back then were maybe more nice and curious about us as kids, things seemed friendlier, and as we grow up, people aren't really as happy to see us or might judge us more harshly and think we're too weird, hehe. I guess in that case it is a bit more obvious how people were back then. Or, maybe if some never had that or didn't have much of it, it makes us yearn for that from what we know now. Maybe it's more of an envious thing. I dunno! But, we always seem to want what we don't have, like Mr. Nuthatch and Yosh both wanting the opposite instead of enjoying what they currently have. I guess that's very normal and human! But, at least as adults you can enjoy a bit of both!
Great points, Oxnard. I have come to see my RL self as Mr. Nuthatch and Yosh as the me who can find validation despite not 'fitting in' with the world around me. The struggle is finding a way to feel more appreciated outside of lil' Yosh and more as the one who plays his character.
There was a line in the 4th 'Indiana Jones' movie that really stuck out. this being, "We are at the age where life takes away more than it gives.". This statement feels more-and-more relevant with each passing year. I then watch 'Birdz' and hear Mr. Nuthatch introduce himself as, "I'm 45 years old and my future is bleak.".
I do not want to feel like things are bleak, but my real self feels so lonely and unappreciated. I have comfort in who I am, but not in how the world views me. It's an interesting dichotomy that I really would like to bridge the gap over.
I'd like to think that having some friends, or someone to share life with on a regular basis, would help me fix the Mr. Nuthatch part of myself. Losing my jobs, eyesight, and family have been major blows that only Yosh has been able to shoulder. He is my 'safety' when I find my mind heading into not-so-happy places. I just want to be less of a Mr. Nuthatch when I'm my RL self. *Shrugs*
Then again, as they say, "Good things come with time.". Mr. Nuthatch made his breakthroughs at age 45. This means I have 4 more years to see if I can find my way of feeling as good offline as I do online. :)
There was a line in the 4th 'Indiana Jones' movie that really stuck out. this being, "We are at the age where life takes away more than it gives.". This statement feels more-and-more relevant with each passing year. I then watch 'Birdz' and hear Mr. Nuthatch introduce himself as, "I'm 45 years old and my future is bleak.".
I do not want to feel like things are bleak, but my real self feels so lonely and unappreciated. I have comfort in who I am, but not in how the world views me. It's an interesting dichotomy that I really would like to bridge the gap over.
I'd like to think that having some friends, or someone to share life with on a regular basis, would help me fix the Mr. Nuthatch part of myself. Losing my jobs, eyesight, and family have been major blows that only Yosh has been able to shoulder. He is my 'safety' when I find my mind heading into not-so-happy places. I just want to be less of a Mr. Nuthatch when I'm my RL self. *Shrugs*
Then again, as they say, "Good things come with time.". Mr. Nuthatch made his breakthroughs at age 45. This means I have 4 more years to see if I can find my way of feeling as good offline as I do online. :)
All very true. *Snugs* This is why I'm glad I did stumble upon 'Birdz'. SWhen, in episode 1, Mr. Nuthatch states, "I'm 45 years old and my future is bleak.", I had time to see myself as being, at the time, 39, how I was getting close to being right where his character was at. So, as a result, I found ways to use him to work through a lot of traumas I have struggled to push past. :)
For me, as I have known and talked with other 'Littles', it would seem a broken childhood is the cause of wanting to 'go back'. There is a part of yourself that, perhaps subconsciously, feels that if you can get to the point prior to when your life did not feel rushed into adulthood, you would not feel so much depression and/or anxiety?
This is why I worry about Peep so much. He has definitely struggled since his mother left and went around the block a few times. I don't want him to feel he needs to go back to a time prior to his trust was fractured. Though, truly, he will be what he is going to be and, in the least, I can ensure he doesn't feel shame for how he goes on to cope with his traumas.
I think, for me, knowing that I was an outcast from a very early age played a huge part of my troubles. Though, at the same time, I remember lots of diaper-related things starting from the age of 4. So, maybe, it was just how my parents, not knowing about the condition and getting no outside support, let me enjoy bottles and diapers longer than I should have?
Overall, as you put it, the best thing is to find how to blend the best of the real and desired self together. Feeling comfy with the two together in balance is really a game changer. :)
For me, as I have known and talked with other 'Littles', it would seem a broken childhood is the cause of wanting to 'go back'. There is a part of yourself that, perhaps subconsciously, feels that if you can get to the point prior to when your life did not feel rushed into adulthood, you would not feel so much depression and/or anxiety?
This is why I worry about Peep so much. He has definitely struggled since his mother left and went around the block a few times. I don't want him to feel he needs to go back to a time prior to his trust was fractured. Though, truly, he will be what he is going to be and, in the least, I can ensure he doesn't feel shame for how he goes on to cope with his traumas.
I think, for me, knowing that I was an outcast from a very early age played a huge part of my troubles. Though, at the same time, I remember lots of diaper-related things starting from the age of 4. So, maybe, it was just how my parents, not knowing about the condition and getting no outside support, let me enjoy bottles and diapers longer than I should have?
Overall, as you put it, the best thing is to find how to blend the best of the real and desired self together. Feeling comfy with the two together in balance is really a game changer. :)
Precisely! *Crinklesnugs*
The struggle, especially as chronological age goes up, is that you really want to feel like you belong in the greater scheme of things. You want to be appreciated for who you are and what you help bring to the greater whole of society...
...However the reality of how society has been to you up to this point makes it very hard to ever feel like you are 'welcome' outside of the little spaces you've found comfort in for years, if not decades.
Mr. Nuthatch of Birdz was an eye opener for me. Those who have described him have me seeing him as a positive AB / DL example. He introduces himself as being 45 years old while clinging quite closely to his blankie and eggshell hat. They provide him safety from all that has hurt him and brought him to his current state. Fortunately, like most of us, he is always trying to do more with himself even if the world at large fails to ever try to meet him anywhere near the proverbial 'middle'.
Yosh was created in 2008 as an outlet for me to feel safe and loved. However the real me is Mr. Nuthatch. A forty-something who knows he can do so much more while being so traumatized and hurt to know really how to do it... if it is even possible.
The struggle, especially as chronological age goes up, is that you really want to feel like you belong in the greater scheme of things. You want to be appreciated for who you are and what you help bring to the greater whole of society...
...However the reality of how society has been to you up to this point makes it very hard to ever feel like you are 'welcome' outside of the little spaces you've found comfort in for years, if not decades.
Mr. Nuthatch of Birdz was an eye opener for me. Those who have described him have me seeing him as a positive AB / DL example. He introduces himself as being 45 years old while clinging quite closely to his blankie and eggshell hat. They provide him safety from all that has hurt him and brought him to his current state. Fortunately, like most of us, he is always trying to do more with himself even if the world at large fails to ever try to meet him anywhere near the proverbial 'middle'.
Yosh was created in 2008 as an outlet for me to feel safe and loved. However the real me is Mr. Nuthatch. A forty-something who knows he can do so much more while being so traumatized and hurt to know really how to do it... if it is even possible.
Aww, yeah. Mr. Nuthatch is a cute name though. I think it would be healthy to explore him more in stories and art maybe. With me, its just Ozzie and my RL self. Since Ozzie can change ages at will, he represents the desire fulfilled. I've been working on a new character though, and I have some art of him I'll be posting soon. He'll be someone who is more resistant to regression, yet secretly wants it. However, even when he gets regressed, he still has trouble bringing out his inner child.
Sorry for the super-late reply, Ozzie. I'm getting a lot of things caught up now that my mom is visiting for awhile. So, as of today, I am really making progress on seeing posts, comments, etc. :)
I look forward to checking in on your new character. I like the concept of how they feel towards being 'Little'. It, to me, is much like my real self is. I would really want it, but do not know how it would work out as I do not know anyone who would want a more needy RL dino-ducky.
Someday, if it is ever possible, I'd hope we can meet at a convention and just enjoy silly conversation in our nappies. :)
I look forward to checking in on your new character. I like the concept of how they feel towards being 'Little'. It, to me, is much like my real self is. I would really want it, but do not know how it would work out as I do not know anyone who would want a more needy RL dino-ducky.
Someday, if it is ever possible, I'd hope we can meet at a convention and just enjoy silly conversation in our nappies. :)
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